Preschool Bulleying

Jennifer - posted on 09/12/2013 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I learned today that my 3 & 1/2 year old daughter is being bullied by other children at her preschool. The teacher informed me that she won't defend herself when another child takes a toy from her and won't tell the teacher when something happens. I want to teach her to stick up for herself without being violent but I'm really at a loss of what to do. She's so incredibly sweet natured and shy, I want to help build her confidence and learn to assert herself. Any advice?

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Jennifer - posted on 09/14/2013

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She really stood up for herself yesterday! The teacher told me that a child tried to take a toy from her again and this time she stood her ground and told the child that "i had it first!" And that was that. I felt so proud of her, we'll just keep encouraging her and keeping it fresh and stay in close communication with her teacher from now on. Thank you for the advice!

Pauline Jessica - posted on 09/14/2013

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You need to explain to your children that what is happening to them is not right, and if a another child or children are bullying them, and taking things of them, then they need to either tell the kids to leave them alone or to try and reason with the child who took the toy of them by saying they were playing with it first and when they are done they will give it to the next child to play with and if they are still to shy or scared to say something then they need to tell the teacher straight away whats going on and explain that, there is nothing wrong with letting the teacher no whats going on. And if the bullying was still happening after the teacher being informed then its up to you to talk to the other child's parents and let them no whats been going on and how you and your children feel.

Jennifer - posted on 09/13/2013

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Well, my husband and I talked with her in the evening yesterday and explained to her what was going on and why it was bad. She really seemed to understand and was really into it. We did some role playing to help her know what to say and do in certain situations and she was pretty geared up about that. :-) The teacher has promised to keep me informed. The wierd thing is, she never showed any signs that there was something wrong so I totally missed it. She loves going to school, she seems so happy there and has lots of friends, and most of the time when I come to pick her up, she's having so much fun that she doesn't want to leave right away! She had been acting out at home a little and getting more time outs for not listening to me and my husband, I thought it was just a part of her budding independence but I should have been more sensitive to the change and investigated sooner. Anyway, thank you for your input, it feels good to have someone out there who understands!

Amanda - posted on 09/12/2013

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You're kidding!? That is so sad :-( . I really hope things get better for her. It's so hard since she doesn't really understand what's happening.

Jennifer - posted on 09/12/2013

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Thank you for the advice, that really helps. I just couldn't believe it when I heard it, because they are so young! There is a little girl that my daughter always talks about playing with and calls her best friend, then the teacher tells me she is her worst offender. That was probably the worst part.

Amanda - posted on 09/12/2013

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Wow! That's a hard one. And these kids are WAY TOO YOUNG to be acting like this! I guess the parents aren't teaching their kids to share. But what you can do is just sit her down and talk to her. Just tell her that when this happens she needs to inform the teacher because that behavior isn't nice. I kniw how hard it is to try and explain something like this to a 3 1/2 year old, but just try and use words that she will understand. I had to do that with my older 2, it workes better with my son than my daughter.....she's going to be 7 and still has bully issues. Good luck and I hope things get better.

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