Should I or should I not?

Andrea - posted on 07/09/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I am 26 with two children. boy and a girl. I would like to have another one very much so but a few things are nagging at me. One is we only have two bedrooms and cannot relocate considering we just bought the house a year ago. Next is the fact that their are days where I wonder how am i going to make it thru with my two that I have now. I love them to death but sometimes I get a bit stressed. Finally my husband is complelty against the idea of having another one ever... I just want to experience the whole thing one more time that's the reason I never got my tubes tied after the second because I wasnt ready to say no more, i needed the comfort of knowing that I could still have another if I wanted too.

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Felicia Neikolle - posted on 07/10/2009

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My hubby wasn't ready for another one and was just as opposed to it as yours at first. I was so ready as I am gonna be 30 in two years and wanted to be able to be done by then so I was still young enough to enjoy it. After a few months of conversations (no pressuring just casual conversations) he asked me to have my IUD removed so we could start trying. He caught me completely off guard. We are now actively trying for number 3 (our first together though). Just give it time ... and don't worry about thinking the kids are too old to start over ... it all works out in the end.

Andrea - posted on 07/10/2009

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Thank you sara. We have discussed it and he's not ready right now which is fine but he says he wont give me an answer for the future ethier. LOL He's just not ready to make that commitment yet, maybe someday.

Sara - posted on 07/10/2009

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I'm 26 and had my 3rd almost 10 mos ago. Honestly it doesn't feel any differnt than having two. Unlike when you go from 1 to 2, you have to learn how to juggle.Once you can do 2 children, you can handle more. I too would kinda like another on some days but most days, I'm sure I'm done. It's the diapers. When you're sick of diapers you know you're done lol...but I didn't get my tubes tied either. I want to be able to have another the minute we decide to have another (likely never, but I still want my uterus available) Honestly though, if your DH doesn't want one, I'd just wait a little longer and ask again. He might change his mind :)

Colleen - posted on 07/10/2009

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Good luck Andrea.

I personally think the numbe rone kink you need to work out is the situation with your Husband. I had a similiar situation with my Husband as well, the only difference was I was ready and he just wanted to wait a while. So, I waited and now we have been trying for almost a year with no luck and I'm starting to think if we would have tried when I was ready we would already be pregnant (completely irrational thought, I know! LOL) Maybe there is a way you guys could compromise? Maybe if he knows how important it is to you he will be willing to have just one more? As far as sharing a room, Have you thought of maybe making a small space in your room for the new baby? Just long enough for you guys to get a place with bigger space or add on to the house you currently own? Just a couple thoughts! Either way, I hope everything works out for you guys so you BOTH can be happy! Good Luck!

Liana - posted on 07/09/2009

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1. kids sharing a room isnt a crime
2 i have 2 bubs n thinking about numba 3 and wonder how i would to cope with a 3rd
3 child birth is addictive!!
look u need hubbys support. thats whats going to help you cope with 3 monsters also if you can afford another one because if your stressed cos kids sense that stuff. i have 2 boys and would love to have a girl as well. GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR DECISION!!

Andrea - posted on 07/09/2009

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Erin thank u for the advice. My only concern with that is that my daughter is five and I dont feel it would be fair to her to have to share her room with an infant.

Rhonda you have a very valid point at the same time I am 14 yrs older than my brother as well and yes it is easier to have the help but at the same time I remember being the one who was up in the morning with him while my parents stayed in bed and I babysat quite offten and I remeber resenting my parents for that because I was only 14. I'm not sure if i want my kids going thru that feeling like i did. Thank u both for your opinions and I am considering everything everyone tells me.

Rhonda - posted on 07/09/2009

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Just wait it out . You're still young I am 14 years older than my little brother and my mom said it was the easiest because she had help and a babysitter all the time. If you wait they will be able to help instead of being overwhelmed and not being able to do as much with 3 little ones.

Erin - posted on 07/09/2009

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Most importantly is that you sit down and have a serious talk with your husband. This wont only add to your life, but his as well. As far as the extra space goes, my daughter stayed in my room until she was one in her own crib. At that point since you do have a boy and a girl it wont kill your other children to share a room!

Andrea - posted on 07/09/2009

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Thank you so much Crystal. You have actually provided me with hope and it is refreshing to know that someone has been thru this situation exactly as I am experiencing it now.. Thank you.

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