Sleeping alone

Christa - posted on 07/10/2009 ( 19 moms have responded )

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I can't seem to get my 3yo to sleep all night in her own room. She is always waking up and coming into my room while I am sleeping!! I'm getting tired of not having my own bed to sleep in.. She needs to be on her own!!! How do i get her to sleep in her bed all night?! I've done everything I knew, and even tried the tips from nanny 911!!!!

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Felicia Neikolle - posted on 07/10/2009

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Quoting Christa:

well se, ive tried to put her back in her own room.. I've watched alot of nanny 911 and tried alot of what they said.. nothing has seemed to work, she still wakes up crying... if i lock my door, she screams and wakes the hole house up!! and this child has made my ears bleed before during a screaming fit....she broke her nightlight one day so we took it out.. I took down the hammocs of stuffies i had in there, and took almost everything that would scare her, out..She always tells me she wants to sleep with me. Even tho we tell her that papa has his own room, mommy has her own room, and baby has her own room... I'm so lost:( and on the air mattress thing... shes got a toddler bed.. and we dont have an air mattress..


I understand that she has a toddler bed and air mattresses aren't that expensive.  But until she will stay in her bed the air mattress is a possible solution.  My daughter had a toddler bed too ... but she always wanted to sleep with me.  Putting her on the air mattress made her still "with me" but not in my bed ... and the transitions got easier b/c she got more comfortable with the air mattress.  Hope you can get it figured out soon ...

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Felicia Neikolle - posted on 07/10/2009

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On a different note of this topic ... I've bribed my kids to sleep in my bed/room this week! lol ... my hubby is out of town on business and I hate sleeping alone. I can't stand being w/o him anyway but to sleep w/o him is the worst ... even with them here next to me ... it still takes me forever to get to sleep ... there may come a day you want her to want to sleep with you so at the same time treasure that she's that close to you.

Ashley - posted on 07/10/2009

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Maybe you could try to give her something of yours. Give her a stuffed animal or blanket or shirt to sleep with. It will have your scent and maybe she won't feel alone. You can try to tell her that you slept with this when you started to sleep in your own bed in your own room and let her know that it's not just her that's had to go through this. All big girls do it and whatever you give her is how you dealt with it. She might respond better to a situation that you went through since all little girls want to be just like mommy.

Angela - posted on 07/10/2009

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Quoting Christa:


..... but on top of this problem, I'm soon to be moving into a 1bedroom untill we get another place fixed up..so any way things happen, she will end up back in my room, and i wonder if that is what is keeping me from starting all this.....





This being said, many of the sleep doctors suggest to not make any changes unless you have about 3 months to keep things consistant; such as moving, that will create chaos for her. A book my girlfriends and I love is Healthy Sleep Habbits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth, M.D. (3rd edition). He has wonderful suggestions for all ages.  How are you putting her to bed? Do you kind of hang out in there as she's falling asleep? Or read and leave?

Christa - posted on 07/10/2009

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well she gives papa hugs and kisses, grabs 3 books that i agree on, gets read to, sings me twinkle twinkle(there is a start in a book and then she bursts into song) we read 5 little monkeys together, i make it into a song and she says the no more monkeys jumping on the bed part...then i read her mickey takes a nap and change the words to bedtime..she gets hugs n kisses, i go get the rest of her things like her babydolls and a sippycup... give her more hugs n kisses, then leave, then papa goes in again for hugs and kisses.. and most the time, the only fight i have with her is that she loves to be read too, and i cant read every book she owns or I'd fall asleep!! LOL!

Angela - posted on 07/10/2009

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Quoting Christa:


..... but on top of this problem, I'm soon to be moving into a 1bedroom untill we get another place fixed up..so any way things happen, she will end up back in my room, and i wonder if that is what is keeping me from starting all this.....





This being said, many of the sleep doctors suggest to not make any changes unless you have about 3 months to keep things consistant; such as moving, that will create chaos for her. A book my girlfriends and I love is Healthy Sleep Habbits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth, M.D. (3rd edition). He has wonderful suggestions for all ages.  How are you putting her to bed? Do you kind of hang out in there as she's falling asleep? Or read and leave?

