Should i change his name?

Vanessa - posted on 08/03/2009 ( 15 moms have responded )

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one of my little boys is named after his father and the relationship with him ended some time ago due to domestic violence. My ex does not have any access or contact with my children and although my oldest two know who he is they have no interest in him an refer to him as their nasty daddy. I have been thinking about changing my son's name only i am unsure if it is the right thing to do so any advice would be a great help x x x

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Nicole - posted on 08/03/2009

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I personally wouldn't change it, a name is just a name. So even though they have the same name, they're not the same person. If anything, you can call him by a nickname and when he's older he can change it himself if he wants. I changed my first, middle, and last names when I got married, it's really not that hard to do. Don't know where you live, but I did it in Virginia and all I had to do was go down to the county clerks office, where you get your marriage license, pay taxes, etc. and fill out a form and pay about $35. I got a letter in the mail the next week granting my name change that I had to send to everyone (social security, credit cards) so I could have new stuff in my new name sent.

Kate CP - posted on 08/03/2009

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It's a lot of legal paperwork and court costs. Plus he's old enough now that changing his name could be really hard on him.

Caitlin - posted on 08/03/2009

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I don't think you should change his name. It is his identity. Especially if he can't remember his father, he doesn't associate the two. I really thinking changing it will cause him more problems then help. Also, while I am sure this guy was an total @ss, I would encourage the older children not to call him nasty daddy.

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Taryn - posted on 08/04/2009

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it would be totally up to you or if he is old enough to say mom i don't want my real dads name i want it changed then let him change it but if they don't like there real father then i would change there name

Lakeisha - posted on 08/04/2009

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If the name of your child gives you constant reminders of his dad, then I would say yes.

Jamie - posted on 08/04/2009

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i dont think you should. Also, youd have to get it past ajudge and the father would have to agree to it.

Jill - posted on 08/04/2009

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I think if you decid to change it keep it as Junior if that is what he is uaully called anyways, but it is ultimately your decision. I wqould keep it as close to his original name as possible. Junior is a good substitute since he goes by that and knows that name. I think maybe dont change his name and just continue to call him Junior. Might be less stressful and if he ever asks about Adrian you can explain the situation, pertaining he is old enough. Good luck!

Kate CP - posted on 08/03/2009

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Changing a name when you get married or divorced is easier than changing your name for the sake of changing your name.

Tera - posted on 08/03/2009

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I don't think it would be a good idea to change his name, he is old enough to know what is going on, I think it might be to confusing. But all and all it is up to you!

Jenni - posted on 08/03/2009

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I wouldn't change his name you might send the message to him that he's somehow bad. If he wants to change it as an adult or informed teenager that's up to him.

My mom left my dad from abuse too and I've never had contact with him. When I would ask about him she'd just say "he gave me you and for that I'll always be grateful, but he had problems we couldn't help with that's why he's not in our lives"

Vanessa - posted on 08/03/2009

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i no thats was i have been so unsure about it, my kids have all been thro enough already an there is no way i want to make things any harder for them

Vanessa - posted on 08/03/2009

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he is 5 so he does know his name and how to read it and write it. Altho since he was born he has been called junior rather than his first name (Adrian) by almost everyone so he knows how to read and write that too.

Melissa - posted on 08/03/2009

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If you or your child have no contact with the father then i see no problem changing the name.It is completly your choice but i know if i was in the same situation then i would do the same thing,I would want to get rid of anything to do with the dad,Including his name.

Melissa - posted on 08/03/2009

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If you or your child have no contact with the father then i see no problem changing the name.It is completly your choice but i know if i was in the same situation then i would do the same thing,I would want to get rid of anything to do with the dad,Including his name.

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