Someone please help ... This is stressing me out :-(

Miss - posted on 12/26/2013 ( 20 moms have responded )

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I cheated on my boyfriend with my best friend on October 23. My period was due October 27. Hornet it did not come on. Did I get pregnant on the October 23rd or was I alreasy pregnant? Also with all that information maybe this will help as well. I had an ultrasound on Dec . 19th. I was told I was 9 weeks and 3 days3 with a margin of 5 days in either direction. Meaning 8 weeks and 5 days or 10 weeks and a day at the time o of the ultrasound. Was I already pregnant at the time of my one night stand?

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Michelle - posted on 12/27/2013

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You've had people respond the same way in your multiple threads, if you are so adamant that you know then why ask the question? Especially when you are arguing with everyone who gives you advice.

Jodi - posted on 12/26/2013

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Ok, if it was "fetal" age, then they added the two weeks to allow for LMP because that is how they calculate due dates. So that means the conception date estimate (and gestational age) was 7 weeks 3 days before the ultrasound, give or take 5 days. So yes, you could be pregnant by the guy you cheated with.

Miss - posted on 12/26/2013

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I'm sure you can tel I don't care what you mentioned right? It's 2013 and judging a person regardless of what you think they've done wrong is a nasty and dishonorable thing if you ask me? I asked me medical adice from someone who reakly knows or have ben through it themselves ... That would not include ypu. I'm sure you aren't a nun and have cheated once in your life. This of a support group not a judging group. BTW it was the fetal age not the gestational age. The fetal age was 9 weeks and 3 days at the time of the ultrasound which ods absolutely impossible of I slept with him EXACTLY 8 weeks prior. BTW implantation doesn't occur until the already fertilized blastocyst attaches itself to the lining of the uterus. With that attitude ypu have I'm sure you've been cheated on ms. holier than thou lol. Smh. Thanks for all your lovely insight Jodi

Jodi - posted on 12/26/2013

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Well, if you are so confident your doctors are right, why are you stressing out? And why are you here asking for medical advice? Your question "Did I get pregnant on the October 23rd or was I alreasy pregnant?" and "Was I already pregnant at the time of my one night stand?". So if those weren't your questions, what is? No-one here knows more than your doctors.

I'm just saying ultrasounds aren't necessarily particularly accurate and only a DNA test will actually give you total certainty if you are stressing out over it. Oh, yeah, and I mentioned cheating is a nasty thing to do and not particularly honorable no matter what the circumstances.

Jodi - posted on 12/26/2013

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Meh, if you cheat on someone, you will be judged. It's a bitch of a thing to do to anyone really. If you don't want to be judged, don't cheat. It really is that simple. If you told me he was abusive, I'd say leave him first, finalise your relationship, and THEN get into another one. You are referring to him as your boyfriend, so I assume you are still with him. Cheating is cheating is cheating.

The fact is, no-one can tell when you actually conceived. The margin of error makes that impossible. You could very well have conceived on 23rd October. Implantation can take place much earlier than 6 days, depending where in your cycle you are. If it is after ovulation, your egg is actually much further down the tubes than normal, so fertilises and implants much more quickly. You can have absolutely no idea who the father is until you do that DNA test.

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LalaBoom - posted on 12/27/2013

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I don't see any post where Jodi called you a bitch. Not everyone cheats and its a fact that you lacked moral judgement at the time you decided to cheat if you think its okay. If he is abusive, you can leave, why cheat and then stay with the alleged abuser? That is not being "judgemental" and doesn't require the level of hostility you immedtiately threw at her. Its a fact and its your story- a story that, as someone who has been cheated on multiple times and never have cheated, doesn't sit very well with a lot of us. But that's beside the point.

End of rant.

To answer your question: f you had unprotected sex on the 23, Oct. with a 9wk/3day baby, then there's a greater chance you were already pregnant. Problem is, the size of the fetus cannot give you a 100% and here's why: I'm currently pregnant, my baby is "fine" but not growing as it should be; s/he is the size of a 10wk fetus even though I'm farther along. I didn't cheat on my husband, therefore unless I'm virgin Mary- which I'm not- I know my underdeveloped baby is his. You do not have the benefit of knowing that. **THAT** is the point of what you translated as Jodi being "judgemental."

