Probably stupid question but please help

Shannon - posted on 06/21/2010 ( 73 moms have responded )

102

55

3

ok I was just wondering when the attachment/clingy stage starts lol...my daughter is 7 months old and really isn't attached to me at all...she is just happy as can be no matter who is watching/holding her...I love that she loves other people, but I just wish that she would have a little bit of attachment to me. She always smiles and stuff when she sees me and everything she just doesn't care who is holding her

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Lauren - posted on 06/23/2010

8

0

4

Hi Shannon,

It sounds like your daughter is socially intelligent. Although it isn't to nice for you right now . . . it is brilliant for your daughter in the long run. Children that are social are more liked by other people which helps their self confidence which is a huge must. They are like more at school and cope better.

Also, she is getting many different views on life . . . no ones view is completely right so it is great that she is being exposed to many different people and views. She will become "street wise" which is great for adulthood.

Good luck!!

Lauren.
xoxox

Stina - posted on 06/21/2010

1,055

19

108

The separation anxiety stage is usually around 10 mo.

However, some babies are just so very secure in their caregivers love that they don't have as much or any anxiety when other people hold them. My youngest never went through the separation anxiety like her brother and sister did and this is what a friend at church told me.

Christina - posted on 06/24/2010

172

25

5

My son is 7 months and is also like that. I actually enjoy the fact that he isn't mommy clingy. It gives me the chance to go out on my own, or with my hubby, and know that he isn't going to scream the whole time. Relax and enjoy!

Laura - posted on 06/24/2010

10

113

0

My kids didnt really go through the clingy stage. They were friendly with people they knew or if they saw it was someone my husband or i knew, then they knew it was okay to talk to them. My kids are very friendly but they know not to talk to strangers. The only time they ever went through the clingy stage a little bit was when i had major surgery. My kids were 2 and 4 when i had surgery and for a month, they didnt see me or my husband, they got to see us off and on but it was a couple weeks for sure that they were with their grandparents. That was hard for us and them, so i guess they were a little clingy after that but not for too long. If you have a happy girl, no need to worry... :)

Marina - posted on 06/24/2010

1

13

0

Oh honey, you are one LUCKY mom! Enjoy the fact that she is not totally attached to you, it's so difficult to do anything around the house when all they want is for you to hold them all day long!!! My daughter is 8 month now and I think it started about a month ago so I think it's coming! Relax while you can:) Cheers

73 Comments

View replies by

Theresa - posted on 08/10/2010

207

36

12

you should be thankfulll lol its alot easier but my daughter didnt start being attached to me intill she started teething she'll want you to comfort her when her gums hurt thats how my daughter is

Brittany - posted on 08/10/2010

8

46

0

My son will be 2 in November he has never met a stranger I think it is a good thing that they are that way. Would you rather have a happy laughing baby or a mad crying one? When my son did the same thing it made me really want to cry :D

Lisa - posted on 08/10/2010

19

15

0

I used to think my son wasn't attached to me either but recently at playgroup he would leave me to explore and then come back for about 5 seconds before going off in another direction. The woman that runs it said its a sign that he is a confident child. Happy to be off exploring doing his own thing but will still check in with me.
He goes to care once a week for a couple of hrs too, and he is happy without me which makes it easy to leave him - it would be hard to leave him there if he was crying and upset about it.
The more playgroups and daycare we have done the more he shows affection to me at home as well.... But still, when dad gets home its mum who??!!!

Kendra - posted on 07/05/2010

12

26

1

Believe it or not, this is actually a good thing. It's obvious that she loves you and likes to be around you but she's also very friendly to others. Independence is a much better quality to have when she starts daycare and school because she won't cry and throw a tantrum when she has to go. She'll be excited about it and she'll want to go and want to do well.

Michelle - posted on 07/04/2010

5

2

0

Just be patient and enjoy this time when she is wanting to go everywhere with you then it will get on your nerves. Really it will just imagne going to the bathroom and her she comes or trying to have some alone time with the hubby she will cling to you and you will wish she never did.

