Paying Grandma?

Jessica - posted on 06/08/2009 ( 31 moms have responded )

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What are your views on paying grandma to watch their grandchild?

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Jessica - posted on 06/09/2009

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Thanks everyone. We figured out a solution to the issue last night and everyone seems to think it will work out well. Since my sister, who still lives at home, and my mom both watch my daughter throughout the day, depending on what errands they are running, they will split what I pay for the week accordingly.

Jamie - posted on 06/08/2009

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It depends are you talking like Mon-Fri so you can work? or occasionally to like have anight out? IF its Mon-Fri yes I think you should pay them, if its just on occasion and they dont ask, I say not. But its still nice to do things. Like Ill buy my mom a bottle of champange and my dad some chocolate. Just to show my appreciation.

Jessica - posted on 06/08/2009

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Thanks everyone for your comments and insights. I'm hoping to have a heart-to-heart with my mother this evening. Hopefully we can get this resolved amicably.

Erin - posted on 06/08/2009

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thankfully for me my mother watches my son every weekend and instead of paying her i usually get her dinner or do her grocery shopping while i am baby free. it has seemed to be a very good trade off for the both of us and much less expensive then paying an actual babysitter

Cristina - posted on 06/08/2009

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My mother-in-law watches my 8month old 2 days a week and always refuses payment! I feel guilty because it is such a commitment. We are constantly asking, making sure the arrangement is still OK. We provide all of the food and formula and clothes. I still feel kind of funny about it though.

Natasha - posted on 06/08/2009

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It depends on which set of grandparents are babysitting for me. My mom has to travel about 30min to get to my house so i pay for her gas some times. She never asks for money. She mostly only babysits if we are going out of town so if she needs something i get it for her and she doesn't have to pay me back. My husbands parents live in the same town and will never babysit for more then a couple hours at a time so we don't give them anything.

Shannon - posted on 06/08/2009

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i think that if a grandparent is looking after a grandchild occasionally than there is no reason to pay them...... but if a grandparent is looking after the grandchild constantly (like while the parents are working full time) then they should be compensated (either with money or services..... like cleaning or yard work)

Holly - posted on 06/08/2009

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I think that ,that is so crazy .why in the world would grandparents want to be paid for watching there own grandchildren ?They should want to speend time with them ,i agree with Heather maybe from time to time help them out ,like if your gone on a small vacation and leave some $ for extra things or grocreys ......MY mom would never ask me to pay her to watch her (my kids)grandchildren ,on the other hand my step mom would and she did charge for hours that she had them ,she says its respectiful to !well good luck .

Heather - posted on 06/08/2009

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I think it's ridiculous. Is this Grandparent losing income in order to watch your children? If so, maybe a little monetary compensation wouldn't hurt, just to show gratitude. However, grandparents shouldn't be charging their children to watch their own grandchildren. On basic principle, I would take my child to a daycare or put them in preschool early. I wouldn't want my child growing up thinking the only way Grandma and Grandpa would spend time with them is if Mommy and Daddy paid them to do so.

Glendeen - posted on 06/08/2009

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Well I think that it depends on if its grandma time/sleepover or if its more like child care. If she is taking care of the kids for a work day then I would offer .. some granparents wont even accept. But if its quality grandma time or letting mom and dad have a date night then no way : )

Ashley - posted on 06/08/2009

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I had this same problem well not really problem but situation. When I first had my daughter when we would get a babysitter it was only for 2 hours at the most. We would either use either of the grandmas, aunts, or I have a friend who has 2 kids and we always watch each others kids as favors. I asked if anyone wanted expected money because I didn't want anyone to feel like I was taking advantage of them. No one wanted money. Like some one else said they are relatives you think they would want to spend time with the kid.

Lindsay - posted on 06/08/2009

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My mother will not take money for watching her grandkids. Although, it's not that often that she babysits. They go to daycare and she usually takes them for a weekend a month so me and daddy can have a break and actually go out and do something together. She does it because she likes to spend the quality time with them. She knows how much we appreciate it, but she won't let us pay her a penny. My MIL isn't as willing to watch them. She loves them but it just isn't her thing. She prefers us visiting for a couple of hours each week. She doesn't want us to pay but is the last person we ask because she just doesn't have the desire for the one on one time like my mom does. Every family is different and every grandparent is different. You just have to figure out what works for yours!

Helen - posted on 06/08/2009

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my sister in law looks after my little boy 5 days a week while i work. we pay her but only £80 a week which is anbout 1/3 of what i would have to pay a nursery + she takes him out swimming etc at least 3 days a week.

Amber - posted on 06/08/2009

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I definately agree with you guys that there is a big difference between a night here and there or things like that and watching your child while you work 40 hours a week.

T_cjones108 - posted on 06/08/2009

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my mother would charge me to watch my boy! my mother inlaw on the other hand will not take money for it! i asked them to watch my boy over night for my sisters bday and told her i would pay her she said no prob i would love to watch him! so when she came over to have some bbq and pick my boy up i went to give her money ($20) and she was offended! lol and would not take to money! she said its my grandson and i dont want your money, spend it on him :D i think if your going to party or just have a night off or to work you should pay a bit, but i think they should just do it because they know what it takes to rais a kid :) good luck hun

Leaha - posted on 06/08/2009

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My mom has always watched my daughter for me so I could go back to work. She's never asked for payment, but she does complain that my older sister is always calling her to go do something for her boys or pick them up from school, take them to ball practice ect. I've always taken her groceries in payment for caring for my daughter and she has always been very thankful towards me. My sister takes advantage of "grandma" and I appreciate her caring for my daughter. If it wasn't for my mother, there is no way I could afford to work and pay for childcare. I never ask my mom to take my daughter over night, but she does volunteer every now and then, wich is nice. I guess that's the diffrence between my sister and I. My sister takes advantage and I appreciate...

