Screaming Tantrums in my 11 Month Old Daughter...

Lindsay - posted on 09/20/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 11 months, she has started throwing extreme tantrums when she doesn't get her way (as in I take something away from her she shouldn't be playing with or at meal time if she doesn't like the taste of the food), I don't believe in spanking at all especially at this young age but I try to say "no" or pop her hand (not hard) and it just seems to make her angrier...these are screaming bloody murder full body throwing her head back fits, scared to take her out in public sometimes... HELP? anyone...?

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Lindsay - posted on 09/22/2009

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Thank you for your help moms... It is much appreciated. To Lisa: I believe in setting healthy limitations and boundaries for a child. I absolutely believe in empathy and leading by example but she also needs to understand that I am the mother and she is the child. If I let her explore and she picks something up she shouldn't be playing with I will take it away from her and explain why she cannot have it...then of course she throws a tantrum bc she wants something she cannot have. As for the food I feed her a mix of healthy vegetables, fruits, meats and next step formula as well as allowing her finger foods such as cereal and all the gerber graduate treats. She has MANY options but again, she is not going to like the taste of every single thing i feed her but i must make that decision, taste vs nutrition. It's a fact of life most children do not like vegetables! BUT am I supposed to give up on feeding them to her because she throws a tantrum every time she tries one? I believe in showing mutual respect for children but there is also a time to draw the line and start discipline not let your child run all over you...she has to learn healthy boundaries and needs to start at an early age! As for the "popping" of the hand which is more like a light tap, that is a result of "no" no longer working and it is very rare that i do that, only in extreme cases. but I guess everyone's parenting style is different...a child needs discipline even at 11 months. I am a new parent and trying to open my mind to different options that have worked for other mothers...however, we may disagree but I do appreciate your input.

Minnie - posted on 09/21/2009

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You take something away from her that she wanted. She's force to eat food she hates. You 'pop' her hand.

I can completely understand why she'd scream. Put yourself in her shoes. It must be terribly frustrating to her, to be expected to grow and develop at such a wild pace, but be expected to control your personal thoughts, feelings, actions...

How about empatizing with her. Before you go and grab something out of her hand (how would you teach her grabbing is not ok if you're doing it?) have something more interesting to offer. Explain why you need to take the object. Offer comfort and cuddles- don't just leave her to her big emotions to deal with them herself.

Don't force her to eat food she doesn't like. Boy, that would make ME hate mealtimes. Are you offering table food for her picking or shoveling goo at her?

As for the 'popping'. Well, huh. I'd be pretty mad if someone decided to 'pop' me too.

It's about showing respect for our children. They are just as worthy of it as anyone.

Empathize.

Michelle - posted on 09/21/2009

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My daughter did that and I tried ignoring her but it didnt work. So I put her in her room and told her she can come out when she stops crying and is ready to be nice. As far as going out in public I dont know how to help you there. There is not much you can do if you are out and about. I would just have to leave where ever I was when she did it in public.

Bridget - posted on 09/21/2009

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At 11 months, your options are distraction, or ignore the behaviour. DO NOT TOUCH HER, any physical contact is attention.

Melanie - posted on 09/20/2009

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Just ignore it and eventually she will know its not catching ur attention and she will eventually stop

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