Slapping

ELIZABETH - posted on 09/25/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My Daughter is just over 1 and we started to give her time outs when she is naughty or getting into something dangeous. When I ask her to give me a hug to get down, she slaps me in the face. We don't hit or fight in our house so I'm not sure how she learned this. Any advice on how to get her to stop hitting me. I don't spank or hit my children. Thanks

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Brittany - posted on 09/26/2009

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Quoting Chelsea:

I would love to help you with this issue. Could you give me some more information. Where does she get put into timeout and for how long? Timeout isn't age appropriate for until a child is 18 months at the youngest. Redirecting a child's attention is much more effective in stopping them from getting into something dangerous. Also what kind of reaction do you give when she slaps you. If you simply walk away I can guarantee that giving her no attention will stop the behavior. Acknowledging the behavior means giving attention. At such a young age she is best dealt with using redirecting. She is merely trying to learn through exploration and isn't trying to be "naughty."


We have successfully been using time outs since my son turned 15 months old. There is not such things as age appropriate in these atages as every child is at a differnt stage at a different age. Obviously the child at 1 understands time out is no fun and is expressing her displeasure by slapping mommy.



As for the slapping mommy part, when my son (now 19 months old)goes to hit me when he's upset, which isn't very often anymore, I step out of his way and he usually falls onto his face and I do not help him up. Now if you know your child is going to slap you, grab her hand as she goes to make the slap, gently but sternly grab her chin look her in the eye and tell her NO. WE DO NOT HIT. And say it slowly, distintly and in a regular voice. She will learn a) hitting is not the answer and b) never hit mom



It worked beautfully with my son from about 11 months on and he only tries to hit now after he's spent time at his older friend's house and seen his playmate being allowed to hit his mom when he doesn't get his way. It's frusterating. ANd it breaks my heart when I swat my son so I leave swatting only when he is repeating dangerous behavior that he has been warned about like touching plugs and puling on cords from the walls etc. I think toddlers and babbies are really just too darn young to get that pain equals bad behavior and instead they just get upset because it hurt. When I swat my son there is no force behind it but because I rarely do it, he understands the significance of it.



 



I hope this helps!



 

Rachel - posted on 09/25/2009

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make a sad face tell her that she hurt mommy.then exsplain that we dont hit.this worked very well for my 3 oldest.sometimes i did not know if they understood.but after about a week or two they stoped.hope this helps.

Chelseaszidik - posted on 09/25/2009

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I would love to help you with this issue. Could you give me some more information. Where does she get put into timeout and for how long? Timeout isn't age appropriate for until a child is 18 months at the youngest. Redirecting a child's attention is much more effective in stopping them from getting into something dangerous. Also what kind of reaction do you give when she slaps you. If you simply walk away I can guarantee that giving her no attention will stop the behavior. Acknowledging the behavior means giving attention. At such a young age she is best dealt with using redirecting. She is merely trying to learn through exploration and isn't trying to be "naughty."

Kelley - posted on 09/25/2009

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my son is 13.....going on 14 months old and he does the same thing. I spank his butt or his hand though whenever he does something wrong, and so im pretty sure he is just "mocking mommy" but everytime he does it...i grab his hand and i say "no! we do not hit mommy!" in a very firm voice, and he stops. he doesnt do it AS much as he used to so it's getting better. It is most common for children to be mad at the person who is diciplining them because they don't like it...of course...haha what child does....so they get mad and do the only thing they know how and thats to use their hands to express their feelings....just let her know that it's not okay to hit and it will get better! I promise!

Loretta - posted on 09/25/2009

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This is what a friend of mine did with her daughter: right after she hits you grab her arm and look her in face be sure to make eye contact and tell her "No we don't hit mommy, do you understand" or something like that,you can say it hurts your feelings or isn't nice, just be stern and consistant. Make sure she's looking at you the whole time. Then ask her to hug you or tell you sorry and hug you once she does what you ask then tell her you love her and put her down. It took a few times but she learned and was never hit or spanked. I hope it works for you.

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