sex : for pleasure or reproduction ?

Charlie - posted on 06/05/2009 ( 32 moms have responded )

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just read some interesting comments on another post ,it started when a mother commented she had sex for pleasure and fell pregnant ( longer story go read :

Should dads have the right to opt out of fatherhood

when someone replied " Dont have sex until you want to have children " , ".instead of having sex for pleasure I think you should try sex toys" another person stating " I do agree with you that people shouldn't be having sex if they aren't prepared to deal with the consequences "
while i agree you should know the consequences of sex i personally have sex for pleasure and have never had sex with intent to have a child but now as a result i have an amazing , smart beautiful little boy his father and i couldn't be happier , i just want to know other peoples thoughts on this , do you believe sex should only be for reproduction or is it as much an expeirence shared with couples for pleasure ?

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Sabrina - posted on 06/07/2009

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oh trust me i know it doesnt hurt but after six kids i have not been up to having sex. the only time we do is on the weekend. i think right now the fact that my daughter cosleps with us on/off through the night since im breastfeeding has something to do with it. but even if you dont have sex you can still talk and bond together.

Kate CP - posted on 06/07/2009

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Quoting Sabrina:

i think everyone is going to be in agreement that sex is a pleasurable thing. and when ready it is alos for reproduction. i too think that unless ready dont do it. sex is a great way to bond with your partner. thats why we have makeup sex. it helps to connect in all kinds of ways. we recently had a pastor her in fl. tell his congrigation to have sex everyday the married couples of course. and alot of them said it helped them to connect better. when they went back after a week they asked what to do now. he said keep doing it.


See, I just can't have sex everyday...it actually hurts. At the most every-other day but usually once or twice a week is what I can manage. Between the kiddo and the possible pain we don't get around to "it" much. :/

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Charlie - posted on 06/08/2009

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yeah i have heard that too ! pheramones change as well as women having a " glow " about the them during ovulation , its not obvious though , a man wouldnt say " hey babe your ovulating lets get it on " but are more likely to have sex ! i love the way the human body works its pretty amazing , i wish i had seen that ep . of oprah!

[deleted account]

Quoting Loureen:

Just a quick note : most animals ONLY have sex for reproduction they do this because males can tell a distinct differance in females , a change in appearence , a distinctive smell , or specific signilling behaviours , Humans however are one of the few " animals " to have sex for " pleasure " , we females have what is called concealed ovulation where our male counterparts cannot tell when we are furtile we have no obvious signs ! along with dolphins and Bonobos ( a type of chimp ) all very inteligent , i think it shows a certain level of spiritual awarness that our species do infact have other uses for sex , reproduction but also for spiritual bonding between to people and the two dont always have to be together sex is after all the most intimate experiance between two people and we should feel lucky i think that we are one of the few that are aware enough to have that ! all in all sex is great ! we are not planning any more children soon but will have fun practising lol !


Actually I was watching Oprah one day and they were talking about how men actually do subconscienciously notice a difference in the appearance and the smell of a woman who is ovulating.  The men were shown pictures of ovulating and nonovulating women and were given their clothes to smell.  They always chose the ovulating samples as the more attractive looking or smelling.  It's obviously not as dramatic a change as in most animals but there is a difference.

[deleted account]

Quoting Loureen:

Just a quick note : most animals ONLY have sex for reproduction they do this because males can tell a distinct differance in females , a change in appearence , a distinctive smell , or specific signilling behaviours , Humans however are one of the few " animals " to have sex for " pleasure " , we females have what is called concealed ovulation where our male counterparts cannot tell when we are furtile we have no obvious signs ! along with dolphins and Bonobos ( a type of chimp ) all very inteligent , i think it shows a certain level of spiritual awarness that our species do infact have other uses for sex , reproduction but also for spiritual bonding between to people and the two dont always have to be together sex is after all the most intimate experiance between two people and we should feel lucky i think that we are one of the few that are aware enough to have that ! all in all sex is great ! we are not planning any more children soon but will have fun practising lol !


