So confused :(

De - posted on 10/21/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I now have a 3 month old baby boy who I love so much and would do anything for! I've been with the dad for 3 years now and he's been in college out of town the majority of it. We planned our baby after having a miscarriage. We were both so excited!! Well I was.. Come may of 2013 I found out this past college year he had slept with 4 other randoms and messed around with 3.. I was completely heartbroken! I truly thought I had it all! My man being done school, moving in together, having our baby. Than I get thrown that. But he still claims he loves me and wants everything to work out. I had my babe in July and I moved in with him to be a family.. After my baby was about a week it was like the novelty of having a son to him wore off. He would sit on his phone or computer when he got home from work rather than play and talk with his son. He would expect me to have everything done. (My son doesn't sleep so I'm up all night) do men not understand?!?! I work 24/7 not 12 hours like him. He of course would pull the "I'll change". Yet he will be good for awhile than its all about him. Recently I moved back to my moms with my baby. And we are still "seeing each other" but I constantly worry now that he has the house to himself that he's cheating again. Whenever I want to talk about stuff that happened ( I'm a talker to deal with things). He will push it away. He doesn't want to ever talk and always just says. "It happened I shouldn't have done it but nothing we can do now about it". He doesn't understand that actions speak louder than words.. If it wasn't for my son I would have probably left him months ago!! But me and my bf both come from broken families and I do not wish that upon my child!! I don't know what to do any more. He's always choosing himself and what he wants to do over his son :(. Ex: the other night we were all hanging out having a family night and while sitting there together he went and made other plans to go drink at a friends and I tried to talk to him about it but nope mind was made and he left me and his son. But than of course the next day is apologetic and wanting to hang out :(. He's taken me for a total roller coaster! We don't deserve to be his second choice all the time. Family comes first and he doesn't get it :'(. Ladies please no harsh words. But I don't know what to do anymore. And I need to talk. I want what we use to have back. If I could rewind a year I would. I was so happy :( and now I'm upset all the time and try to be happy and healthy for my baby but its so hard. I love him and want to be with him yet i want to be happy and cared for ... but he needs to grow up and I'm scared it won't happen. :'(

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Julie A - posted on 10/21/2013

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I'm so sorry. This sounds like the same relationship I had with my ex and son. It took me years to finally get away. All it came down to was me wasting my time with this jerk . Now I have an amazing husband an 2 beautiful girls. I know it's hard sweetheart but all you're doing is wasting your precious youthful years on this jerk! You an your son deserve better an will find it. For now I would stay with my mom(that's exactly what I did) an focus on your son and stay away from this boy!! Do what's best for your son an get away!

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