Alisha - posted on 06/28/2010

210

43

17

lol its alright. . all children are different i ahve 3. . almost 4, 2.5 and 8months. My oldest was the same as our daughter, which it also upset me as i wanted to feel extra special well my second child is a mama's girl which is nice but omg its not always nice! Be thankful she is more outgoing and you and her will ahve a special bond don't worry about that. I ahve a special bond with all 3, different for each but vary special. there are times i wish that someone lese can sooth my daughter but like i said she is a mamas girl and it can be hard at times

Shaunte - posted on 06/28/2010

14

35

0

o sweetie dont u worry about the little one being attached! i have have two girls, one eight and one six, and both of them were the complete opposite of eachother's personalities. but they both have their moments when they fight for my sole attention lol. it feels good to be wanted, but be careful what you wish for! i cant even go out for a few hours with the ladies without at least one of them confessing their dying need for me to stay home instead. :)
each little personality is different. just be happy you have a child that you can enjoy having a little mommy time with. it will get better the older she gets.

Cassandra - posted on 06/28/2010

18

19

2

My boys were both fine until they each turned two. Then they could voice their opinion and would tell me I don't want you to go to work and stay mommy stay! Draconis would go to anyone and still does, but he wants to come back after one hug or kiss. Every kiddo is different but trust me not listening to a baby scream and cry when you leave the house is a blessing.

Alyssa - posted on 06/28/2010

10

12

0

It is not a bad thing that your little girls is not clingy so do and some dont. Mine get that way when they are sick or when there is change and they do not know how to hadle it. No worry's all is good:)

Amy-andrews85 - posted on 06/28/2010

22

50

1

my son is clingy but that only happens when he is poorly or when i am pregnant.
my little girl has always been for me and no one else.
but every child is different

Michelle - posted on 06/28/2010

936

32

134

My daughter started getting clingy around a year. She has to be with me when we are in a new situation and even around people she knows at times. As much as I love those moments (because at home she's rather just run around and play with her toys, the dog or stare at her fish) it would be nice to go to a family member's house and not have her glued to me for the first hour or so! She's now 18 months and her shy/clingy behaviour is showing no signs of leaving any time soon!

Chrystal - posted on 06/28/2010

17

13

1

Some dont go thourgh the clingy stage... My almost 1 yr old is NOT clingy unless she is sick...otherwise she is just happy to be on her own

Carly - posted on 06/28/2010

220

24

10

I don't mean this to sound nasty, but I think that's kinda daft. Your daughter obvioulsy loves you more than anyone else in the world! Your her mother and the bond between mother and child is immense. Your daughter obviously is a little social butterfly and enjoys being in other peoples company. I bet when she's older she'll be outgoing, confident and a wonderful person to be around. What's the matter with that? You should be proud your daughter is a happy little bunny & alot of women can't do one thing as there kids are so clingy. Be thankful your daughter can be settled and happy in the enviroment of others, that means you can get a little break now and again!

Angela - posted on 06/28/2010

18

27

0

With me daughter it started around the 1 year point, and she just turned 2 and is more attached to me and my husband then ever. She was close to a year before she let me rock in the rocking chair, and once those moments come they are more presious even then .

Nqobile - posted on 06/28/2010

14

21

1

I think your daughter is one of those baby's who are free spirited.I am sure that she knows that you are her mommy and you are always there or you are going to come back at any time.Don't warry,I think it is her personality,thats all.ha ha ha ha

Shannon - posted on 06/28/2010

10

2

0

Consider yourself lucky. lol My daughter is 15 months old and will not let me go to the bathroom alone. She is clingy alot. She will leave me and play alone too. But she used to be clingy toward my fiance(her father), but now its with me. It really depends on the child. You lucked out and have a really independent baby.

Crystal - posted on 06/28/2010

432

44

24

my daughter is 3yrs old now and wasnt clingy except when she is sick i am so glad she wasnt ever clingy one of my good friends her baby was clingy it drove me nuts when i use to babysit her and i only keep her 2 days a week i quit watching her because she cried if u werent holding her or there with her

Tarina - posted on 06/28/2010

192

50

13

She knows who her mom is :) Just wait til the first time she's sick and you are the ONLY person she will let near her!! It grows with time. Be glad she is so comfortable with others, it lets you get a break! I have also been lucky like this, my son always went to other people when he was younger, now he's 18 months and it takes a bit longer to warm up to strangers but he is still very outgoing and independent. On the other side, my brother in law's daughters were both SO clingy, noone could touch them or hold them or even look at them if they were paying attention cuz they would just cry and cry and cry!! As great as it may feel to be needed that much... I would have gone insane!! :) Congrats to you for raising such an independent young girl! And remember, no matter who she may or may not let you hand her to, You'll always be her mommy ♥

Tanya - posted on 06/27/2010

1

20

0

hey . . my daughter who is now 3 never really went through a clingy stage as i had to put in her in day care one day a week at 2 and a half months old and by 6months old it was for 3 days a week and i think she was just comfortable around them so she neva cared when i left and wasnt overly happy to see me when i picked her up either and she would go to and talk to just about any1 but my son mitchell who is 9 months is really clingy and iv been with him all the time as a stay at home mum a huge shock but i think its best not to be overly clingy anyway shows that they comfortable with surroundings and that mum wont go far.