Actually I was watching Oprah one day and they were talking about how men actually do subconscienciously notice a difference in the appearance and the smell of a woman who is ovulating.  The men were shown pictures of ovulating and nonovulating women and were given their clothes to smell.  They always chose the ovulating samples as the more attractive looking or smelling.  It's obviously not as dramatic a change as in most animals but there is a difference.

Jess - posted on 06/08/2009

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Sex was made for pleasure and reproduction. You can still have sex without reproducing and if it was only for reproduction there wouldnt be preventions to stop this.. and sex is also made for pleasure so that two people can enjoy each other and physically connect with them. and if u have the two combined then as long as ur ready to have children it can be a wonderful thing.

Sabrina - posted on 06/07/2009

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i think everyone is going to be in agreement that sex is a pleasurable thing. and when ready it is alos for reproduction. i too think that unless ready dont do it. sex is a great way to bond with your partner. thats why we have makeup sex. it helps to connect in all kinds of ways. we recently had a pastor her in fl. tell his congrigation to have sex everyday the married couples of course. and alot of them said it helped them to connect better. when they went back after a week they asked what to do now. he said keep doing it.

Mel - posted on 06/07/2009

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i tried this Kate! since i heard that orgasm helps to conceive i thought doing it afterwards may help too along with lying with your legs in the air for 20 minutes. i know for most this would work! hopefully one day for me to

Jocelyn - posted on 06/07/2009

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Quoting Kate:



Quoting Jocelyn:

well obviously it is needed for reproduction lol, BUT it is also meant for pleasure. i mean, why else would we have a clit? it's ONLY purpose is for pleasure, it doesn't contribute to our overall bodily system lol i think it is more of an "incentive" for reproduction! pleasure has to come first, because if there was no pleasure, would anyone really want to have sex all that often? and if we're not having sex, we're not reproducing!





Fun fact time! ;D






A woman's cervix has been shown to "dip down" in a sort of spasming motion during an orgasm into a pool of seminal fluid. Thus, the clitoris is meant to aid in orgasms making reproduction easier and more fun. A twofer! ;)






So, if you're having issues concieving a thing to try (and it worked for me) is to orgasm AFTER your partner has already ejaculated which brings more seminal fluid into the uterus. 






Did I mention that I love the Discovery channel? ;D





haha you learn something new every day! good old discovery channel :)

Jocelyn - posted on 06/07/2009

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Quoting Kate:



Quoting Jocelyn:

well obviously it is needed for reproduction lol, BUT it is also meant for pleasure. i mean, why else would we have a clit? it's ONLY purpose is for pleasure, it doesn't contribute to our overall bodily system lol i think it is more of an "incentive" for reproduction! pleasure has to come first, because if there was no pleasure, would anyone really want to have sex all that often? and if we're not having sex, we're not reproducing!





Fun fact time! ;D






A woman's cervix has been shown to "dip down" in a sort of spasming motion during an orgasm into a pool of seminal fluid. Thus, the clitoris is meant to aid in orgasms making reproduction easier and more fun. A twofer! ;)






So, if you're having issues concieving a thing to try (and it worked for me) is to orgasm AFTER your partner has already ejaculated which brings more seminal fluid into the uterus. 






Did I mention that I love the Discovery channel? ;D





haha you learn something new every day! good old discovery channel :)

Kate CP - posted on 06/07/2009

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Quoting Jocelyn:

well obviously it is needed for reproduction lol, BUT it is also meant for pleasure. i mean, why else would we have a clit? it's ONLY purpose is for pleasure, it doesn't contribute to our overall bodily system lol i think it is more of an "incentive" for reproduction! pleasure has to come first, because if there was no pleasure, would anyone really want to have sex all that often? and if we're not having sex, we're not reproducing!


