Should I Give Up?

Renee - posted on 01/15/2014 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Ok, so me and my boyfriend been together for about 5 yrs now. We live together and have a daughter whose 18 months. Lately he has become extremely disrespectful. It seems as if he hates me. He yells at me over the silliest things and calls me names (bitches, stupid, degenerate ext..) Usually when this happens I yell back of course cause it makes me angry, and we'll yell back and forth at each other until I submit and cry. Sometimes he'll apologize then sometimes he won't. He tells me that i'm young and immature, some of things I take offense to I shouldn't because a real women doesn't cry and is strong. I know at times I am a bit sensitive but why should my lover be allowed to talk to me in any way he pleases. It's not fair. I'm good to him I've changed a lot and sacrificed a lot for him. Maybe he's stressed from being the only one who brings in income. I'm having a pretty tough time landing a job but I really am trying. He sees that. I cry a lot it's really depressing I don't feel like myself. I'm really starting to believe all the bad things he says to me.

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Randi - posted on 01/15/2014

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If you truly love him dont give up. Have you tried talking to him? That may help. When my daughter was born and sometimes even now my husband gets so stressed about money. I am a full time student and dont have a job. So it does get stressful. Especially on the one who has to leave everyday and make the money. Not saying you dont do anything because being a full time mom is hard at times and also stressful. For your baby though dont yell, and dont give your significant other the satisfaction of seeing you hurt. I also learned this first hand. Even if you are young. I am only 21 and Im learning as i go. Alot of it may be lack of communication. Try talking to him and hear him out. And let him know how YOU feel. It might help. If he loses his temper just walk away and cuddle your baby or play. He will calm down and see how ridiculous he looked. Be the bigger person.

Trey - posted on 02/05/2014

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Try counseling through your church & if that doesn't work leave and worry about you and your child only!

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Tabatha - posted on 02/05/2014

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Well I will leave the baby not spending time out alone. I completely understand how you feel. My father was very controlling with my mother but after 17 years she could not handle being treated like a child and left all of us. You should suggest that the two of you go to some couples counseling. If he is unwilling to work on it I would suggest a separation. There is no reason for you to be miserable for the rest of your life.

Renee - posted on 02/05/2014

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He would never agree to the baby spending the night out just so we can have a talk ( that's a whole dif. story...) I've talked to him several times and there's not much of a change. I'm about to be 24, when around him I feel like I'm 12! He's always telling me when to do something and how to do it as if he's my superior. Any thing can set him off, from me watching tv for what he feels is too long or what I choose to watch, to me grabbing something out the fridge and not offer him anything. We argue over the silliest of thing and it turns so serious. Part of it is because I do not like being told what to do and he just can't stop trying to control me in EVERY area of my life. I'm an adult why should I have to listen to him tell me how and when to do anything at all. I'm a parent but I feel like I'm the one being parented.

Tabatha - posted on 01/29/2014

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I understand where you are coming from and I am never one to say give up. Here is my problem. I am about to be 29 and have been with my husband for ten years. I stay at home with two children all day, while he goes to his job. He is the sole bread winner in our family and I would never stand for him belittling me because he was stressed. Do you have anyone who would watch the baby for a night? It seems like the two of you need a night with no interruptions to work things out and make your feelings known. When I had my first child, my husband felt that I did not make time for him anymore. Get it all out in the open and give it a little time to get back to normal. If it hasn't changed in six months I would suggest a trial separation. There is no reason for him to verbally and emotionally abusive to you and you should not put up with it. I had an aunt whose situation started out like this until it escalated to the point where her husband beat her on a daily basis for things like not dusting the china cabinet.

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