SAHM vs. Working?

Angie - posted on 11/28/2010 ( 43 moms have responded )

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I am currently a working mom, but my position will soon be eliminated. I keep going back and forth whether I should get a new job or take the opportunity to stay home w/ my 15 month old son. I have worked out all the financial details and it is feasible for us to make it w/o my income....but I am concerned about a few things:
1) Will my son miss out on the social interaction he gets at daycare? He's already so shy and introverted and a huge mama's boy. I'm worried I'll only encourage that behavior more by keeping him home w/ me everyday.
2) Will I miss out on the social interaction I'm used to getting at work? I'm afraid I'll go stir crazy and want to pull my hair out.
3) Will we miss the "extra" money we had while I was employed? Right now we have quite a bit of padding financially and I worry that we'll be pinching pennies or not enjoying ourselves as much b/c of money concerns.

I keep teetering btwn the two choices (SAHM vs. Working) b/c it's such a huge decision. I've always wanted to be a SAHM. It was so hard for me to go back to work after I had my son. I've already researched classes and playgroups we can attend so we aren't trapped in the house all day long. And I've compiled an extensive list of activities we can do while we are home. But I'm still worried that it won't be enough to keep me happy....

....so I'm just looking for some advice from both parties - current SAHMs and working moms. Any insight or advice or opinions you could provide me would be great!!! Thanks!

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Nikkole - posted on 11/29/2010

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Well i said MOST kids not all there are exceptions some kids love daycare like your son and some parents are very involved but im just saying that a lot of parents abuse daycare thinking they learn everything they need to there! I have a friend who sent there daughter to kindergarten (there supposed to know how to tie there shoes now) Well she bought her velcro shoes because she dosent want to teach her to tie her shoes that made me soo mad and she Stays home all day with her kids! My son is going to preschool next year (if they accept him because he is still little) He will be 3 in December but he already knows everything like your son which i think is awesome that will make less work for his teachers and i feel i should teach him everything I can! Your son sounds like an awesome lil guy!

Brenda - posted on 11/29/2010

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I work only 2 sometimes 3 days a week, and those days daughter goes to Playschool, She loves it, and is healthy for them to socialize and not be the center of attention all the time, as well as healthy for us to do something with our professional life (if thats what we like to do), if you keep a part time, you will be with him 50% of the time and the other 50 working..extra cash now days is good, but allowing your child to interact outside of home alone is helping them in the long run..

Jodi - posted on 11/28/2010

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I am a SAHM and I simply couldn't imagine not being!!! I LOVE IT, it is worth every penny I have to pinch and not getting out for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week to be around other adults. To answer your questions:

1) Children don't need 40-60 hours of social interaction a week! There are many playgroups I'm sure you could find, I have found many SAHM's simply by going to my local park during school/work hours and have a nice niche of mommy friends to make play dates with! Also, children of SAHM's (and/or children of parents who use attatchment parenting) have notoriously more independant and social children, there have been studies. As long as you don't keep him locked up in the house without ever letting him interact with other people, he'll be fine and likely grow and expand as any child does!

2)Yes, you will miss it, to a point, some more than others. But, like I said, I have found a nice niche of women with whom I can relate and interact and get more rewarding social interaction WHILE allowing my child social interaction. (btw, it's just my personal opinion that these new relationships are more rewarding, to each their own.) you will go stir crazy...if you never leave the house and don't seek out social interaction!!!

3)Adjusting to a new budget can be difficult, but I have found so many free activities that my daughter enjoys even more than some of the expensive family nights we have on occasion! Check your local library for local events (we have a park that has Family Movie night (free) ever tuesday in the summer, 1$ skate, sled or snowshoe rentals with hot coffee/chocolate and popcorn in the winter, a free donation only zoo etc etc etc etc.) It really is, where there is a will, there is a way. It takes adjustment, but my husband and I are SO much more satisified with our lives now that we're spending less so that I can stay home (I've been a SAHM since day one,b ut we used to do expensive dinners/dates pre-child life!). Life is simpler, even if the checkbook gets to be a strain every once in a while. The worst thing that happens is that you aren't satisified...and perhaps just a part time job would fulfill your personal needs. I would say give it 6 months before you decide to go back to work if you try staying home...for me...best decision I have ever made! Best of luck...and only you can make the right decision for you, your child and your family unit!

