Please tell me he will grow up!

Ashley - posted on 07/22/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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my fiancé and I have 3 children together, 2 of them are under the age of 3 and the oldest is 8. I am a stay at home mom but usually work Sunday evenings as a waitress. my fiancé works from 7am to about 4pm for a labours union. Our weeks are very hectic especially in the summer due to my fiancés 'schedules'...he plays softball, he promised it would only be a 2-3 times a week type thing for a couple hours. it has turned into just about every night of the week including tournaments on weekends! I have tried speaking to him about it, since afterall I am home with them all day, and now all night alone as well. I get the feeling as if he just doesn't respect what I do because his response is, 'it's who I am, if you don't like it leave'.i feel like at his age, 26, he should be a little more mature acting than what he is. He rubs in my face that I don't make any money and that he pays all of the bills. Whenever I do ask him to help me with something, for example, the other night we had just gotten into bed and I heard my youngest crying, which means he just wants a bottle and he will go back to sleep, he said,'Elijah is awake', so I responded with 'okay, he probably just wants a bottle and he'll fall back asleep', he then said 'um are you serious? Okay your majesty' (one of the many names I get called when I ask him to do things, along with 'boss' and 'master')but got up and did it anyways. He then came back into the room all pissed off saying he does everything and he gets up for work and I never have to get up as early as him blah blah blah, it just makes me SO angry to think that every night of the week he spends it with his teammates playing softball and by the time he gets to see us, the kids are already in bed and I'm miserable bc I'm basically an only parent while he goes off to live his teenage dream! I wouldn't mind once or twice a week, but this is now his life,going to work, rushing home, spending probably an hour with us as a family sometimes even if that, then goes to his game (sometimes more than one in a night) then comes home to sleep. I just dont see how he will ever grow up, but according to him I 'bitch' about it too much. I just feel as though he should be making family time a priority.

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Cassy - posted on 07/24/2012

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You need to try to have an adult sit down talk with this guy, Thank god you haven't married him yet. Make a list of things that make you feel like you are unappreciated, and tell him. Tell him why you feel unappreciated. Things like... :I feel unappreciated at home because I do all the house work, take care of the kids, etc, and when you come home, you make me feel like nothing but a maid or roommate. I have had many conversations like this with my husband. It has taken us a long time to get to where we are, but we are much better. Maybe even take yourself and the kids to your parents house or a friends house that will help you a bit for a while. Then maybe he will see that you really do a lot more then he thinks you do. I would NOT marry him until he shapes up for good. Not just for you kids, (God forbid... Can you think of the trauma he would cause them poor things?) but for your sanity too. Mom needs to be happy too. A Happy mom means a happy life.

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Lauren - posted on 07/22/2012

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I face similar issues! Me and my boyfriend have two daughters together aged 5 and 18 months. My boyfriend works all day while i take care of the girls, which don't get me wrong i love but it's hard! You just want him to take some responsibility which he refuses to do, he works all day and then when is home he is "to tired" to do anything. If our kids cry in the middle of night that falls into my job. I still breastfeed our 18 month old and because of that he feels like he cannot do anything for her because i have the boobs! It's hard to be unappreciated! I love him to death and out family but i just want him to see what i do, because i do realize what he does! If you ever want to talk please feel free to message me and/or ask for more information!

♥ Lauren!

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