Amanda - posted on 06/08/2009

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in the UK its cheaper to get a registered childminder to look afteryou child as in a lot of cases you can claim back chilcare costs. having said that i live with my mum and get regular lie-ins and sometimes baby-free nights! mand x

Eve - posted on 06/08/2009

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I agree with Christy! I mean its ridiculous to pay grandparents to watch your kids. You can always offer but like Tanya said my Mom would never exept it either!

I live in diferent country than my family so when i go back to my country my Mom is looking after me same as i'm looking after her when she comes over to me. Sure i always try to pay for shopping or something but she usually wont let me and same in the other way. My Mom cant wait to watch our child and even my Auntie is looking forward to have our little angel for holiday.

I know its diferent when you have your family around and they watchin your kid on regural basis in comparision to live miles away and grandparents can have your kid only for holiday or something. But i think it depends on people really.

[deleted account]

Our parents would babysit with the drop of a hat for FREE, they wouldnt ever ask money from us, but we have tried. It just means a better christmas present, lol

Susan - posted on 06/08/2009

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My mom wanted payment with my 1st child. I told her then I'll just have my mother-in-law or sister-in-law watch him. She changed her mind. But if she doesn't then I would not pay her as much as out side daycare or suggest taking her to lunch once a week or pay her by the day not hourly. I do think that they should watch them because they are family, but sometimes family can be the worst to work with.

Amber - posted on 06/08/2009

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If grandma is watching your child while you work and you would normally pay for child care if they weren't then why wouldn't you pay. My mom watches my son while I work and I pay her almost $200 more a month than I would pay for childcare, because I feel blessed that she watches him and not someone that is not family and doesn't love him the way she does. I know his care is much better and she is much more willing to do things they way that I like than a daycare. I feel blessed and I pay her a lot to show my appreciation she does not demand it, but she is much happier doing it knowing how much I appreciate it. Everyone enjoys doing things more when they feel appreciated and really we get paid for our time to work and taking care of a child is work so why wouldn't you pay anyone to do it.

[deleted account]

HI! =o) my mom watches my 5 year old once a week over night. She has been this since my daughter. She picks the day since she's doing us the favor. If she can't do it one week, we just pay more for day care. It I need her to take her or watch her on a turn of the hat, normally she does. We don't pay her but I do pay for her cellphone that is on our plan (so I can call her if my daughter is sick and needs to be picked up). We have taken her out to dinner a couple of times to say thank you but never actually pay her.

Tonya - posted on 06/08/2009

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It doesn't hurt to offer, but I now my mom wouldn't accept it. Atleast u can say u tried and that's all u can really do.

Brittany - posted on 06/08/2009

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It depends, if grandma asks and voulunteers because they want to spend time with her grandkids, then no. If the parents of the children asked grandma to so they could work or something, then yes.

Christy - posted on 06/08/2009

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I think it is ridiculous to pay a grandparent to watch their own grandchild. My mother in law charged us to watch our daughter while we were working. I only work 2 days a week and she still charged us. She knew that we couldnt afford it...because she charged us sooo much, but if we said we couldnt pay she would become irrate and threaten to stop watching our daughter. In my family, no one has ever charged to watch the children. Its just unheard of.

Becki - posted on 06/08/2009

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i had the same situation when my first daughter was an infant. auntie started out watching her (and being paid to do so, not much but still paid). then we found out she was keeping the cash and grandma was babysitting. we stopped paying her and started paying grandma. the payment, in grandma's eyes, may be a way of saying thank you. it may not be about the money at all but her not feeling taken advantage of.If $10 a week is all you can afford pay it to her. or offer some service for her, do her grocery shopping each week. family is all about give and take :)

Devon - posted on 06/08/2009

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if they are watching there own grandchildren then you shouldn't have to pay them, they should do it without money being that it is family. but if the children aren't related then they should get paid.

Jessica - posted on 06/08/2009

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Thanks for the posts. The situation started out as my youngest sister, who still lives at home, watching my daughter, but it's turned into grandma watching her... I'm of the mind that she should be happy to watch her granddaughter free of charge. If it was her only source of income, I'd be more than happy to pay her.

Becki - posted on 06/08/2009

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any one performing any service deserves compensation for doing so. now since you are talking about grandma you two should be able to come to an amount that makes you both comfortable and happy. it should be cheaper then a daycare but she does deserve compensation.

[deleted account]

That sounds a bit strange, as most grandparents would usually offer to babysit or spend more time with the grandchildren. But it could work out cheaper than daycare if it means going back to work or something like that, I suppose it depends if you're happy to pay and the grandparent is happy to be paid then it could work!

Emily - posted on 06/08/2009

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In the state of Louisiana they actually started a program for helping pay Grandmother's of the children who are watching them...As for my personal opinion, it's situation based. My mother demanded payment and when I was unable to pay her as soon as she liked, she threaten to stop watching my kids at the drop of a hat. And several times she would leave me w/ no where to turn. I think it's a duty but if she expects payment, then it should not be no where near what you are paying for outside daycare...I though they were to supposed to WANT to do it...not mine! Maybe yall can come to some kind of agreement! Good Luck with that one!

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