Pam - posted on 12/02/2010

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I was a stay-at-home mom for my children up until my youngest started kindergarten. It was great! Both of my children went to preschool part-time at age 4 to help with kindergarten transition. However, neither had any trouble socially, academically, or emotionally. In fact, both tested gifted and were voted Best Manners amongst their peers. But it all depends on how you spend your time with your children that counts, not just how many hours. Also, I never got bored. Between playdates, going to the park, teaching the little ones, cleaning house, mom groups, church groups, volunteer work, cooking, sewing, and working out, I slept less than I ever did when I worked.

A piece of advice though. Stay sharp in your professional skills. Seek out free training and volunteer frequently in your field. My family's plan was for me to be at home until the baby went to college. But my husband walked out and after 7yrs away from the workforce, I had a difficult time being hired in my field, despite having a masters degree. With the economy being funny these days, it's something to think about when you must depend on others to support you. For me, I had to leave the profession I love because I could not compete. I switched to nursing so that I have a SAHM lifestyle M-F and work weekends only.

No matter what you choose, best of luck. And enjoy that beautiful baby of yours :)

Angela - posted on 11/30/2010

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I'm one of those women that just can't stay home. We can't afford for me to anyway, but if it were an option I wouldn't. I'm a better mommy when i'm not with my kids all day! Plus my oldest ADORES her daycare and all her friends there, so I know she'd be sad to leave them and be home with me all day. As it is I'm on maternity leave now and she's down to part-time at daycare since that's all we can afford with me not working for the next 6 weeks and she was SO happy to leave me and the baby this morning to go to school.

I think it really varies person to person and family to family. You have to do what works for you and your family. Given the choice, maybe I'd work part-time only if we could afford it and have a little more time with my kids, but unfortunately we can't. I enjoy and appreciate the time I have with them when I'm with them because of it.

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Robyn - posted on 12/02/2010

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Sounds like to meyou would be a woderful SAHM. You've done more than enogh research it sounds like. Try the SAHM if you want a part time job then it's just extra money for you to do things with....Sounds like a perfect set up to me. They grow so fast Iwould take advantage of the opportunity. I hope to do this when my hubbygraduates college inthe spring....Good luck!

April - posted on 12/01/2010

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i am a sahm of a 9month old, i love it dont get me wrong but i miss the adlut interaction that i had when i was working.it is great to see how they grow every day when your at home with them. you could always stay at home for awile and see then make up your mind then.

Brandi - posted on 12/01/2010

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I think many of us feel the same way I was home with our first daughter until she started pre-k, She is now 5... after we had our second daughter I worked midnights and that was way to hard! I thought it would be good since I could still be home w/ her during the day. When she was about 9 months old I went to days and only worked 2 days a wk while my mother watched her. That how ever didn't work out bc my youngest had a iron deficiency and needed a special diet which my mother thought was just a dr's way of getting your money... So we decided to put her in daycare and I totally regret it. I feel like I cheated her bc my other daughter was home w/ me all that time and she was not. We have also found that in the few short months she has been in daycare she has developed a HUGH attitude problem! Im not sure if she is picking things up from other kids or she just wants the attention since she is at daycare all day and then we dont have to much time at home in the evenings since we have homework for my older daughter, dinner, baths, snack time and story then bed!! So for me personally I would say stay at home...They are only little once and you cant get it back from a mother who has done it both ways I can say I feel like I know my older daughter more and I feel very guilty about my younger not getting that same time with me.

Kimi - posted on 11/30/2010

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It's the right thing if you can afford it.
Try it out and see.
Being at daycare isn't going to stop him from being shy and he can learn a lot about interacting with others if you help him instead of dropping him off at daycare. You should enjoy this time with him while you can.