Kristina - posted on 06/27/2010

82

69

10

for some it starts close to a year and for others it never starts. All kids are happy as long as parents are in sight and some dont care either way.

Lindsay - posted on 06/27/2010

12

32

1

Trust me, it's probably a good thing that she's not clingy..... it makes it a pain when you want to go somewhwere!

Cassie - posted on 06/27/2010

115

35

10

I understand EXACTLY what you are saying. I longed for my daughter to "need" me when she was an infant. But she was happy in anyones arms. I got my wish and quickly took it back haha. Around 11 months she turned extremely clingy. Following me around with her hands in the air saying "up up" when I left the room she would cry and it was all very stressful. Enjoy the peaceful baby now, because they change quicly and grow too fast. Good luck love.

Rhiannon - posted on 06/27/2010

230

9

24

Sorry Shannon, but she may never be clingy! My first is only going a bit clingy now (he will be 2 in 2 days) and that is only if someone he doesn't know is talking to him. My 2nd couldn't care less who is holding her, so long as she is getting cuddled! She is just over 9 months old.

Tammee - posted on 06/27/2010

76

24

5

My first didn't really go through a clingy stage but my daughter has since she was 6 months. I was told by my mid wife of number 3 (expecting in oct)that the 'average' is about the 8 month mark but every child is different. Just enjoy the little bit of freedom I say...lol

Amanda - posted on 06/27/2010

2

21

0

My son is almost 9 and never went through that clingy stage....very independent from early on (look at it that way and don't mistake it for them not caring enough). =)

Maureen - posted on 06/27/2010

16

26

3

dont feel bad! my daughter was like that but the only let me disappear for a while she will b where is mommy! tthe older she gets she wants to know where i am 24 7! she is 4 yrs!

[deleted account]

my son will be 10 months on tuesday and he has never liked being held or cuddled unless he is sick. some babies just aren't as cuddly as others. he has started being a bit more clingy in the past month or so though. he climbs my leg and whines whenever i don't pay attention to him.

Yasmine - posted on 06/27/2010

11

5

1

my baby boy, was the same as your daughter, but at the age of 9 months, he started being clingy, he refuses to let his own father carry him, your baby is such a sweet heart, but trust me sooner or later she will be as the same as my son, hope u the best

Beth - posted on 06/27/2010

1

49

0

It'll happen and then she may be so clingy that you'd wish she'd never gotten to that stage...lol it's not a silly question.

Ashleigh - posted on 06/27/2010

352

19

107

From what I was told the attachment/sep anxiety usually is from 9-12months. My son started it when I went back to work at 2 months. He would scream almost the whole time I was at work. He is still very attached and is almost 2, but I think that's because I'm about the only person he's around, my hubby works 50-60 hours a week. Enjoy a little bit of the freedom that comes without separation anxiety.

Lian - posted on 06/27/2010

1

25

0

my little boy is 13 month old and he has only just started at the clingy stage yeah my lad used to be like that it will come

Brittany - posted on 06/27/2010

1

0

0

Be happy she didnt go through the clingy stage all of my boys did and my one year old is going through it bad right now . I cant leave the room or put him down for 5 secs to use the bathroom without him crying . Atfirst it was cute 3 months later I cant even take a shower without him taking a nap lol . You want them to be clingy until they hit that stage then you wanna just run away lol

Jami - posted on 06/26/2010

33

32

4

My son is 8 months old and we have just hit that stage. His pediatrician said that it would hit about 9 months. He isnt really like that with his dad, but right now he is all about mommy. If i am cleaning the house and walk by him in his swing he will cry, he has started crying when family members are holding him.

Melanie - posted on 06/26/2010

6

14

0

My son never really had that, he was usually content with whomever held him. The only instance I saw it was after his dad left, I think he would get nervous I would leave too. But, I wouldn't worry about it, they know who their momma' is!! ha ha.

