On the fence, BIG time!!

Navy - posted on 08/13/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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So, since June, my husband and I have been considering having our second child. Our first is almost three now. My problem is, that I'm so on the fence about it, I'm getting cut by the barbed wire. Lol.

There are so many pro's and con's happening in my head it's ridiculous. One minute, I'm all for it, the next I'm freaking out and thinking of all the con's. I've been to my doctor to let her know we want to have our second in the near future, and even got prenatal vitamins, then took them for about a month. After that, I started psyching myself out and stopped.

Pro's: - I want my daughter to have at least one sibling so she won't be lonely. (When I see her playing on the playground with other little kids, it give me a great feeling. Like what it would look like with another little brother or sister.)
- I want my husband to be able to experience more of the 'Newborn' stage. Seeing as he left for basic training for the Navy, three weeks after our daughter was born. And didn't see her again until she was five to seven months.
- I want to experience a more planned and enjoyable pregnancy. The first one was very frightening in a first-timer sort of way. Even though I had no complications whatsoever.
- My husband is in the Navy, and has a 'shore duty' job, so he would be around for the pregnancy to help, and after.

Some con's are: - The baby would be nearly four years apart from our daughter and therefore I'm nervous about them not connecting well at all.
- Financially, I'm scared, for the future. Being in the Navy is pretty solid and medical would be paid for, but for schooling and such... My husband and I suck with saving money.
- I didn't like being pregnant all that much. It was a very weird experience for me.
- I get panic attacks when I'm not allowed to sleep. Very difficult when we had our daughter, and after my husband left for basic.
- Dealing with two children, virtually on our own without friends and family around to help, scares the crap out of me.
-My husband and I don't get date nights or any time to ourselves at all, as it is right now, due to having no friends and family around. So with two, would we go insane?

-- The list could go on and on, I suppose. I really would like some reassurance that the world won't end if we do decide to have a second child. Lol. I want things to work out the way I see them working out in my head, and I know that's not realistic, and rarely ever think this way, but pregnancy is a big decision, and it's making me go nuts with the different ways it could go. I would like to know that the age difference wouldn't be so bad between them. In my personal experience, I was four or more years apart from my siblings and really lonely since they did their own thing without me. Also, my husbands youngest sister is four or more years apart from his parent's third, and she's expressed how much she hated it. I don't want that to happen. So any advice on this matter, would be awesome, please!? Thank you!

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