Alexis - posted on 11/30/2010

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What about working part time or starting your own business? Maybe this can satisfy both your want to stay at home and the social needs you need outside of the home. It will also give your little one time to build on social skills as well, but without being at daycare 8+ hours a day.

Wendy - posted on 11/30/2010

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I'm a SAHM and we wouldn't have it either way. It is something my husband and I completely believe in, for so many reasons. You will find MUCH MORE gratification in raising your children and it will bring you and your husband closer together. Moms have historically stayed at home because it is natural and best for our families (imo). You will make adjustments of course, but once you settle in you will find that the house is less stressed and everything is going just as it should. Most likely, your husband will be VERY appreciative of you being a SAHM as well. You will probably see a changed man in a lot of ways (for the better). Good luck with whatever you decide!

[deleted account]

I like staying home with my son if you have the opportunity give it a try if its not right for your family you can always go back to work. My hubby and I decided one of us should be with the kids while they are little, until preschool age if we could manage financially. It isn't always easy but we have managed so far... my oldest is 16 months and we have another due in jan.



1) he can still interact with other kids outside of daycare. do u have friends with kids? start attending a play group or gymboree or just running errands with friends who have children. Sometimes having you in the background boosts their confidence so he may be less shy knowing you're close.

2) you will miss the extra "adult time" but its a trade off because you will be gaining extra time with your son plus you can still arrange to get out of the house and see friends.

3) can't say how you will deal with the money it depends on the person. you may not notice much or you may miss it at least you will have the option of going back to work if need be.

Brandee - posted on 11/30/2010

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"The grass is greener on the other side".. Isn't it??
I was a SAHM while searching for employment until my son was 8 months old.. I enjoyed every minute of it, but we needed the income.. Now he is 2 1/2 and I can't imagine pulling him out of his daycare.. He loves his teacher and has learned so much from his peers.. Also, being in daycare he is on a strict schedule, which we also follow at home on the weekends (especially for nap time).. I don't like being a working mom, but at least my hours are from 6:30am-3pm.. That gives me time in the afternoons to spend with my son.. My advise is to be a SAHM if you can afford it, but keep a schedule (to help keep you sane and give you a break) and make play dates for your son (to encourage him to be more social).. You could always look into a part time job and a mothers day out program if you start to feel stir crazy at home.. Good Luck!!

Tah - posted on 11/30/2010

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thank you Alida, it just bugs me when people get on their high horse about "daycare raising their children". Some moms have to work and that is such an insult to the moms that have no choice and the ones that do for that matter, I also think it gives the ones who want to work a guilt complex about leaving their children. I have yet to see any daycare workers..in church with us, at any of the planned out b-day parties, family vacations or outings, teaching my children how to make pies and chicken soup from scratch, discussing life in general, karate practices, band recitals, ceremonies, family traditions like lighting the tree etc. So the most i will say is that they assist in it, as others do, aunts etc. They do not raise the children. I have never gotten a call saying any of my children cried all day, they do not listen better to the daycare teachers then they do to me, if they do, chalk that up to parenting, that wouldn't matter if the child was with you all day or not. He loves playing with his friends and the socialization, but when i or my husband pick him up he comes right to us and knows the difference between the one who plays shark in the pool with him and takes him to the science life museum for family holiday in another state and the teachers at school. It's funny that people say daycare raises your child, but you seldom, if ever hear that about school, aren't they there for the day also?....we can't all stay home and homeschool and shouldn't be made to feel bad about it.

Sarh - posted on 11/30/2010

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Another things is... not sure how much you bring in, but daycare is expensive and often times you working is just about paying for the daycare and not much else.

Amie - posted on 11/30/2010

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I think its a personal choice i love being a sahm, the cost of having my 2 boys in full time care my wage wouldnt even cover it so there is no point in me going back id like to work part time once my yougest is 12mths.