Fun fact time! ;D



A woman's cervix has been shown to "dip down" in a sort of spasming motion during an orgasm into a pool of seminal fluid. Thus, the clitoris is meant to aid in orgasms making reproduction easier and more fun. A twofer! ;)



So, if you're having issues concieving a thing to try (and it worked for me) is to orgasm AFTER your partner has already ejaculated which brings more seminal fluid into the uterus. 



Did I mention that I love the Discovery channel? ;D

Jocelyn - posted on 06/06/2009

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well obviously it is needed for reproduction lol, BUT it is also meant for pleasure. i mean, why else would we have a clit? it's ONLY purpose is for pleasure, it doesn't contribute to our overall bodily system lol i think it is more of an "incentive" for reproduction! pleasure has to come first, because if there was no pleasure, would anyone really want to have sex all that often? and if we're not having sex, we're not reproducing!

Charlie - posted on 06/06/2009

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Just a quick note : most animals ONLY have sex for reproduction they do this because males can tell a distinct differance in females , a change in appearence , a distinctive smell , or specific signilling behaviours , Humans however are one of the few " animals " to have sex for " pleasure " , we females have what is called concealed ovulation where our male counterparts cannot tell when we are furtile we have no obvious signs ! along with dolphins and Bonobos ( a type of chimp ) all very inteligent , i think it shows a certain level of spiritual awarness that our species do infact have other uses for sex , reproduction but also for spiritual bonding between to people and the two dont always have to be together sex is after all the most intimate experiance between two people and we should feel lucky i think that we are one of the few that are aware enough to have that ! all in all sex is great ! we are not planning any more children soon but will have fun practising lol !

Andrea - posted on 06/06/2009

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I am so glad that someone asked this question... I remember being younger and thought that mom's and dad's shouldn't have sex, lol boy did i change my mind haha. And I have know some ppl raised that sex was only for reproduction because of religious reasons... I believe that we can have sex for pleasure and for reproduction too. I also think that everyone (both male and female) should take mesures to stop pregnacy if they don't want it...

Melissa - posted on 06/06/2009

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I enjoy sex for pleasure, but I make sure that I use major protection when I am not wanting to get pregnant. Birth control and condoms together are good, and now they have the Plan B as an OTC for woman over 18 or prescription for under 18... I love my children and one of them was an ooopsies but it was my fault because I was taking an antibiotic and forgot that it lowers the protection ability of BC... I love them both very much and I will not stop having sex for pleasure... I believe that people shouldnt have sex for pleasure until they are able to take care of a child if that is the outcome of their sexual experience.

Bridget - posted on 06/06/2009

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As an adult, if you choose to have sex you choose to take all the risks that go with it. Unless you have discussed and agreed upon having children with your sexual partner, he is in no way responsible for any resulting children apart from providing child support payment to ensure the welfare of his offspring.

I have sex for pleasure with my life partner, as I am willing to love and support any children that may be concieved. If I wasn't ready for another child, I would be using a minimum of 2 forms of contraception, or we would have a vasectomy. After my next baby I will be getting a tubal ligation as I do not want more than 2 children, and it's as close to 100% effective as you can get. So then I can have lots and lots and lots of sex for pleasure!!

Brittany - posted on 06/06/2009

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Absolutely both!!! I had sex for pleasure, and became pregnant, but I wasn't using any kind of birth control and knew it was possible. Me and my fiance had been trying to get pregnant for 4 years. We decided to wait and started pulling out I was going to get on BC and we became pregnant. My daughter just turned 6 wks we've been having sex since she was 4 weeks with condoms because I don't want another baby so soon, I want to give this little angel all my love.I'm getting Mirena ASAP. I do understand that sometimes you can get pregnant if your on BC, so if you have sex you should always know that there is the possibility of pregnancy and if you don't want to get pregnant at all you shouldn't have sex

Kate CP - posted on 06/06/2009

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Quoting Jamie:

Kate it can be both. But you shouldnd start having sex for pleasure until you are ready to handle reproduction.


