parents in law

Dana - posted on 07/25/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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What is wrong with my parents in law? They haven't come to see my baby who is now nine months old, even once. My mother in law goes to garage sales and sends box after box of somebody's old stuff to my baby, but she is not interested in seeing her in person. They live only five hours away from us and travel all the time, so why can't they come to see us? My husband has made it clear they are welcome any time, but they always have an excuse.
They do not like me, that much is obvious. Everything was still all right when we got married, but then slowly things started to go wrong. It's mostly been deliberate misunderstanding from their part. I don't know what to do. My baby deserves to have grandparents in her life!

5 Comments

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Sarah - posted on 07/26/2009

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my boyfriends family is the same way. Colbie is 8 months old and they have never come to see her and they live only 20 minutes away. they didnt even come to the hospital when she was born which was a HUGE deal breaker for me as far as respecting them as her grandparents. We just brought Colbie to their house last weekend for the first time in 3 months because my mother-in-law decided to call me a "piece of garbage" on my first mother's day. and then when we got there she refused to hold her because colbie "doesn't know her". In 8 months i think Colbie has only seen my boyfriends family about 6 or 7 times and i dont think any of those times were we invited, my boyfriend just felt like we needed to bring colbie to see them. I have never received a call from them to see how she is doing either, except when she was born and by the end of the phone call i was informed they would not drive the 20 minutes to see her.

Bridget - posted on 07/25/2009

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Sounds like you need to take a road trip! We have the same situation with my Husbands grandparents.....I was 2 months pregnant when we got married and they said "they would love the baby anyways"! Well lucky for them I am making them eat those words and no matter how much they don't like me or the decisions my husband and I have made I make sure to bring the baby over ALL THE TIME! I know you have a drive to get to your in-laws so I suggest calling them to schedule a few weekends you can go visit. Also, I had to stop calling and just showing up bc they blew us off for a month. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you. Babies do need their grandparents and I think the grandparents really need the babies.

Stephanie - posted on 07/25/2009

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It's only my father in law who doesn't call or visit. It's been 3 months and he has only seen my son twice and he only lives an hour and a half away. All my other in laws are wonderful though. I believe that all babies deserve to have their grandparents in their lives, but if the grandparent isn't all that interested, then they don't deserve to have their grandchild in their life. I will make the effort when my son's granddad does... until then, we'll just carry on the way we have been going!

Momma - posted on 07/25/2009

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my in laws are the same and they are right next door. they feel that if my daughter wants to see them, we know where they are at. they have made it clear that they dont care if they see her or not.

Kylie - posted on 07/25/2009

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hey i know how you feel, My parents in law are pretty much the same except they only live 45 mins down the road. If we take the kids to see them they are so over the top with gifts and food and awww this is so wonderful i love these kids so much blah blah bs. But they can go a month without a call and probably average a visit for a few hours every 6 weeks or so. i think it's really sad as they are lovely people but they are just lazy, She used to call me up ears ago and ask to have my daughter for the weekend. I would mostly make up excuses why she couldn't stay because the truth was i knew she didn't know my daughter very well plus they both smoke inside and the spare room smells like a bar. The only bit of advice she has ever given me about my kids is never to bring them to my bed and that its OK to let them cry... two things that i have done the opposite to. I suppose my parents make up for the in-law grandies. My mum and dad visit twice a week and have my daughter for a sleep over one night a week they take the kids to the park and pool and run around with them. they know my children so well and enjoy them immensely.

5 hours is a pretty long drive, maybe you could scedule a couple of weekend stay overs and perhaps you could video call them with the kids. also maybe if you write to your mother in law once a month include photos etc she may realize what she is missing and see you are making the effort to bring the family closer. Your right children deserve to have their grandparents in their life, its so important.

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