Sarh - posted on 11/30/2010

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1. When a child reaches the age of 2yo is when he or she is ready to interact w/other children. Yes, some children do fine in daycare before they are two. My daughter started daycare at the age of 9 months old against my wishes. I was only 16yo, but knew I had to finish high school to give her the life she deserves. She is now almost 5yo and said on her first day of school that the other kids were all cry babies, I'm guessing because they did not have the social experience from daycare. My son is 5.5months old and I plan to be a stay at home mom w/him until he is at least a yr old maybe until he is 2 yrs old, but being a stay at home mom is driving me crazy, even though I can't leave him just to go grocery shopping. I've been working since I was about 10yrs old (my uncle owned a restaurant).
2. I will admit, I do miss out on social interactions, but I could have friends over whenever I would pick up the phone, I just decide not to and I'm not sure as to why. Maybe because I don't see the point in someone coming to my house when I also want to get out of the house....? Anyways. You can always set up lunch dates or something w/your friends. If any of them have small children set up play dates. Your local community center should have playgroups where you can socialize w/other mothers. ETC!
3. Right now I am on unemployment, my fiancee is only working part time. Before I became pregnant and before his last job was closed down we were bringing in at least 1.5times what we are now. We still manage to make it. Neither of us saved any money. Now, we are pinching our pennies... IF we eat out all the time. We have a bad habit of that. We don't get to go and do the things w/my daughter as we would like, but we also pay a lot for rent and we are paying off outstanding bills. Maybe for a month (before your position is eliminated) only do what you would normally do on just your partners income.

If you have done all of that research and what not I would suggest you being a SAHM for at least the next 9 months. Once he is 2yrs old he should be better about socializing, also the play groups and going to the park etc will help w/his socialization.

If you have a vehicle it will be much easier! I have a vehicle (we have 2, both in my fiancees names as he is the one w/a license), I don't have my license yet, hopefully going to get my temps tomorrow. We live in WI, so it is literally freezing already (ice on the ground!). I don't want to take my son or daughter on the city bus to go somewhere fun. I am stuck in the house all day and night w/my them for this reason. There are play groups and a "My mornings w/mom" class at the hospital I delivered at, but the play groups are about a mile and a half away (in the summer the walk would be nice, but not in the WI winters!). The city bus to get to the class at the hospital is 2 blocks from the house, but I'm worried about him being in the cold waiting for the bus and then going on the bus w/all of the people w/germs and colds, etc. I'm not a germaphobe, but our city buses are not the cleanest.
I would say be a stay at home! It is an amazing thing!
Good luck!!

Tiffany - posted on 11/29/2010

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I'm both technically. I stay at home and run a business from my home. Maybe see about running a business from your home or even just go back part time. Even if you were to stay home, you could still send your son to day care a few days a week to give him that interaction and to give you a break. Also, there are sooo many playgroups that you could go to with your son. Being a stay at home Mom is great, but we do struggle. If you can afford it and don't think you'll miss the extra money, I say go for it. But you could always do a 15 hour a week job just for a little extra cash and to get out of the house. Good Luck! =)

[deleted account]

My 1 yr old gets little interaction with children her age beyond swimming lessons. We can't afford to sign her up for a hundred things (swimming lessons are almost free). We do go to the mall and she plays in the kids area.

I hated working, but my job was horrible. I always found myself counting the hours until I could leave; and that was before my daughter.

Alida - posted on 11/29/2010

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I am a working mother and I have tried the whole stay at home deal for 15 months and found I couldn't do it. I love my children but with my circumstances I cannot afford not to work. Yes, I would love to stay at home again but I also love working. It makes my nights and weekends that much more worthwhile with my two kids. To some of those people saying that the daycare are "raising your kids" then you really must not know a persons situation.

Personally, I love they are in daycare too.. not only are my children learning from me but are also learning to socialize. I have never once been told I am a horrible mother OR have my kids asked for me.

Angie - posted on 11/29/2010

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Thanks everyone for all your comments!! I keep teetering between the two decisions and I still don't know what I'll decide. I have applied for some new jobs (working with kids since that's what I love) and we'll see how the cards fall, I guess. I would absolutely love to say home w/ my son and if it's meant to be, then that's great.



