Ontario Welfare and Child Support - I need advice!

Jaclyn - posted on 07/20/2012 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Hi everyone I just joined and have been having a conflict for a long time and hoping some moms can help!



I am having my first child in a week and her father and I are doing great. He can't wait to be a part of her life and there are no problems.



BUT he doesn't want to pay child support - he is struggling to get by on his own. I also don't want to force him into that because I know he is going to be there as a father figure and buys anything when he gets a chance.



I originally was going to say to welfare that I had a one night stand and have no clue about the father so they won't go after him and I can still get the usual welfare support.



But he wants her to have his last name and wants me to say "the father left but I hope to find him one day so that's why I gave her his last name mixed with mine.". I don't feel right about this because I think they might try to locate him (he wants me to give a fake first name for him). If they don't find anyone with his name or I keep saying "that's not the right one" will they find out? And I don't know what kind of questions they will be asking me. I don't want to deny him his paper rights to his child but I also don't want (and WILL NOT) screw myself over.



In the end I am doing what is right for me & my baby - so would my story work better or would his story work?



I know it is wrong but please don't judge

9 Comments

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Shantel - posted on 01/11/2014

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I been in that situation don't because the lie will come back and hunt you. if you lie you will get away for now but if you and him get into any conflicts it might back fire on you think before you do and do what's best for you and the child

Firebird - posted on 07/26/2012

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When I was on assistance, I had to sign over my rights to collect child support to the family maintenance enforcement program. They took my ex to court "on my behalf". I got the child support money directly, it didn't go to the government. I had to claim it every month as part of my income and my assistance checks were smaller because of it.

Jaclyn, if the gov. finds out you're lying to them you could lose your assistance completely. You do not want to go down that road. Just do the right thing. The man made a baby, now it's time for him to step up.

Brittany - posted on 07/26/2012

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Part of getting assistance is welfare taking the father to court to collect CS. However welfare gets the $ - not Mom.. or Mom gets the $ and it's taken dollar for dollar off of her check..

Ashley - posted on 07/25/2012

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Sorry, but as an Ontario tax paying resident, I certainly hope you are not going to file saying the father was a one night stand because he doesn't want to be held accountable, regardless of how excited he is. Because that's lying to the government and if he can support, I would prefer my tax money go towards people who have NO support. He made a baby, he should understand he is on the hook for that baby.

Does he even have to pay child support at this point? I would imagine child support is only put in place in situations where they are not providing assistance without the courts stepping in or you have joint custody. I always thought child support was something that you pursued independantly.

On a less personal level, protect yourself- I understand not wanting to feel like you are forcing him to pay, but if you are caught lying about this you could be forced to pay back whatever sort of funding you get from the government and at the end of the day, that makes things much harder for you and your daughter. Also, if your daughter's father wants his name on the kid's birth certificate but doesn't want to go about the right way, with his real name and information, then I wouldn't feel too bad about denying his paper rights because he seems to have no problem waiving them away. At the end of the day, it's about protecting yourself and your child and if you go to great lengths NOW to hide his identity or cover for him so he doesn't have to pay support, it will make it that much easier for him to skirt around paying it should things not work out between the two of you.

Brittany - posted on 07/22/2012

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Yes, very bad idea to lie like this to government. They do have family assistance, why not explain the REAL situation -- they may help get you all living together and help him get an education and proper job.

Otherwise, if you want whats BEST for you and baby, put his name on the birth certificate and let welfare go after him. Whether he likes it or not, the government will be taking care of you and baby *trust me no judgement in this comment* so him paying into them a LITTLE bit really won't hurt... especially if your also lying and he's living with u...

He sounds very manipulative to put you in a situation where you could lose your assistance, your and your new babies security. Do not do this to yourself. Be honest with your worker... if you really feel you need to lie to protect him from child support, the best story you can give is that it's a one night stand. But, than you can't give baby his name. So I would explain it to him simply either baby gets your name.. or he pays welfare.

Kathyoconnell2010 - posted on 07/21/2012

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if he isnt willing to pay then dont put his name on the birth cert. give her your last name and put your foot down he cant have it every way. your the one who would be putting a false first name dwn and you will encour the penalties if found out not him. i wud stick to the one night stand story or tell him if he wants her to have his name then he has to pay child support

Firebird - posted on 07/21/2012

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Look into a legal shared custody arrangement. It can have a big impact on how much child support your boyfriend will have to pay.

Firebird - posted on 07/20/2012

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Fraudulently filling out government forms is a federal offense that could land you and your boyfriend in jail. Does he realize this? If you and your boyfriend both have legal shared custody of the child he *might* not be required to pay child support. I'm not entirely sure on that one, you would have to look up the laws in ontario.

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