Olivia - posted on 06/26/2010

4

30

0

my daughter was like that.. NOW that shes almost two she wants to be clingy lol

Andrea - posted on 06/26/2010

11

28

0

Well im not sure but I have twin boys that are 5 months and both of them like to be held, by me my husband, and my parents and some other people I think it depends on the baby. My babies are kinda like your daughter they love to be held by people of corse it might be because they were premature and for the longest time we couldnt hold them.

Jessica - posted on 06/26/2010

32

21

4

my son didn't get super clingy really ever. he never developed stranger anxiety and he goes through little moments where he'll want me, but then he'll want my husband. but for the most part, he really doesnt care who's holding him

April - posted on 06/26/2010

16

51

0

My son didn't start the clingy stage til he was 1 and he still has really bad attachment issues and he is over 2. It takes awhile for him to warm up to people. My daughter on the other hand never went through it and she is four. I think it all depends on the child and their personality

Lauren - posted on 06/26/2010

109

11

12

This is a great topic!! About a month ago when I went to lay my 10 month old daughter down in her crib like I do every night, she flipped out, crying and screaming. It was so unlike her that I figured she must have been feeling bad, but I checked everything. She didn't have any teeth breaking through, no diaper rash, no gas, no fever, she wasn't hungry. I finally rocked her to sleep. The next day everything was fine until I went to lay her down. I guess that she finally realized that I was leaving the room after I put her to bed and as soon as she couldn't see me she starts screaming. Its been over a month and I'm still dealing with this. She is fine as long as I'm right there with her, and the problem is only when I lay her down for a nap. I hope that this gets better soon. Forgot to mention that now she will only let her dad and I hold her. I guess the clingy stage is here and its here with a vengeance. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. Its about to drive me crazy.

Melissa - posted on 06/26/2010

90

28

6

My son Just turned 10 months and he's been doing it for a little over a month now.

Sharna - posted on 06/26/2010

14

46

2

my son was really the same as ur little girl, up until i would say about 12-13 months. he still loves other people, but now he looks for me and wants to know im still there. he also crawls over to me alot, just for a cuddle, then goes and plays again (he is almost 15 months).

i wouldnt worry too much, she knows u r her mum and it sounds like she has a great placid and happy personality. thats all thanks to u!!!

Tamara - posted on 06/26/2010

89

6

12

my daughter is 19mths and is very clingy and dosnt go to other people not even her dad its very hard.

Haley - posted on 06/25/2010

8

27

0

that start about 8 months. my little girl is almost 9 months old and you don't want that stage to start. really. I can walk five feet in front of her walking away from her and she freaks out. when they look at you and smile thats attachment. they know who u are. Don't worry it'll start soon enough.

Jennifer - posted on 06/25/2010

4

28

0

I felt the same way when my son was that age. he is 22ths now and sometimes he cries and wants me when i drop him off and other days he waves at me and tells me bye! I think eventually you'll see the attachment but i figure that your daughter obviously knows you're coming back and is content. Once they start crying when you leave it's heartbreaking! Don't worry things will all work out the way they are supposed to!

Elimar - posted on 06/25/2010

43

8

4

Shannon,

I know exactly what you mean, the baby being so independent, not caring who picks her up or even who takes care of her, it feels like, that "bond", that everyone says,happens after birth, never happened... My oldest son, is that way. If he had the opportunity to do it, he would love to get to know every single individual in the world. He'll smile at you, even flirt with you (that is if you are a woman, or a girl). But I realized something about him... He know who his father and mother is, he goes to us when he needs us. Like for example he uses daddy to console him when he has had a nightmare, and he uses mommy to cuddle and caress him.

My youngest, is different from that, he clings onto me everytime... It is sometimes a pain, especially when I am ready to go to bed. He wants to be with me and only me, just to play.... at 11:00 in the night. I put him on his crib, and if I take just one step back he will start crying. Yeah, it is really not a lot of fun, even though it gives you the confidence that your child wants you, and loves you a lot. Still it is not easy to deal with a child like that.

Juli - posted on 06/25/2010

227

135

53

Don't worry Shannon. Every child has their own personality. My son was the same way ( all about visiting with everyone). My daughter on the other hand throws a fit if I leave her in a room that has some one else in it that isn't her dad or brother or me. Here lately she wont go more than a few feet from me if I have friends over.

Danielle - posted on 06/25/2010

915

38

42

Oh...it'll come. My son is 14 months old and now I can't go out of his sight.

Sherilynn - posted on 06/24/2010

22

3

0

I don't think you have nothing to worry about. She's just a happy baby and she will get to that point when she's stuck to your hip.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms