?(she is 5 tomorrow) .thanks

Chloe - posted on 01/08/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I have a daugghter who is going to be 5 tomorrow. She is very clever and when wants to be a polite girl. but her behaviour has got really bad shes throws bad tantrums if she does not get her own way! she will hit scream and throw anything in arms lengh sometimes she gets herself so worked up i think she could make her self sick with screaming and shouting. I have been using timeout for 4minutes as that is her age atm and she will calm down and say sorry and understand where she went wrong and why she was put on but within 5 minutes of coming off she is back to being naughty like not listening to a word i say, shouting, telling people she hates them and even hitting her aunties or me. I dont know what othere techiques i could use to try and pervent so much drama in her and my life! is this normal behaviour for a 4 nearly 5 year old?(she is 5 tomorrow) .thanks

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S. - posted on 01/10/2013

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I have a nearly 5 year old and I do the naughty step, on occasions when she's past her self she gets sent to her room until she calms her self down! If your little girls like mine she will keep you on your toes but will thrive at being a "good girl" so try concentrate on the good make reward charts, tell her how good she is and how much of a great helper she is.

My daughter has been playing up on bed times and keeping her little sister awake (I think she's excited for her birthday) so tonight I made them a sticker chart, I said who ever gets the most stickers gets a treat for bing good, she was a sleep in 5 minuets tonight. So it just goes to show it works.

Please don't whip your child.

Amanda - posted on 01/10/2013

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When I see that my children are about to enter tantrum mode I ask them "Is that how you are going to get what you want?" This doesn't mean they will get what they want, it just helps to remind them they won't get *anything* they want while addressing me that way. If they continue into full tantrum mode I either take them to their room until its over or I walk away. They are not allowed to speak to me, or their father, again until they are at least trying to control their behavior.

Do you speak to her once her time-out is over about why she was in time-out? Make sure you let her know what it was she did wrong and tell her what kind of behavior you like from her. Sometimes children need a direct explanation of what is expected of them and what kind of behavior is appreciated. Behavior is habitual, you may need to remind her often what is good girl behavior, what is not, and when she is toeing the line. Sometimes laying off the punishment and using warnings instead will get you better results, this is dependent on the child of course.

Krystal - posted on 01/10/2013

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Michelle has it right, IGNORE. I know it seems impossible sometimes, especially after you have delat with it all day long. But it will work. This is something i am working on with my husband at the moment. He works full time, and i stay home with the kids, and once he gets home, my 3 year old gets into this nasty attitude. She gets whiney and "mean" (for a three year old. lol) And when i stepped back to figure out why, it was because when she acted like that he would yell at her, and he was paying attention to her. negative attention, but attention. when she doesnt see him all day, and thats the attention he gives her, she'll take it!

I try to explain this to him, but... so far its not taking.

Anyway, Ignore, after a few minutes of ignoring, quietly say to her, whisper even (kids want to hear what you say, and will usually immediatly calm down to hear you if you whisper) that you cannot hear her when she acts like that, and then continue with whatever you were doing, giving no more attention that one sentence.

Michelle - posted on 01/09/2013

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Ignore her. Don't even tell her off. Walk away to another room if you have to. When she realizes that she doesn't get ANY attention (yes yelling at her or putting her in time out is giving her attention) she will give up. To some children it doesn't matter if it's good or bad attention, that's all they want.

Make sure you do praise good behaviour though. Don't make it seem that all you do is ignore her as that will just have the same effect. Praise her when she eats her meals or plays nicely with others or even does as you ask the first time.

Jennifer - posted on 01/09/2013

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It seems to me a different form of discipline is necessary. Im only a mom to be so the only experience I have is being whipped while I was brought up. It worked for me... My sister was not whipped (same parents...6 yrs difference in age) and I think you can tell a huge difference in our personalities.

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