Right to be mad or being Childish ?

Candy - posted on 08/04/2014 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My boyfriends oldest daughter, 17, is upset that I am pregnant with baby #2. His mom, her grandma told ne that she's not mad at him but at me. She has barely began (a few months ago) to interact nd acknowledge my 15 month old daughter (her baby sister). I think that that is being childish.
She has told people that she doesn't care that I am pregnant nd wants nothing to do with the baby.
I don't know why she is reacting thus way, me nd her dad have been involved with eachother fir 7 years.
Its like if his kids have a problem with him moving on with his life but okay for their mom to.
Does she have a right to be mad or is she just being childish ?

5 Comments

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Tanya - posted on 08/10/2014

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I'm really confused here. You're boyfriend already has 2 children from 2 other mothers...and now you're pregnant with baby number 2 with him. So he has 4 children with 3 different mothers, right?

Hell, I'd be mad if I was his 17 year old too! You guys are not married...and he seems to be doing everything backwards. I would be mad at him and you. I'm sure this young girl has full or adult issues around her due to her father...I feel really bad for her.

Leela - posted on 08/09/2014

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Jodi has a point. To be 17and have a 24 year old step mom isn't the easiest thing to accept.

Jodi - posted on 08/07/2014

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I am not saying you ARE trying to replace her mother, I am saying she is FEELING put out that you are having babies with her father and you are actually only 7 years older than her. Can you not see how this may be a problem for her?

Candy - posted on 08/06/2014

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I get what you are saying by her feeling like im trying trying to replace her but that is not the case at all. We have always gotten along nd she is such a nice girl so I wad shocked when I found this out.
I forgot to mention that my boyfriend has a 5 year old that lives with his mom since she was 3½ (same residence as the oldest) from another female but doesn't have a problem accepting her. So wouldn't she have felt like she was "getting replaced" with her too?
It also doesn't help that everyone else is fine just leaving it at that. Not trying to talk to her about it nd see why she feels this way.
Its not my babies fault.

Jodi - posted on 08/05/2014

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OK, I just read another post. You are 24 years old. Now put it in perspective from her point of view. She is 17. Why do you think this probably bothers her? Yes, her mother can move on. Her mother is old enough to be her mother. You aren't. You are closer to her age than to her father's age. This is possibly something that really bothers her.

And now, to add insult to injury, you are giving him a new family and she feels you are trying to replace her. Yes, she is being childish, but have you or dad tried to actually sit down and talk to her about her feelings and why she is acting this way without putting her down for her behaviour? Don't make it a "you are in trouble" discussion but rather a "we care about your feelings and want to help" discussion.

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