Angela - posted on 07/10/2009

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I totally agree with these two. I've come to notice, nothing is easy or pleasant when it comes to breaking habbits for adults or children. Perhaps in the others rooms you will want to put some big fans in there to make white noise, so when your 3 year old has her tantrums they won't wake up so easily. If you don't have a fan, barrow from neighbors or family/ friends (make sure to clean them before using because of air quality). As far as the air matress, look on craigslist or barrow from a friend or neighbor. You do have to put your foot down sooner or later, and this seems like a good way of weaning (in my opnion). Good luck!

Christa - posted on 07/10/2009

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Quoting Kristen:

One other thing I might suggest. I saw where she broke her night light so you took it out of the room. Could you replace with a dimmer switch so that she has some light. Our boys' rooms all have dimmers. They are really nice because they can't break it! I also have soothing music playing for them. Just a few other thoughts I had.


i can't, its a rental we live in... but she is use to sleeping in the dark.. we have a lap thingy outside our windows so that lets a decent amount of light in at night, and my room gets alot darker then her room..mostly because i have a carport blocking the light... and my cell phone charging is about all the light i like in there... im half deciding to change her rooms and see if that helps any..... but on top of this problem, I'm soon to be moving into a 1bedroom untill we get another place fixed up..so any way things happen, she will end up back in my room, and i wonder if that is what is keeping me from starting all this.....

Kristen - posted on 07/10/2009

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One other thing I might suggest. I saw where she broke her night light so you took it out of the room. Could you replace with a dimmer switch so that she has some light. Our boys' rooms all have dimmers. They are really nice because they can't break it! I also have soothing music playing for them. Just a few other thoughts I had.

Kristen - posted on 07/10/2009

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I am sorry this is so hard for you. My hubby and I decided from day one that our bed was just that, ours. The kids have their own room and that is where they sleep, and have from the beginning. We haven't had this issue. But one thing that I might also suggest is to put a baby gate in her door. All of our bedrooms are on the second floor, so once my 2 1/2 yo was in a toddler bed, we started doing that for safety reasons as we didn't want him up in the middle of the night and falling down the stairs. Like the previous posts suggested, she will scream and fuss, but not in your ears! :) She will lay herselft down and fall asleep. Hearing your own child screaming is a terrible thing, but sometimes to break habits, you need to. I hope this might help! Good luck!

Christa - posted on 07/10/2009

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lol, if she is still doing this by 4 id start locking HER door...lol...but 11!! goodness woman!

Ashley - posted on 07/10/2009

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Quoting Jennifer:

my bff is having this exact problem. there is no easy or pleasant way to say this but you're gonna have to let her scream it out. it should have been nipped in the butt day 1 it happened. you're going to have to explain to the other members in the home that you're trying to break your daughter of this horrible habit, its gonna take time & i really need your support through this. hearing your child screaming @ 2am is no easy feat. her room should be the safest room in the entire house. put a gate in front of her door, turn on hall light or bathroom light, lock your door, put cotton balls in your ears & deal with it. we're doing same thing w/our son now. its sucks!! but i know if i do it now, when he's 13, he wont think he can get away with shenanegans like this :) pls, stay strong, you're doing this for your daughter (and your sanity!).



I shall be your inspiration to keep at this....I slept in my parents room until I was 11!!! THATS A LONG TIME! My parents didnt have one nights rest from me for 11 yrs!!! Keep that in your mind the next time you want to give up and bring her to your bed LOL

Christa - posted on 07/10/2009

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Quoting Jennifer:

my bff is having this exact problem. there is no easy or pleasant way to say this but you're gonna have to let her scream it out. it should have been nipped in the butt day 1 it happened. you're going to have to explain to the other members in the home that you're trying to break your daughter of this horrible habit, its gonna take time & i really need your support through this. hearing your child screaming @ 2am is no easy feat. her room should be the safest room in the entire house. put a gate in front of her door, turn on hall light or bathroom light, lock your door, put cotton balls in your ears & deal with it. we're doing same thing w/our son now. its sucks!! but i know if i do it now, when he's 13, he wont think he can get away with shenanegans like this :) pls, stay strong, you're doing this for your daughter (and your sanity!).