I wouldn't work part-time because the money I'd be making would just pay for the little amount of time he is in daycare, and that seems pointless to me.



I do already have my days all mapped should I stay home. We have a singing/signing class Monday nights (which we already attend), story at the library Tuesdays, drop-in playgroup at the local elementary school Wednesday afternoons, a parent/toddler class Thursday nights (which we already also attend), and another parent/toddler class Friday mornings. And when we aren't doing that type of thing, we'll be at home doing projects and playing. I want to do a letter, number and animal a week, and just take that whole week to learn about those specific letters, numbers and animals. I'm very excited about the possibility and am secretly hoping I don't get the jobs I applied for.....



As for the money situation, I am completely willing to sacrifice and cut out the silly spending. I'm just afraid it will cause stress btwn my husband and myself. He likes to spend, spend, spend and I'm already a money nazi!!



I really do appreciate all of your support and encouragement. You have given the best advice!!! Thank you so much!

Rosie - posted on 11/29/2010

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i currently work part time 20-25 hours a week in the morning time opposite of my hubby. i get money, social interaction, and don't miss out on much of my childrens upbringing. i only miss getting them up and ready for school, and that is actually WONDERFUL by me, lol. i really like having the flexability. :)

Christina - posted on 11/29/2010

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I am currently a stay at home mom to my 9month old son and have been since he was born. I will be going to work parttime when he turns one year. There are huge benefits to being a stay at home parent for both you and your child. As for socialize playdates with other SAHMs are perfect!

Nikkole - posted on 11/29/2010

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lol its ok i understand! I get a little defensive sometimes to! Thanks he is! :)

September - posted on 11/29/2010

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I'm very passionate when it comes to being a good Mom...so that's where I differ I guess. Sorry I got defensive :) I know what you mean...not all children get a fair chance at life and that's sad! Thanks for your kind words ♥ our son sure is an awesome lil guy!!! :) You’re son sounds pretty awesome too!

September - posted on 11/29/2010

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Again Nikkole without knowing everyone's backgrounds it's silly to pre-judge circumstances. Our son is 2 and loves daycare. Never have I been told that he asks for me all day long. He also knows his ABC's, can count to 15 (we are working on 20), and knows his shapes and a lot of colors as well...(I'll refrain from bragging too much just trying to prove a point)...and why? Because we spend a lot of time with him reading, doing arts and crafts, listening to music, singing, playing outdoors, painting and so on...our son does not watch much tv which makes for lots of one on one time, which I feel is very important. I do agree that daycare does help raise our son but HELPING is the best word to use!!! I take a lot of the credit as well! Not everyone's children are like the one's you’re describing...Our son is proof of quite the opposite!

Nikkole - posted on 11/29/2010

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I agree with Shauna i used to work at a daycare and student teach in kindergarten! And most the kids there that i wouild talk to would say moms never home or my parents (the older ones) I felt soo bad for them all they wanted was to be at home with there parents and the kids in Kindergarten some couldnt spell there names draw cirlces or squares or say there alphabet or even count and when the paretns were called in they would say well we try to work with them but we work a lot!!! So yes day care and preschool teachers usually raise other peoples kids in some ways! i understand SOME moms cant handle being at home all day but i believe its the best thing for the kids! Im a stay at home mom and i will continue to be until my kids go to school then i will go back to school! Some parents say well we need the money! DO YOU really need the money or are you just worried about having a certain amount in your bank account me and my husband save and watch our money VERY well for me to stay at home! But if you want to get a job i would get a part time if anything i wouldn't work full time not with kids just my opinion!

Laura - posted on 11/29/2010

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I just became a SAHM last spring. I have a 4,2, and will have another on in Feb. It was really hard for me to miss a lot of the firsts of my oldest two.

1. I was afraid of social interaction too but I do play dates, children's groups, my oldest goes to preschool, we go to the zoo at least once a week when it's nice out. And even just going to the park a child can always make a friend.

