SO hits me in front of our 9 month old.

Ashley - posted on 02/17/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hey everyone, I am the mother of a beautiful 9 month old boy. He is seriously my heart, the light of my life, everything. He was born 6 weeks early, with no major problems thankfully, so I am super protective of him. Last July, when my son was 2 months old, my SO started getting really violent (I’m talking blackening my face, bouncing my head off the floor, bloody nose, etc.) I never called the cops b/c I was terrified of what he would do. Then, one night, he took a remote and hit me in both kneecaps, and when our son started screaming, he turned to him and yelled at him to shut up. That was my breaking point, and the next night, I took my son from the babysitter and went to file charges. I had a restraining order put in place, but while SO was in jail for a measly 22 days, I moved to another state to live with my parents. I felt so empowered, until I went back for our court date and saw how pathetic he looked, and how sorry he seemed, crying, etc. I ended up contacting him via text the night before court, and we remained in contact despite the 1-year order. In October, I moved back and we got our own place. Everything was fine, but the past 2 nights, he has screamed at me in front of our sleeping son (causing him to wake up so upset), he tells me how stupid I am, and he has smacked me in the face while I was holding and feeding our son, hit me upside the head bare-handed and with a lighter in his hand, poked me in my sternum so hard it hurts to breathe now, and he told me to put the baby down, stand up, and he pushed me down on the bed and smacked me in the head. He told me if I called the police again, he would kill me. He said he would go after my family as well. He flip-flops between coming after me and my family violently and legally. He also accused me of lying to the cops and threatened to take custody of our son from me. I have been in contact with a domestic violence advocate and several lawyers, and they all told me that he is lying about me losing custody.

A good friend of mine who lives a few hours away in another state, also my son’s godmother, has offered to come pick us up tonight and help me pack while SO is at work. SO has no clue about any of this, but I am so over it. I just can’t do it anymore. Yet I’m terrified of what is going to happen and how he will react. And this is forcing me to leave a job I love that pays very well. I just don’t feel safe even if he does move out.

4 Comments

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Anne - posted on 02/18/2014

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Good for you a very brave decision. Your story sounds very similar to mine... It may go on for a long time but you absolutely will be ok in the end and one day be able to smile. I found the help of a group called WAYSS just to support me through the process really great when I didn't seem to be able to explain to others why I had stayed why I had gone back why I was still scared... all of those things that people question. They even came to court with me just for support. All the very best to you and your little boy!

Jodi - posted on 02/17/2014

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I am not suggesting you are anything BUT an intelligent woman. I am glad you are getting out. Just be aware, however, that he may go for some level of custody of your child, or at the very least, visitation. Make sure you have evidence (this is why I said call the cops and file charges) of his violence, as you'd have a case for supervised visits only, if at all.

Ashley - posted on 02/17/2014

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I swear to you I'm actually an intelligent woman. I never thought I would get caught up or buy into this kind of crap, but here I am. I have arrangements made to leave tonight and have already spoken to a lawyer about cutting him out.

Jodi - posted on 02/17/2014

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Why on EARTH did you get back with this man? Call the police and get the hell out. He is lying about you losing custody (although he is likely to get supervised visitation). Get out of there now, before he kills you.

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