should there be a 2-4 year gap between your babys?

Shannon - posted on 04/25/2009 ( 20 moms have responded )

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I'd like to have another baby soon, but some people keep telling me to keep a 3-4 year difference between both siblings it can start to many fights. Then I hear ti actually keep the ages close together meaning about a year or 2 gap. I'm so lost, all I know is babies are all different, but what is the best thing for me to do since my fiance is in the military should I keep the long gap, or shorten it.

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Divne - posted on 04/26/2009

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2 ME IT WILL BE A GOOD IDEA 2 HAVE A LIL AGE GAP ON YA KIDS. BUT ITS UP 2 U AND YA PARTNER... MY OLDEST GIRL IS 8 MY SECOND GIRL IS 4 AND MY BABY IS 3 WEEKS.

Mary - posted on 04/26/2009

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Quoting Shannon:

should there be a 2-4 year gap between your babys?

I'd like to have another baby soon, but some people keep telling me to keep a 3-4 year difference between both siblings it can start to many fights. Then I hear ti actually keep the ages close together meaning about a year or 2 gap. I'm so lost, all I know is babies are all different, but what is the best thing for me to do since my fiance is in the military should I keep the long gap, or shorten it.



 



 



 






my personal opinion is have them as close together as you can as it makes life easier for u!! They go through the same stages close together and you don't feel like your going back to stage one years later. I have 2 kids one is 7 and the other is a year and a half. I regret having them so far apart. Although I'm only 25 I just feel I'm back to stage one after 6 years and really wish I had of had them close together.

[deleted account]

To be honest, the amount of time between your kids is completely up to you. I have twins that are 9 and an 8 year old boy. So I had 3 kids within 14 months. Then I waited 5 years and had another baby. Now I have 4. How long you wait depends on how much work you feel like doing. Infants (as you know) need constant care. Older siblings tend to want to help out with the younger kids. Simple things like helping you get a diaper or a pair of shoes. Infants can't run for each others shoes. That is what mommy is for. You have to decide what is right for you.

Krista - posted on 04/26/2009

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I agree with some of the posts on here. My sons are 18 months apart and my daughter is 3 years younger than the middle boy. The boys are best friends and worst enemies and it was a bit difficult when they were younger. But, I got a double stroller and things got better. It all depends on whether you want to be changing more than one diaper at a time. That's what it really comes down to.

[deleted account]

I have 16 months between my first 2 and then a 3 year gap and if i am honest i found the c;oser age gap easieralthoug now at 4 & 5 they fight like cat and dog. But since having baby no. 3 I realise how much I missed with the other 2 as my first was so young when I was pregnant again and my 2nd had to take more of a back seat as i had in reality 2 babies, So I guess what i am saying is there are pros and cons, but i am definitely enjoying my 3rd daughter much more than the first 2 :) no one but you really knows the answer..

[deleted account]

if you are a high risk pregnancy, you may want to give it some time. your body needs to heal for awhile after having a baby. I've known too many friends to miscarry when trying to soon after having a baby. If miscarrying is your concern, talk to your doctor about it. He may be able to give you better advice.
I wanted to have another one when my son was 10 months old, but my husband was unsure. We decided to get off birth control and let whatever happen, happen. We weren't trying, we just weren't preventing. I didn't get pregnant till almost a year later. Maybe your hubby will agree to something like this.

Shannon - posted on 04/26/2009

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Well I'd like to have them close, but my fiance thinks its best to have the bigger gap in between, were still talking about it though. It's just harder for me to carry through with the pregnancy I tend to miscarry 3 times before I can actually carry through till the birthing of the 4th time of trying.

[deleted account]

let me also say, it all depends on you and your husband's preferences. If you think you have the patience for a closer age gap then go for it. I do have a friend who's hubby is military and she has a 3 year old, 2 year old, 8 month old and thinks she is pregnant again. It works for her and she loves it.

