Sick of stereotypes....is anyone else?

Adjoa Anita - posted on 06/15/2009 ( 17 moms have responded )

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When i tell people i have kids. Their respone is do you get help? Are you still with the father? Are you still in education? What do you do for money etc... Im fed up with people creating stereotypes and assumptions just because i am 20 with two kids. It doesn't mean my life has to end and i have done something wrong!

17 Comments

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Charlie - posted on 06/17/2009

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Quoting Sharon:

I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND AND AM GETTING REALLY SICK OF IT. our bodies are designed to have kids in our early 20's all us young mum's should get together and criticise theolder mums! i was married straight after finishing school i have had nearly 4 babies in 4 years i take better care of my kids than alot of older mums i know and just think well still be young when our kids are all grown up we can have our "life" than


EXACTLY!!!   when i was in labour all the midwives asked me how old i was , when i replied 24 they all said that was fantastic because our 20's is prime time for women to give birth !

Xena - posted on 06/17/2009

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i'm with you on this, totally, i got married when i was 18 after finishing school to a older man, we have a 8 an 6 year old and my hubbies son from a previous, who is only 4 years younger than me! I'm 27 now and we have seen so many so called conventional couples split up etc.. where as we are still going strong. As for young mothers I,m glad i had my two young, especially when i look at older women an see them struggling to keep up with the kids pace!

LeeAnn - posted on 06/17/2009

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I know what you mean. I am 22, married for almost 4 years, and have 2 kids. My oldest is 2 1/2 and my youngest is 14 months. People assume that when you are young, you have no idea how to mother a child. My husband and I are struggling, but our kids always have whatever they need, and have never done without. We want to have a little boy, later. Our oldest is Autistic, so anytime people hear that we want more kids they say "Really? Oh, Don't you have enough to deal with?" or "Please don't have any more babies." I HATE that!!! It is our decision!!! Just because we have an Autistic kid, we shouldn't have anymore?! I think I am in a better position to know what I can and can't handle!! Just smile and say "I think I have got it from here, ok?" People are always gonna judge us, it doesn't make it right, or fair...but you know what you can and can't do, not them.

Sharon - posted on 06/17/2009

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I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND AND AM GETTING REALLY SICK OF IT. our bodies are designed to have kids in our early 20's all us young mum's should get together and criticise theolder mums! i was married straight after finishing school i have had nearly 4 babies in 4 years i take better care of my kids than alot of older mums i know and just think well still be young when our kids are all grown up we can have our "life" than

Charlie - posted on 06/17/2009

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the only time i experianced steryotype was when i was preggers and a grandmother asked if i was married i said no ( but engaged ) she went " oh well i SPOSE you dont have to these days and gave me a LOOK " i ust laughed

Dusty - posted on 06/16/2009

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I agree girl!!! its always "do they have the same father?" just because we arent over 30 does not mean we cant be great mothers :)

Amelia - posted on 06/16/2009

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I used to hate hearing "Why didn't you get married?" Even worse was "Whos the daddy?" Women are born to be mothers, it shouldn't matter when as long as they love and care for their kids. I lost a few friends who wanted to group me into a stereotype of a young single mom who didn't take proper care of her kid and shouldn't have had him in the first place. I knew I was better than that and so are you.

Melissa - posted on 06/16/2009

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I know how you all feel I got it until I began work at a big bank in our small town, then finally got respect... but my friends great mom she is 19 and good with her son and fine with money gets treated racist like ... her skin is dark she is not Native but some people think she is so she has a way harder time finding a job and good oportunities its ridiculous...colour..age...do not make a person it is just par of them ...who cares if she is native,even though she is not she is still a great mom

Emily - posted on 06/15/2009

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i get that all the time!!! im currently pregnant with my 3rd and ive just turned 25 my eldest daughter is 7 in 3 days. i have been happily married for 5 1/2 years. me and my husband have dealt with alot as are youngest freya who is 3 1/2 is disabled and i think we deal with everything thats been thrown at us better than alot of older parents would. age has nothing 2 do with how good a parent u can be its down 2 the individual whether your 18 or 40. sorry rant over!!!! xx

Tina - posted on 06/15/2009

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I agree with you! Funny how plp assume that I am 18. I have a 2 year old daughter and I am 27 years old and people look shock when I tell them my age... Ms. Lady don't worry about people thinking negative or saying negative things to you just keep doing you and handling your business- Stay Blessed

Monique - posted on 06/15/2009

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I agree wit you completely im a young mother also im now expecting my second child and the comments i get is another one? is it with the same dad? are you two still together? Are u workin? its the worst sometimes

Melissa - posted on 06/15/2009

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I totally know what all of you are saying! I am 28 with four kids ages ranging from 7-1. I get so tired of hearing you aren't old enough to have all those kids. I mean really how old am I supposed to be? My kids are great and do not live any different than any other kids. People are so quick to judge but oh well! They are all just jealous if you ask me.

Alicia - posted on 06/15/2009

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I know how you all feel. I'm 26 and have two daughters. They look exactly opposite of each other, my oldest has light skin and blue eyes and my youngest has dark skin and brown eyes. People automatically assume they have different fathers but they don't. One is all daddy and the other is all me. I also get the you don't look old enough to have two kids. My oldest is going into 2nd grade and all the mothers are older than me and they make me feel so out of place, as if I have no idea what being a mother is about. And believe me I do!!!!!!!!!

Amber - posted on 06/15/2009

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I get this ALL the time. I'm 22 with 2 kids. They are 14 months apat. and because they are so close they assume they dont have the same father. which really gets on my nerves.

App+7mnejhu - posted on 06/15/2009

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LoL.. Tell me about it I'm 24 with 4 kids and I'm doing great!! I don't even pay attention to negativity chances are there the ones with issues. Having kids is a blessing in it own and not every person is meant to be a mother so keep you're head up and keep doing what you're doing!!!

Becky - posted on 06/15/2009

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ye i agree with you both. im sick of hearing, "you dont look old enough to have a child", or when i tell people i have my own house they say "you dont live with your parents? oh you must be in governemnt housing then right?" wrong, just becasue i was 18 when i had my son doesnt mean i cant look after him or myself just as good as a "normal" aged mum

Sarah - posted on 06/15/2009

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Im 26 and Im also a widow of 2 kids. And people always assume I cant do it without that extra income. And Im with you its old to hear it over and over. You just need to keep your head up. And screw all the people that want to say stupid things. And how could it be wrong when theyre a gift from god. If he trusted you enough to give them to you then good for you girl.

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