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Sex after giving birth

Frances - posted on 04/05/2010 ( 13 moms have responded )

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So my son will be 6 weeks old, and my doctor gave me clearance to have sex again, but Ive heard horror stories about the first time having sex after giving birth (vaginally, of course) and am anxious about the thought of doing it. Any one have any advice or stories? Maybe a little bit of encouragement!?!?!?!

13 Comments

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Sunny - posted on 04/05/2010

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It does feel pretty strange the first couple of times, just take it slow and dont worry it all goes back to normal, for us sex was back to how it was before baby about 4 months after.

Kaitlin - posted on 04/05/2010

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I waited until I got the go-ahead from my doctor before having sex again. My son is now 7 weeks old. I had a pap at the appointment and that hurt, but the sex didn't. Just remember to take it slow and try to relax and enjoy it! Just keep in mind, condoms are necessary for the first two weeks, minimum, once you start birth control again.

Sinsimelia - posted on 04/05/2010

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I think as long as your comfortable and you really want it then try but not before. i had sex 3 weeks after it and it was uncomfortable but i knew what to expect and was so ready for it it gets better though just go slow and enjoy.

Kristy - posted on 04/05/2010

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I would say don't worry! I also had a really bad tear and quite a few stitches with my first son. We waited 5 weeks and took it slow the first few times but I wasnt in any pain mostly just kind of nervous but their was really no need. The only thing you can do it try it out... and if your unconfortable you can always stop and give it some more time, your husband will understand!

Jeramie - posted on 04/05/2010

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I had some minor tearing and a few stitches, which healed well. Sex was a little awkward at first because I was a little nervous, but it didn't hurt. I was a little dry for a couple of months, but it got better. I asked my husband and he didn't complain about it, either.

Liz - posted on 04/05/2010

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It is kinda strange. If your dry (which does happen) use lube. But my best advice is if you enjoyed sex befor baby you will after. Just take it slow. No rough stuff at first and if you have any problems talk to your doc dont be shy. Blive it or not they help alot they did after I had my Son.

Frances - posted on 04/05/2010

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Well, sadly for me, I ended up having an episiotomy and tearing in 3 different places! (YIKES!) SO needless to say I had to get a lot of stitches (close to 20). I'm hoping that doesn't mean that I am any more susceptible to the pain. Thanks everyone!

Carolee - posted on 04/05/2010

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Take it slow, use LOTS of lube, and make sure your partner is prepared to stop if it starts to hurt too bad... and try to relax and enjoy it (it might take a while to do that, though).

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it will probably hurt a little bit for a while. make sure it is at a time when you can have lots of foreplay and use lube. go slowly. really the more u do it the faster you feel "back to normal| again

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I started having sex 4 weeks after our daughter was born. It was uncomfortable not painful. It took a couple of weeks of gentle sex before it felt normal again. Defintly use lots of lube and go slow. I had a second degree tear, even though it was all healed up it was still tender. Good luck!

Marie - posted on 04/05/2010

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Hi Frances,

I had a C Sec so can't speak for vaginally delivering, but it was so so painful down there for me too. They say if you breastfeed you have lower estrogen levels which keep you most and stretchy down there. If you were given antibiotics make sure you don't have a yeast infection too. So, lots and lots of lube and a slow undestanding partner will make a huge difference. I still get anxiety and scared 6 months later because of the pain. OH, and I am not allergic to latex condoms that I know of, but we switched to not latex because that made a big difference too., Certain condoms and lube (for me not sure why) caused a lot of stinging.

Just take it slow and easy, do what you are comfortable with, communication as you know is key.

Yinni - posted on 04/05/2010

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i lost my sex drive after having our son. 13 months later its still no better, tho we still try. it feels very painful for me, as if i still have a remaining stitch that hasnt dissolved from the tearing during birth (i mustve not healed right somewhere). its like a severe stinging sensation (it sucks). my suggestion, get some good lube and use lots of it. dont forget the birth control either! dont push yourself to do it if youre uncomfortable with having sex again just yet. you dont want to have a bad experience due to worry and tension.

Iysha - posted on 04/05/2010

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I had sex again after 5 weeks (1 week after I stopped bleeding and 1 week before my appointment) and it didn't hurt at all!!! I was nervous too but we hadn't had sex since I was 32 weeks pregnant (doc's orders) and I had my baby at 35 weeks and I was ready to start having sex again. I was scared but it was for nothing....it didn't hurt.



I didn't get any stitches or anything so I don't know if that makes a difference. I would think that when you get cut or have a major tear that it might be tender for longer. I haven't heard of it hurting bad during sex after that, just a bit sore feeling.

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