Should I stay or go?

Andrea - posted on 04/15/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Hello, I'm writing because I've honestly never been more confused in my life. I've been with my boyfriend for 3.5 years and we have a 2 year old daughter together. When him and I first got together all we did was drink and party every night. 9 months into our relationship I found out I was pregnant and my life changed over night. His, didn't. He continued to drink leaving me home alone and pregnant (which I admittedly resent him for). Once my daughter was born he did tone it down. He doesn't go out as much and to be honest I don't care if he goes out because its easier to not have him home. We just don't get along, I really feel like I can't stand him. He still drinks every night, even the one night a week that he has to watch our daughter while I work. Recently he quit drinking for 2 weeks, the longest I've ever seen him go without drinking (before I'd never seen him go 2 days) and I feel guilty because I thought if he quit drinking things would be better, but try weren't. He's back to drinking now and I don't know what to do. I so badly want to work things out for my daughter but I don't want her to live with parents that can't stand each other. I can't help but wonder if I ever actually loved him. I was initially attracted to him because he was good looking and we drank together every night after work (we worked in a bar). I want to get married and have more children but I really can't see myself doing those things with him and I don't want to waste anymore time. I feel like i gave this relationship everything I have and I just don't care anymore. He has walked all over me for years. He's used my car (with no license) from the day we started dating acting like it's my responsibility to get him places. he literally throws a fit if I want to use my own car, because he may need it. I left him in January for 3 weeks, I stayed at my parents (5 houses down the road) and he still used my car. He has a way of making me feel guilty if I tell him no. I ended up going back home because it was just to hard to disconnect (did I mention that we work together too?). I really feel miserable at this point but I want to make it work for my daughter if there's any chance. I'm afraid that I'm just not allowing myself to be happy. Or that I just can't be happy with one guy. Recently I have been having dreams about my ex, someone I dated 10 years ago and the only guy to ever treat me well. I find myself daydreaming about him and I feel a lot of guilt over it. I'm so confused. I just want to do the right thing for me and my daughter. I feel like I'm being selfish if I leave him. Do u think my relationship can be saved?

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Amy - posted on 04/18/2014

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I would advice you to move on and try to be happy with someone ealse if you cant see yourself in the future with the person your with then you answered your own question i dated my daughters father for two years before i got pregnant and we would the same we would party and drink and do everything together but i knew deep down that i didnt want to marry him or be with him forever but when i finally made the choice to move on it was to late i had fallen prego and for me that was devastating knowing that i would have a child with a man who i didnt really love but i had feelingband got use to him i taught i would never move on but i did and im fine without him im sure you will be too epecially if he naggs you youll feel lonely or lost for the first month but hey time heals and it maked you stronger dont let a man define you dont be scared to be a single mom if your not happy dont stay hope this was helpful

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