Sick of feeling old.

Melissia - posted on 06/06/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I was wondering if any of you moms out there have had the same problem and if so what they did about it. I am 29 years old right now. I had my first child when I was 19. My whole life I have been the one who take care of the kids, cleans the house, makes diner, ect. I have never had a chance to just go have fun. I am really starting to feel like I need a change. I love my children more than life so when I want time away from them I feel guilty. I don't really have many friends or anything so I really don't go out anywhere. Someone please help! I feel like I am losing my mind.

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Charlie - posted on 06/08/2009

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wow no need for name calling because your post has only just been noticed sheesh! but yes other mothers do feel they same , i make sure i go out once a month i did feel guilty at first but i relise i need to do it for my sanity , to mix and socialise with other adults and NOT talk babies ,i go out weather i know anyone or not , its great with friends but when your by yourself you meet so many more cool new people so i dont mind either way just be confidant and you will be right you deserve to have a good time after all the hard work you have done !

Michelle - posted on 06/08/2009

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I feel your pain. I am also 29 and have two kids, a 4 year old boy and an 8 month old girl. My husband is constantly traveling for work and I have no family in the area so I have them completely to myself alot. Sometimes I find myself watching the clock and willing it to be 8 so they can go to bed and I can have some quiet. When my husband is around, I decided to join the gym. Nothing gets agression and tension out better then working up a good sweat. Plus it has been great for my post baby body! I feel guilty wanting time alone, but it is important for your sanity! Even grocery shopping by myself is a treat! I suggest regular haircuts or manicures...they give you a little break and some pampering. Good luck and know you are definately not alone!

Deidre - posted on 06/08/2009

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I just saw this post myself so I am going to respond to the original post.

While I'm not 29 and have just recently had my first child, I have definitely learned that 'mommy time' is a must! I make sure that my daughter goes to bed about 2hrs before I do so that I have time that isn't dictated (I know, bad choice of a word lol) by her, where I can basically do anything I want.

I have also joined a site called meetup.com which I highly recommend! Hopefully you can find a group in your area with people that have the same interests as you so that you have someone to talk to and hang out with. I've joined a group of other stay at home moms myself on there and it's great to have someplace to take my daughter to play with other kids and I can talk with other moms about anything. They also have a 'moms night out' once a month and it starts after my daughter's bedtime so I don't have to worry about someone else trying to put her to bed (which is impossible by the way... I've done it every single day since the day she was born, I'm the only one that feeds her as well). It helps that I'm able to go out for a couple hours after she goes to bed so I definitely suggest doing that! Get out of the house for a couple hours after the kids are in bed to do anything you want... leave the husband at home hehe.

Please don't feel guilty about wanting time away from the kids. You are still a person besides 'mom'. It is good for the kids as well to have time away from their parents to learn other atmospheres and learn to listen to other adults besides their mom and dad. It will help make you a better and more relaxed mom to have some time away.

Christy - posted on 06/08/2009

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I have never felt this way...I just had my first last year and I am 26...due for my 2nd in two weeks....So I was able to experience the "party" thing.

My mother had my brother at 19 and then three more by 29. She has said that she felt the same way. She spent most of her life taking care of kids and our father. Caring for the house and not her self. When we were all older..she finally went out and experienced life. She travels every where and always keeps busy.

I make sure that I have time to my self to do what I want. I guess I am very lucky because my husband and I are very accepting of the fact that we each need our time alone. I would suggest that you take any amount of time that U can..even if your house work is delayed...and do something for you. Read a book or magazine...surf the web...something like that if U cant leave the house. Its very important to make sure that U take care of yourself because your no good to anyone else otherwise. I hope this helped some!!!!

[deleted account]

i know what you mean about feeling guilty. i have a problem similar to that. my little boy is attatched to my hip and does not enjoy being with his dad if he knows i am still in the house so he just screams for me and it is heart breaking. but you just gotta do it ya know. every mom needs time to themselves otherwise you will absolutely lose your mind. i think i am in the same boat as you.

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Alex - posted on 06/08/2009

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I only feel old, because I was in labour on my 27th birthday, and I feel like I missed it. It's like I've lost a year somewhere. I do get the opportunity to get out and about by myself so have never really felt like I'm in a grind. Sometimes the housework gets me down, especially when it takes all day and then the hubby comes home and messes it up again, but boys will be boys! I hope you find something that works for you :D

Kate CP - posted on 06/08/2009

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Well, I didn't see this post until just now so I wouldn't say I'm a coward. However, there is nothing wrong with wanting time away from the kiddos. What I sometimes do, and my mom used to do it when my sister and I were still kids, was take a weekend off. Leave the kids at home with the hubby and go stay at a hotel for a few nights. You can hog the bed, sleep in really late, watch whatever you want to watch on TV, go shopping...tons of stuff. There's nothing wrong with wanting some personal time. It makes you a better Mommy if you give yourself some time off so you can be more attentive to your kids. :)

Melissia - posted on 06/08/2009

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Oh I see that everyone is to coward to respond to this so I will. Ever mother at some point feels a little trapped or has some feelings she is ashamed of I geuss I amm just the only one who is women enough to expess it.

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