sons behavour with father not around

Stephanie - posted on 09/21/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

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i have 3 kids all boys my 2 eldest kids have a different father to the youngest i haven't been with their father for about 3 years my 7 yr Nathanual seems to be fine but my 5 yr Logan is so angry he still is drawing on walls and things like that he is such a sweet boy but sometimes he just switches and carries on sometimes he cries that hard he vomits his father does see them but he might see them every 2nd week for a couple of months then not again for 3 months because he doesn't want to tell them he has no money to come and get them he just doesn't call, HERE is my problem in the 3 months that they don't see him Logan is fine it is when he gets back he plays up and his teacher even knows when he has seen his father i don't know what to do my partner Dale (father of my 5 month old Angus) loves them as his own and treats them fantasic they love him as well they have a lovely home life i just don't know what to do please can anybody help

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I had a father that bounced in and out of my life and caused me to not eat because i was so stressed when i had to go with him. a few things could be happening. he is so used to his normal schedule, that when he has to go with his father, the schedule changes so much that it is hard for him to adjust. it could be that his father spoils him and then not getting that "special" attention he acts out. Or it may be that he doent feel safe for what ever reason with his father and that fear that you will leave him or send him back may be causing behavior issues. my best i advice is to have him talk to someone who is outside the family about what is going on when he goes with his father.

Nadine - posted on 09/21/2009

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My sister has the same problem with her 1 yr old. He sleeps through the night, is as good as a 1 yr old can be lol but after he visits his father he doesnt sleep through the night for a few nights and is a total terror. The first few times she couldn't figure out what was going on till she was there to pick him up and was talking to his mom and saw what was going on. Because he doesnt get to see him on a regular basis he spoils him rotten, he gets anything and everything he reaches for even if its not good or safe for him. If he does wake up in the middle of the night instead of putting him back to bed he feeds him and this is only part of it. I dont know if this is what your ex is doing but maybe part of the problem. Hope this helped. Good luck

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