2. yes you will miss out on social interaction, make sure you take time for yourself. When I wasn't prego I played volleyball once a week with some friends. You will always need to keep contact with your friends.

3) The extra money is a tough one but if this is something you want to do you will learn to sacrifice. I buy most of my kids clothes at second hand stores, I hardly ever buy anything for myself (a book here or there) and clipping coupons and bargain hunting have become a hobby of mine.

It's really up to you, what you want and what changes you can handle, how much you are willing to sacrifice. And if you find you don't enjoy it you can always go back to work part-time (or full-time) this doesn't have to be a permanent thing.

good luck to you on what you decide.

September - posted on 11/29/2010

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I know Tah I was going to say the same thing about Shauna. Everyone's situation is different and to base her opinion solely upon her experience is just ignorant imo..our son is in daycare, yes our daycare provider is HELPING to raise our son but in no way do I feel she is doing it all! Nor do I miss out on things just because he's in daycare. What a one sided way to look at life....LAME! Again...just my opinion :)

Tah - posted on 11/29/2010

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wow shauna, i'm sure you make the moms who have to bring the kids to your daycare feel just great about it..telling them you are raising their children etc...holier than thou much...



anywho..to the OP...Try a part-time job if you aren't sure. When i was a sahm, the money was fine from his income, but i did miss those things, but that is just me. I have flexibility with my job and title so i can pick and chose, work as much as i like, if at all. Like this week, i'm off until thursday, which is good because i have a house full of sick little and big people and i can be here taking care of them and worry about work later.

September - posted on 11/29/2010

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1. No as long as you're making sure to keep him involved in play groups, toddler open gyms at your local community centers, playgrounds and other locations that children frequent. I think that when you're a SAHM it's important to get your children out of the house often.

2. Yes you will go stir crazy if you don't do something for you and or your child regularly.

3. I'm not sure. If your partner makes enough money to provide in the way you provide for your family with two incomes then there's nothing to stress about however if you’re cutting in close every month with only one income...then yes that could become stressful for you all. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. :)

I stayed at home for the first year of ours son’s life and it was a year of his life that I hold near and dear to my heart however it’s great to also see him thrive at daycare as well. The diversity that his childcare provides has been amazing for our son as well as the interactions with other children. In my opinion choosing the right daycare for your child is what’s most important and our son loves his!!! I do miss him while I’m at work but I get to look forward to seeing him all day long. There is nothing like that smile from my baby boy when I pick him up from daycare after a day at the office!

Allyson - posted on 11/29/2010

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I think working part time is a good idea too, if you can afford it (I did it for awhile and found that I wasn't making enough money to make it worth while). Or alot of moms keep their kids in daycare one day a week, or once every 2 weeks and you can have that day to yourself. Then they still have a little social time and you get a whole day for yourself.

Jessica - posted on 11/29/2010

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Well I'm kind of both... I live with my parents and have a part time job working the closing shift. During the day I spend time with my daughter and clean the house for my mom. On nights I go to work, my parents babysit for me. Once a week a go to a mother's group for young moms and its amazing! All the babies go with volunteer babysitters and the moms go in the room next door and have a group therapy session.

Try getting a part time job. Your baby can go to day care the days you work. Then you both have the social interaction that you're worried about missing out on. The days you don't work, have him home with you. Part-time jobs don't make that much money obviously but it'll probably be enough to set aside for those extra, fun things you don't wanna miss either.

Alecia - posted on 11/29/2010

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i am a SAHM and i say at least give it a shot. i am going to be a SAHM to any and all children we have, then go back to school and get my RN. its one thing to be at home with kids, but i dnt want to be here by myself all day when they are in school!! lol i am a very social person and just make sure i get out enough to keep happy. but i love being home with my daughter and wouldnt trade it for the world!! though i have been thinking about a part-time job at night so hubby could watch her while i make some extra cash. we r trying to build our own place next yr and a lil extra income would help. but i would never work during the day right now. i love being the one to instill values and teach my children.

