single mum with two toddlers, a four year old girl, three year old boy and struggling, anyone else out there?

Niaph - posted on 06/03/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I have been a single mum, pretty much since the beginning of my daughters pregnancy...when she was six weeks old i met a man, who seemed perfect (at the time)....months down the line, i found myself pregnant and in a violent relationship, he manipulated my whole situation i didnt stand a chance. I suffer from depression and anxiety attacks from a previous five year abusive relationship. I now find myself a single mother with a four year old daughter and three year old son and am struggling!. I was sexually abused as a child and i am so scared my daughter has my personality as a child and want to keep her safe as she can be more giving than taking (as i was at her age), I spend more time alone with my son as my daughters father (a friend/ex of mine) takes her every oportunity he has (every weekend and when he has hols)..on the other hand my sons father has nothing to do with him as he has been in and out of his life since the beginning due to his addiction to drugs, i have given him so many chances now, i feet he's let him down to may times and asked him to go through the proper channels for controlled access if he wanted to see him. That followed a load of threats but no action on his part. I am stuggling to sleep and have wine most nights to relax..I am soooo stressed out and will be returing to work ( as a nurse) in the next couple of weeks, i feel and am very alone, isolated and feel i am being a crap mum....all i want to do is enjoy my children, make them feel happy and loved and not nagging them all the time, and also feel happy in myself!

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