I agree. It's much more fun when you're not scared of getting pregnant. :)

Jamie - posted on 06/06/2009

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Kate it can be both. But you shouldnd start having sex for pleasure until you are ready to handle reproduction.

Michelle - posted on 06/06/2009

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we believe that sex is to have children.. the pleasure is a great side benefit....we also do not believe in the use of birth control which i know lots of people find weird. casual sexual relationship would have never crossed my mind even pre hubby... it's gross to just give your body to every guy that catches your attention

Mel - posted on 06/06/2009

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oh another note i never felt anything from sex for the first 2 years after i started having sex infact it only caused me pain and swelling because my muscles are tight. so it most definitely was only for the pleasure of my partner and later for the hope of conceiving

Mel - posted on 06/06/2009

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it is definately not right to say if your ready to have sx your ready to have a child. most women lose their virginity by age 16. most 16 year olds are not ready for a child when they begin having sex. i was different i had sex to reproduce as you say i was having sex twice a day every single day at 16-18 and i fell pregnant after 2 years. i have to say now that i am trying for number 2 it definately has become not about pleasure at all. we have sex maybe once a week but when im ovulating i tell him we have to and he does. we do it like once during ovulation sometimes twice so hopefully it will work eventually but it puts such a stress on us because we cant wait til we really want to adn even if we did we never seem to get time to have sex.

Jamie - posted on 06/05/2009

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think sex should be pleasure full. But you shouldnt be having it until you can take care of what ever may come, meaning a baby. And your right bc doesnt work. But I think calling an unexpected pregnancy an accident is stupid and an excuse. Everytime you have sex with or without birth control there is a chance a baby will happen. And I mean every time. And I think to many people get caught up in the pleasure and think "it wont happen to me" So unless you are ready to deal with reproduction you shouldnt be having sex for pleasure.

Megan - posted on 06/05/2009

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I think that sex is for both. You shouldn't have it if you don't know the consequences. But sex is a very important part of a relationship and is a way to show love and affection between a couple and heck it feels GOOD. I am not against sex outside of marriage or purely for pleasure but i do think any consenting members should be at least somewhat prepare to deal with having a pregnancy occur. My baby wasn't "planned" by me and my husband... but it wasn't "prevented" either. We knew what waters we were sailing into and were elated to have our little surprise. Best "oops" we ever made!

[deleted account]

Mostly about pleasure, I think. We're one of only a few species that have sex even when we can't get pregnant, and I think sex is a pretty important part of a relationship. If sex were only for reproduction, then I guess I shouldn't have been having sex while on birth control, while pregnant or now while my son is still breastfed... just not something I could do. And certainly my husband would object to that arrangement.

Charlie - posted on 06/05/2009

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i completely agree with casual relationships you have to be carefull , the pill is not 100% ive been pregnant twice on the pill with my partner , i lost the first one , but have a beautiful boy cooper now ! but there are some couples who dont want to have kids and sex is a beautiful experiance shared by a couple that is the ultimate in bonding , sex is one of the major factors that makes your relationship with your partner special and different to the relationship you share with your friends .thanx for your opinion its great to hear from others :)

Nicole - posted on 06/05/2009

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It can be for business or pleasure, whatever the situation calls for. When I was on the pill, it was purely for pleasure. But when we decided we were ready for a baby, it became all business. I think people should be careful doing it for pleasure if they are only in a casual relationship though. Even with all the birth control options there is still a possibility for pregnancy and both parties need to be prepared for that possibility, slim as it may seem. My sister in law got pregnant 4 times on 4 different birth control methods (one was a miscarriage with the IUD) and that moment of pleasure has caused her years of hardship. Don't get me wrong, she loves her kids and is a wonderful mother, but she would've been better off with a sex toy, lol!

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