hahaa i liked that one! LOL! I just wish it was that easy... One tantrum let to me going to the ER from my eardrum almost ruptering... it was alittle after she turned 2... yup, a 2yo made my ears bleed... its annoying

Felicia Neikolle - posted on 07/10/2009

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moving her bed might work ... the key is to give her the security of you being there without her having to actually be next to you ... once she gets used to being in her bed and sleeps through the night w/o trying to get into your bed then move it back into her room and possibly lay in her bed on the floor or something until she passes out. It may make for some long nights when you first move her back into her room but within a couple months she should be fine on her own in there.

Christa - posted on 07/10/2009

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Quoting Felicia Neikolle:



Quoting Christa:

well se, ive tried to put her back in her own room.. I've watched alot of nanny 911 and tried alot of what they said.. nothing has seemed to work, she still wakes up crying... if i lock my door, she screams and wakes the hole house up!! and this child has made my ears bleed before during a screaming fit....she broke her nightlight one day so we took it out.. I took down the hammocs of stuffies i had in there, and took almost everything that would scare her, out..She always tells me she wants to sleep with me. Even tho we tell her that papa has his own room, mommy has her own room, and baby has her own room... I'm so lost:( and on the air mattress thing... shes got a toddler bed.. and we dont have an air mattress..





I understand that she has a toddler bed and air mattresses aren't that expensive.  But until she will stay in her bed the air mattress is a possible solution.  My daughter had a toddler bed too ... but she always wanted to sleep with me.  Putting her on the air mattress made her still "with me" but not in my bed ... and the transitions got easier b/c she got more comfortable with the air mattress.  Hope you can get it figured out soon ...





what if i moved her bed into my room? its light enuff..

Jennifer - posted on 07/10/2009

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my bff is having this exact problem. there is no easy or pleasant way to say this but you're gonna have to let her scream it out. it should have been nipped in the butt day 1 it happened. you're going to have to explain to the other members in the home that you're trying to break your daughter of this horrible habit, its gonna take time & i really need your support through this. hearing your child screaming @ 2am is no easy feat. her room should be the safest room in the entire house. put a gate in front of her door, turn on hall light or bathroom light, lock your door, put cotton balls in your ears & deal with it. we're doing same thing w/our son now. its sucks!! but i know if i do it now, when he's 13, he wont think he can get away with shenanegans like this :) pls, stay strong, you're doing this for your daughter (and your sanity!).

Christa - posted on 07/10/2009

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well se, ive tried to put her back in her own room.. I've watched alot of nanny 911 and tried alot of what they said.. nothing has seemed to work, she still wakes up crying... if i lock my door, she screams and wakes the hole house up!! and this child has made my ears bleed before during a screaming fit....she broke her nightlight one day so we took it out.. I took down the hammocs of stuffies i had in there, and took almost everything that would scare her, out..She always tells me she wants to sleep with me. Even tho we tell her that papa has his own room, mommy has her own room, and baby has her own room... I'm so lost:( and on the air mattress thing... shes got a toddler bed.. and we dont have an air mattress..

Alisha - posted on 07/10/2009

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My son has just started to sleep in a toddler bed in his own room. What I do at night is at bedtime I will put in his favorite movie Blues Clues and he goes to sleep with it. Once the movie is over it goes off but I keep the blue screen on so when he does wake up he has kind of a night light to keep him from getting scared. I am not sure why she is waking up at night if it is because of a dream or habit. My advice would be to put her back in her bed in her room when she tries to get into bed with you. I do with stephen and I always have a gate up so when he wakes up he can play if he wants and he will also be safe in his room which is childproofed. I have heard that reading a book will also help little one go back to sleep. and tell her that you are in your own room and is not going anywhere. She might be making sure that you are still there because when she wakes up she is alone. Hope this helps you!!

Felicia Neikolle - posted on 07/10/2009

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Try putting an air mattress at the foot of your bed for her to sleep on ... that way she is in your room but not in your bed ... then in a few months start locking your door with the air mattress in the living room near her room ... after a few months of this stop putting the air mattress out. This broke my daughter ... hope it helps you.

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