So much forecfull unwanted advice...

Rebecca - posted on 04/23/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I understand that I'm asking for the very thing that I'm complaining about... BUT do you get people constantly thinking you are trying to hurt your baby in the sense that everything you do there is something wrong with?? I am too scared to add anything into my status updates anymore concerning my baby as people post that I'm trying to hurt him or forcing him to grow up too fast. I had a horrible pregnancy and awful birth after a miscarriage and double check everything that I do with my son because I am so paranoid so I get sick of people telling me I am doing the wrong things. Does anyone else get this constant unwanted advice telling them that they HAVE to do things a certain way, and if so how do you politely tell people to sod off? hehe I avoid confrontation.

10 Comments

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Sarah - posted on 04/23/2009

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If you want to post something about you or your son, do it regardless of what other people think. You are his mommy and you know whats best for him. And only you can decide for yourself if what you're doing is right or wrong. i would love to see updates on your son. Yeah, I'm new to this, but I love hearing about how other peoples children are doing. ;)

Sabrina - posted on 04/23/2009

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Hi Rebecca.. I think its just people just trying to be helpful but they dont realize that maybe not every suggestion works for everyone. You have to do what you think is best for your child.. remember it is YOUR child. There will be advice that is helpful and advice that is just nonsense! My mother in law is the worse about thinking she knows everything but her son (my husband) is 32 years old and things have changed.. and honestly I dont think she would know how to raise a baby now! Good luck and ignore the unwanted advice!

Amber - posted on 04/23/2009

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I know exactly how you feel. My beautiful son is 3 months old and people love to tell me what to do with him. Seriously he may be my first child but I have worked in child care and even spent years as a case worker for child protection so I think my son is going to survive in my care. the first time my boyfriend's mother came to see the baby she spent hours telling me how everything i did was wrong I used the wrong diapers and wipes and it just went on until I got up and left the room. My boyfriend told her to stop and still she went on to tell me that the things i do are putting him at risk for SIDS seriously. So needless to say I avoided her at all costs until she wanted to know why and my boyfriend told her so now she doesn't say anything to me which is fine. With my family i just straight out tell them cuz I am comfortable with them. My mom swears I pat my son too hard when I burp him she tells me I am going to break a rib whatever I just tell her that he is my son and I know what is best for him. I really don't pat my son that hard my mom just rubs his back to burp him and then he never burps and has gas. So you will always find people who want to tell you what you are doing is wrong, but you are his mother and you know that you would never do anything to harm him so ignore their ignorance. You know what is best for your baby not anyone else. My brother always tells people that his son has made it to 5 years and his daughter is almost 2 months so if they have survived he thinks they are going to live and people don't need to tell them what to do. It was funny when my sister in law had their baby the nurse was trying to tell her she had to nurse right then and my brother told the nurse that the first kid survived infancy so he thinks they can handle this one too. You can always use sarcasm to tell people to back off. Or do it my way just tell them.

Angela - posted on 04/23/2009

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For one, do not take anyone's advice unless you feel it would benefit you and your baby. Secondly, say that's good advice but I have my own way of doing things, it gets the message across as well as letting them know that your in control of your children,every mother is in entitled to up bring up their off spring how they see fit whether they like what you are doing or not. My feelings are to ignore all that unwanted advice or comments & take on what feels right, don't let these people get to you if you do they win, don't give them the satisfaction of doing so. As long as you and your baby are happy,healthy and learning then you are being the best mum you can be. Hope your lives will be for filled with love & laughter as this is the most important thing of all.xox

Deidre - posted on 04/23/2009

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ugh, i've actually stopped posting anything unhappy about my daughter in my status updates b/c of just this. So all the unhappy/sucky things (like constipation or not sleeping well) stays inside pretty much or I mention it here sometimes.

Wish I had some advice for ya, that's just what I've done to 'deal' with it. Not giving them a reason to post their advice.

Maria - posted on 04/23/2009

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you are his mother and you know what is best for him. when i get advice from family especially that is criticising of me i just ignore it because as long as my kids are happy and healthy i don't need to hear them. so as long as you are not hurting your baby and your baby is healthy and happy then you do what you got to do don't let people run your life i let that happen once and one day i just snapped and told my aunt he is my son f**** off hehe sorry i just hate when people try to tell you how to be a mom advice is suppose to be helpful not make you feel bad so far on here i haven't gotten that but i just signed on so we'll see take care and you just be the best mom you can be and listen to your mother instinct.

Patricia - posted on 04/23/2009

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Hi Rebecca. I think that most people can't help themselves when it comes to giving advice of any kind.

We're about the same age. My baby girl is now 9 months old and she survived me for this long, he-he-he. I too try to avoid confrontation, also depending on who it's from. If it is somebody staying with you in your home it is going to be difficult to just avoid them, but if it's a stranger you can just ignore him/her. They won't even know.



Also I'm not completely ignorant to their advice. I'll think about it, and use it if I can and ignore it if I think it's a load of crap. I found that mostly people talk through their own experience and I would much rather learn through other people's mistakes than my own, but thats just me.

You are the mom. Do what you think is the best for your baby.

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I wouldn't bother telling them politely, they aren't being polite by telling you that you are doing things wrong. I just say to my friends who think they know everything, she is my daughter and I will do things the way I want to and feel comfortable with.if you dont like it go home :)

Eloise - posted on 04/23/2009

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People need to keep their nose out your his mother after all. My eldest brother doesn't get a long with my husband and after a family disagreement I told him that my son and husband come before him and that he will never have any more contact with my little boy or my new baby. He didn't take that to well and threatened social services on us for what I don't know! He has told family and family friends a pack of lies about my husband, Im one of those mothers who can't let her child out of her sight so I would like to know when my husband has done this. Ive got to the stage now where I think Im his mother I know whats right or what is wrong for him seen as I spend all day with him. If people don't like what I do I really don't care my son is happy and healthy !!

Emma Shorty - posted on 04/23/2009

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LOL hey like the post well my little gal, Paige is 4 in may lol but yet she acts and talks to me and my family even her dad like she is older than us! lol there are times when it funny (like a joke lol) and yet there are times when it 's a pain lol but YET THATS MY LITTLE GAL IF YOU DONT LIKE IT DONT SMILE AND WALK AWAY! LOL THATS MY WAY OF IT ! post what u like about your baby, hey if you would like to know more about me look at my profile lol

take care and wish you and your little boy happiness x

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