Lacye - posted on 11/29/2010

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I have to agree with Brenda. If you are unsure, work a part time job and see how that goes.

Christi - posted on 11/28/2010

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I am currently a SAHM, but it wasn't by choice. Does that mean I hate it? Nope, I enjoy every second of it. I quit work duing my pregnancy because I was put on bedrest and after I had my son I was unable to find a new position. My son was diagnosed with Autism at 18 months and he requires twice a day therapy every single day. He is far behind other children his age and needs all the help I can give him. We are hurting bad when it comes to finances, but there is no way I can work and care for my son. I do sometimes miss the adult interactions, but anytime that happens I just call up a mommy and get a playdate set. My son goes to Friday music classes and gets to interact with other children like him and I am able to meet alot of moms that way. If you don't think you would be happy, then don't do it. If you can give it a trial run for six months, then try that. Just keep your options open.

Stifler's - posted on 11/28/2010

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I'm a stay at home mum and it's pretty good. It's only for a few short years so it's worth all the extra house work of being home all day and mischief and playgroup and stuff.

[deleted account]

I'm an at home mom. I love it! So my opinion may be biased but here it goes...

I think you determine your own "happiness". If you dwell on the fact that you don't have as much money as you used to, then no, you won't be happy. But if you focus on enjoying yourself as a mom, then you'll be happy. I'm sure it's more complicated than that, but I'm a firm believer that attitude plays a HUGE role in how we perceive life.

Here's my best advice. Try the SAHM gig for a while. Give it a few months so you can fully adjust to the lifestyle. Go to a playgroup every week, do activities at home when you can. Honestly there won't be as much time as you think to do it all! But give it your best shot. If you truly don't like being home, go find a job! Some people find that they are BETTER moms when they work outside the home. It's totally normal. I respect those moms that balance work and family...I couldn't do it!

As far as your son getting social interaction, kids don't really NEED it until they are about 3. Their most important relationships are with their parents. It's not a bad thing for younger kids to be in daycare. In fact, it can be good for a lot of families, but just know your son won't be missing anything.

The worst that can happen if you stay home for a while is that you miss out on a few months working. You don't really have anything to loose!

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Well I got fired for being pregnant and being a "liability" to the company. I will be having a little girl in late December, early January, so I can't get another job until after the baby. I have no idea what I'm going to do as far as employment is concerned. My husband works and makes enough to scrape by, but...

I want to be a SAHM but I don't think I can...

Lady Heather - posted on 11/28/2010

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I stay at home - I can't comment on the money thing, but as far as socialization for the two of us, we have no problems. I've never socialized more! Rather than spending all my time with people I *have* to work with, I get to focus on finding other mums that I actually connect with.

I live in a pretty lame place and there's still tons of stuff for families to do here. The museum and library have playgroups and there's all these neighbourhood centers that have stuff too. I joined a play group on facebook and met some others. We book afternoons at each other's homes or meet at the mall or for lunch and stuff. And without my little one, I now belong to a book club with other mums. From there a couple of us have decided to take up knitting together and learn how to belly dance. I never did anything like this before!

I guess it's just easier to meet people. You take your little one to the park and there's inevitably going to be at least one other mum there and you always end up talking. At least that's how it is for me, and I'm a total introvert.

Shauna - posted on 11/28/2010

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I am a preschool teacher and i can tell you most kids listen to us better than parents b/c we ARE the parents. We do most the raising! I would agree if you can afford it i would stay home! You miss out on so many firsts that someone else is expereincing. You can take your child to preschool or other mommy and me activities that last about 2 hrs a day for socialization.

Brianna - posted on 11/28/2010

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im a stay at home mom and its the best!! when ur kid goes to a dayhome someelse raises your kids. i think that if u can afford to stay home u should do it cuz they are only young once and u have the whole rest of ur life to work. and if ur think that ur missing out on social stuff then join a moms group or go to mom and tots swim then u make new friends and u and your baby can socialize

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