Single & (very) young mommy to be

Joy - posted on 06/04/2013 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I'm 19 years old and I am a month pregnant . I unfortunately had to break off the disrespectful and toxic relationship with my baby's much older father . He plays head games with me, and i'm vulnerable enough to fall for them . He jerks me around, wanting me one day, and wants nothing to do with me or his unborn child the next . He is more concerned about forgetting about me and finding another woman to fill a void in his life . This hurts me more than anything, because i wish he would focus on his child . He is a middle aged man, and i never expected him to act this way ...

Out of all of my pregnancy cravings , i crave his hands rubbing my belly the most . I miss him one day and then feel strong enough to forget him the next and just focus on my child .

Most of my loved ones suggest i kick him to the curb , leave him there, and simply collect child support .



But this strong woman inside of me, wants to give our relationship one more shot and work harder this time .

Very confused, feeling alone, and frankly i need alot of advice -____-

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Jen - posted on 06/07/2013

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If your conscience tells you to give it another shot, then put it all out on the table. You can bring anyone back or improve your relationship with kind words and honesty. Even if you do not want to be with this person in the long term, it is worth fighting to stay together with your baby's father until the right path becomes clear.

I do not know if you are a religious person, but God feels our torment and wants to relieve us of our pain. If you want this man to fall deeply in love with you and treat you the way you deserved to be treated, then please ask for God's help. I made a template in case someone needs help thinking of what to say:

"Dear God. You are the greatest; the creator, sustainer, and cherisher of the universe. Thank you for all the blessings in my life. I am asking you for help today, Lord. I really love (....) and I need him to show me his true intentions. Can you please help form a mutual love and understanding between us. Please forgive me for my shortcomings and if I have treated (...) harshly. If it not meant to be then please grant me the wisdom to know what to do next. Please increase my faith and help me become a better person. I seek a stronger connection with you Lord. I ask for your help to bring peace to my heart. Thank you.."

Samantha - posted on 06/07/2013

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Hey! First of all I totally respect that at 19 you have been able to kick him to the curb. When I was 4 months pregnant I made my boyfriend move out. He moved back in when I was about 7 months pregnant and then we stayed together. I am going through the pain of watching his life spiral out of control and feeling the heartbreak associated with it.

From my own experience you are always going to want to try and make it work but you have 8 months to heal and then be the best mommy you can be to your child.

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Omaima - posted on 06/07/2013

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Once you have the baby you won't be able to tolerate any selfishness on his part. Your baby will consume all of your time, he is either there to help or simply not. Think about yourself and your baby and seek the emotional support you need from your family and friends because you have 8 wonderful moody months ahead of you, you will need all the support you can get .. Good Luck !!

Jen - posted on 06/07/2013

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To Areena.. I am in America and that is the type of man I had to endure. It was a horrible, abusive relationship, but things improve when he found God. Yes, he always was a "Christian", but he did not really believe. If you really want something then pray and perhaps God will give it to you? Pray and ask for knowledge and guidance; what direction to take. If you really want this man then let him know 100% and ask God to bring him closer to you. You are to part amicably as friends or stay together.

Charity - posted on 06/07/2013

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you deserve better than what that man gives you.i suggest you leave him and learn to happy by yourself.you can start by rubbing your belly with your hand yourself.make your baby very familiar with you before he is born by making him get used to your touch.you ll be fine dear.

Ann - posted on 06/06/2013

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ask him if he's willing to put everything aside and focus on your companionship and as new parents, and if he says no, then i would forget about him. It's best to be able to move on as a strong woman without a man like him potentially holding you back from greater things because he can't make up his mind if he wants to stick around or not. If he makes himself clear he doesn't want you and his unborn child, make it clear to him that you'll grant him that.

Areena - posted on 06/04/2013

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Hmm dear Joy i live in Pakistan and honestly women here donor enjoy the liberty or freedom of breaking up a marriage/ relationship even if its an utmost disaster.. When I was pregnant my husband shunt me out of his life never asked a single day how I was feeling.. What the doc is saying..Instead he used to fight with me n abuse me.. Everyday of that pregnancy I used to wish I lived abroad n had the chance to leave my loser husband and find a man who would love n cherish me.. Joy God has granted u that opportunity don't waste it on men like him.. I know u it would be hard forgetting the intimacy and love moments but u have to be strong not for itself but for the kid.. He deserves protection from such men.. Concentrate on how u will cherish the baby play with him laugh with him..motherhood is a complete different phase where u would require support n strength not unpredictable self centred ppl.. Devote urself to the baby and trust me u will forget any him soon and find someone much better...

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