[deleted account]

With your hubby in the military and you being the only one taking care of the kids for months at a time, I would suggest a good gap. My hubby is military as well and I love the 2 1/2 year gap. The older one is old enough to have some independence, but they are still close enough in age that they can play together.

Shannon - posted on 04/26/2009

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LOL thank you all, you've been a very good help. Elizabeth hope all is well with your hubby and hope he comes back safe :-P..

User - posted on 04/26/2009

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It is up to you but like you said there going to fight at any age i have got a 2 yr old and a nearly 4 month old and my 2 yr old loves it at 1st it is a bit different but thats understanding but it is really up 2 u i think a close gap is good cause they have both got somebody to grow up with.

Sabrina - posted on 04/26/2009

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It is sooo normal for siblings to fight. I have a 1 and 2 year old that are 15 months apart and they like to play with each other but they also like to fight. If you feel ready to have another baby then you will know when its right for you. I personally wish mine were about 2 years apart because its been difficult but I know it will be better as they get older!

Carrie-Anne - posted on 04/26/2009

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Kids all have different personalities, so it is a jamble. I have 4 boys all close together. My first 2 were less then a year apart and they argue and fight sometimes but alot less then most expect.

It's all to do with YOUR consitency, personalities in the home, and sex. Girls I have NO idea.

I know if you don't keep kids busy they will not only fight, get into trouble but they can always gang up on you.

Anyway if I did it again, I wouldn't change it. Just remember when they are all young and close together it's ALOT of work and it never ends. You have too keep them BUSY, that is the key.

Jenny - posted on 04/26/2009

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Its up to you. I have 3 kids very close together they are 6 months, 2 years and 3 years it can be hard work sometimes and the older two argue a bit but most of the time they get on really well, im glad ive had them close together because i handed everything down so all i had to buy was new bottles and a few clothes.

Elizabeth - posted on 04/26/2009

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we have three kidos.... my son 81/2, daughter 7, and daughter 2 (today). the older 2 adore the youngest (though she does get on their nerves occasionally). My 2 older munchkins, while they do argue and try to boss each other, getting along pretty well..... they did great really up till they both got in school. Then friends and such came into play. I'm the oldest of 4.... My sister was born when I was 4, my youngest brother when I was 8. At 15 we adopted the older of my 2 brothers he was 8 at the time (so he is 1 year older than my youngest brotherwho was then 7). My sister and were like fire and ice till about 2 yrs ago (i'm 29 she's 24) when her son was born. My youngest bro and i were always close (i was like his 2nd mom), and my brothers are each other's best friend. So it really varies. My hubby and his brother are 2 yrs 2 weeks apart, they were best friends till high school. So its all a matter of circumstance. It either works or doesnt... there is no way to predict the love/hate relationship of siblings. though the great age difference can be more convenient, like Miss Catherine posted above when they older child is in school makes life with the younger child a tad easier. Ok i'm gonna stop rambling now. Oh BTW my hubby is army, and deployed..... it doesnt make much difference.... even when he was home (before army) it was crazy fun LOL

Rachael - posted on 04/26/2009

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hi shannon .i have 23 months between my two girls and wouldnt change it for the world.We have the odd day that they fight all day,but they are so close and play so nice together.

Katie - posted on 04/26/2009

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My 2 daughters are 2 years and 9 months apart and it seems to be a good age gap: my eldest was old enough to have been potty trained and play independently whilst being young enough to not be too jealous. We'll see how they get on when my youngest is older as she's just 6 months at the moment. The other advantage of waiting a bit longer is your body has the chance to fully recover and I was glad I'd lost all my pregnancy weight from the 1st time before falling pregnant again. But at the end of the day it's yours and your partner's choice at the end of the day.

Sarah - posted on 04/25/2009

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It is up to you. My kids are 14 months a part (1 year old and 2 years old). It can be hard, but they are already really good friends. The fighting between sibling, I think it will happen no matter the age difference is. My brother and I was 2 years, then sister and I are 6 and my younger brother is 10 years younger. We all fought.

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