single 22 and pregnant

Rachel - posted on 03/13/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Ahh where do i start? First i will introduce myself. Im 22 years old, 27 weeks pregnant and single (since 3 months along) I'm not really sure why we broke up but it was mainly because of differences. I fell pregnant 5 months into our relationship and he is 25 and just not ready for a baby/cant seem to get over the situation that i kept the baby etc. Well in the past three months ive seen him three times but each time he acts so loving. Holds my hand, kisses my belly, talks to the belly, and we laugh and have a good time together (well at least this was the case when i saw him 3 days ago, he lit candles, put on a film, and ordered the two of us dinner. Yet usually in between those months he dissappears. He used to say he cares for the baby but cant say the same about me and needless to say that heartbroke me. Everyone tells me to cut him off but in my heart i truly feel like he will come around. He blames the reason we dont see each other on me never asking him to but i just dont want to force something he doens't want. When i went over monday it was probably the best time we have had together in a while because we didnt bring up drama and both were laughing and having a good time and the reason we even got to see each other then was because he thought i was dating someone else and asked if it was serious with him ? (wtf i know) so then he asked if he could come over and i said yes but long stroy short i ended up going to his place. ANYWAY my question here is..i want to see him and work on things...is it to much if i asked him if he wanted to come over tomorrow night after work? or should i ask him if his free this weekend ot go to a 4d sonogram with me?

I love him and this is so hard, and how he acts when we are together is all over the place. (we didnt kiss or anything) but still..

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Kyrie - posted on 03/13/2014

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If he wanted to be there more, let me tell you that he definitely would be. You cannot wait for him. These guys can takes years to decide to grow up if they ever do. You're just asking for all of those years of pain for both your child and yourself. I've met so many guys like this. They can't change. You can't change them either. It just is how it is. Find a guy who is already mature enough for the situation you are in. Being able to get along because you are avoiding issues is not healthy. It won't work. Guys get territorial, it does not mean that they actually want you themselves. I know he is sending you mixed signals, but the very clear signal is to move on or he will keep leading you on until you do. You can try what you want, but it will be a waste of time and energy. I'm not saying any of this to be harsh, but I had two children by men like this and many male friends who behave this way towards other women. I know exactly how it works. It's always the same too. *shrug* Wishing you and your baby the best. There are much better men in the sea, I promise you this.

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Kennishia - posted on 03/13/2014

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Hey Rachel! Congrats on your pregnancy ! With regards to your question if you really want to try and talk to him I'd say do it over the phone from now on just to avoid the overwhelming feelings and temptations when your with him. It seems like he only cared to ask to see you recently because he felt like you were interested in someone else , but that's not him loving you sadly that's just like he wants to know he can have you if he wants and doesn't want anyone else to have you. My advice to you is to think solely about you and your baby. Your well being, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically and financially. Be independent. Let him know that your not depending on him because it's true that he's not supporting you in anyway, he's just stringing you along. If he sees you being independent and not trying to chase him he'll either have more respect for you or he will just keep doing what he's doing. Do not let him crush your self worth or dignity. You will make it without him if he doesn't want to be serious with you. I know you love him but you need a man who loves you enough to sacrifice his own life for you and your child. He's not that man from what your saying. You really don't want to have another child with him and he still keep doing this to you. You want a better example of a stable parent and relationship for your child. Praying for the best for you sweety. Talk to me anytime if you like!

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