Self-esteem issues with my 5yr old

Sarah - posted on 07/29/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I have a 7 year old (Adam) and a 5 year old (Ian) who are best friends. That is until Adam gets invited to a friends house and doesn't want Ian to come. I think Ian is old enough to go and have fun, especially since he hasn't started school yet (he will in a couple of weeks) and doesn't really have friends (we have a really quiet neighborhood). It breaks my heart to see Ian feel bad when Adam doesn't want him to come. I am afraid I will have to deal with this for a long time. What should I do so that I don't get too emotional in the situation (i.e. defensive of Ian all the time and mad at Adam all the time)?

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Stefanie - posted on 07/29/2009

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He should be encouraged to have his own friends. Maybe someone from your faith has a nice son his age or maybe putting him in a sport (like Karate) and letting him make friends there. If not, declare a camp out with dad/mom night when Adam goes to his friends house and do all kinds of fun stuff. Go camping for the night, fishing, set off some fireworks or whatever. Or let him pick something special to do that night at home with you or dad like baking cookies, staying up late watching toons or just whatever. Make it extra special for him and then tell him that someday he'll be able to go to sleep overs too but until then he can still have a ton of fun with you.

Angela - posted on 07/29/2009

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Honestly, it is life. I wouldn't worry about it. Ther will be times when the younger one will go without his brother too.

Michelle - posted on 07/29/2009

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maybe you and Ian can do something fun when Adam is gone to a friends house. When Adam starts school he will be able to go to friends houses without his brother as well as he wil have his own set of friends. I know it can be heartbreaking.

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