A - posted on 12/27/2013

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She didn't call you a bitch,she said what you did was one.

But back to the original topic, personally I would still take a DNA test to be sure. And I would, if you haven't, tell your boyfriend. He deserves to know.

Miss - posted on 12/27/2013

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She called me a bitch and that is unacceptable for any adult. I don't have an issue with her opinion. I thanked her as well. But I wil not be disrespected any where. Thank you as well.

Michelle - posted on 12/27/2013

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I agree though. I have never cheated on any of my boyfriends or husbands, but I have been cheated on. Just because you didn't get the answer you wanted there is no reason to attack those that pointed put the obvious flaw to your problem.
Yes I read it all but you changed a lot of things with each post. It's always best to include everything in the original post to stop the confusion.

Jodi - posted on 12/27/2013

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What, you think it is ok to cheat on your boyfriend? Let's face it, your boyfriend should be your best friend. if he isn't then, you need to do something about that. Cheating on him is not the answer. Finish it first and THEN sleep with someone else. Holier than thou? No. Just common sense and realising that sex is not something we should just throw around to anyone who wants it.

Miss - posted on 12/26/2013

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My concern is natural, especially since I know what happened. However medically I'm sure everything is ok and I plan to dna test either way. As for your opinion and what you do ... Thats good for you Jodi. Maybe you'll get into heaven before the people who have cheated. Would you like a pat on the back or perhaps a cookie?

Jodi - posted on 12/26/2013

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Hm, interesting, I just did a check, and it turns out those terms can be used interchangeably depending on where you live, so.....chances are we are on a different page.

Jodi - posted on 12/26/2013

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I think you are misunderstanding me, or maybe I just couldn't make myself understood. However, that is irrelevant. You are clearly still concerned this may be the child of the person you cheated with. Your problem, not mine. I'd never do this to my boyfriend, husband, partner, even if he was an abusive asshole.

Miss - posted on 12/26/2013

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Again you are wrong. That would be the gestational age with the two weeks that includes the LMP. Please study up. I an now convinced you have no idea what your talking about. Again you don't read well. Besides a 7 week 3 ultrasound would have needed to be done through transvaginall ultrasound. Which I did not have. A 7 week old fetus also does not wave hisdeveloped hands and feet and the camera. They are certain I was well over 8 weeks fetal age ... Meaning h that I'm not pregnant by the person I cheated with.

Jodi - posted on 12/26/2013

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Oh, BTW, did they tell you whether this was fetal age or gestational age? That makes a difference.

Miss - posted on 12/26/2013

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Jodi do me a favor and just reply to someone elses post. Because you clearly aren't reading all the information and you seem like a "know it all". I had a ultrasound exactly 8 weeks after sleeping with him and according to every doctor in the room my ultrasound and fetus was way to advanced to be 8 weeks. zI don't think you know more than the doctors. Again- thanks t

Miss - posted on 12/26/2013

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I think maybe you should try not bring so judgmental. Thats what I think. The details of what I told him are none of your business. But thanks for your advice. According to both my doctors I was already 2 weeks pregnant and there is no way that my period didn't still come on the end of October if I had sex with my best friend only 4 days prior to when it was due to come on on the 27th. There wasn't enough HGC in my system for my period not to still have come on 4 days after that encounter when it was due.Implantation itself takes 6-12 days which means I waslikely already pregnant. That also means that at the time of my ultrasound I would have been 8 weeks or less. I posted for medical insight ... Not a life lesson. Thanks ... You don't know my situation. If I told you he was abusive would you stol feel the same way. God day.

Jodi - posted on 12/26/2013

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No-one here can tell you, and unfortunately, neither can a doctor because there is a margin of error. The only way you are going to know for sure who the father is is with a DNA test. Maybe a good reason why cheating on your boyfriend is not a good idea. Does he know you cheated on him? You should come clean with him. He has a right to know that the baby may not be his. Or are you going to cheat on him again by lying to him?

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