stay at home mom-bored,lonely,friendless

Beth - posted on 07/22/2011 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I decided to stay home after my second child was born(I have a 7 yr old,18 month old and a 3 month old) I love them more than anything, but I dont know if I can do this anymore! My life is nothing but cooking, cleaning, laundry, diapers, whining sippy cups, chaos then repeat. I have lost all my friends since we have nothing in common anymore. Im am not the type to go to"mommy groups". Every day is like groundhog day. I wait to fall into bed at night exhausted only to get up 5 hours later and start the whole process over again. Mornings give me a sense of dread cause I know its the same old thing over and over and over again. I cant go to work cause it wouldnt even pay for daycare and i dont want someone else raising my kids anyways. What the hell do I do? someoneplese tell me if they feel the same way.

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Zvikomborero - posted on 08/19/2012

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Going to mother and baby groups is a fantastic idea. Just give it a go. That's how you meet other mums (you might find something in common). Plan days out with the other mums etc.

Dani - posted on 08/19/2012

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Hi Beth, I know you wrote this a while ago but oh my god when I read the ground hog day thing felt not so alone any more! I used to say that to my husband constantly, like (you don't know what it's like the same thing everyday non stop I know excatly what's gonna happen t what time who's gonna poop at what time it's like flippin ground hog day looool)!!!
I have a 1 year old and a 2 year old an it's unbareable sometimes my husband is a gardener an has good hours but I always feel like I do more with the kids he doesn't know when they have been feed or at what time, he comes home does the baths then bed!

When he comes home or even on the weekend I want to do stuff get out the house (I don't drive) but he's so tired from work that I'm left bored and frustrated at least he gets weekends off my time with my kids are 24/7! I feel awful complaining but I need to be honest for my own sanity!

The worst thing is I live in France I moved from England my home to start a life here he's french an is sure the kids will have a better upbringing so I have no one around me I really miss my mum who would help me so much right now! It's just so lonely!

Alison - posted on 07/23/2011

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i meant house work, not homework, but whatever--just shake things up a little. :O) When I moved, I was desperate for friends. I started a playgroup with some ladies from church and a few from my apartment complex. We just had it at the apartment's clubhouse. you're still mommy, but it's nice because the kids play together and you can talk with other adults and know there's others in the trenches with you.

Alison - posted on 07/23/2011

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i've definitely felt like that. I moved to a new city on my daughter's one month birthday. We have to find joy in the monotony, but we also need time to feel like us and not just mommy. Since you're not the type for playgroup or whatever, maybe you could try taking a class, joining an exercise group, etc. A babysitter once in a while is much cheaper than day care and you deserve it. Ditch the homework once in a while and just have fun--let your kids run in the sprinklers, go to the park, go on a mini road trip, something to break up the monotony. good luck.

Amanda - posted on 07/22/2011

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I think we all feel like that occassionally. I can't afford to go to work either and have 2 young kids to take care of. Maybe you need to get out of the house, even just go for a walk round the block.
Do you think you may be suffering from PPD??? If so I would make an appointment at my doctors.
Also do you have family or a partner that take take some of the pressure off, even for a few hours???
If you do go get your hair done or what ever it is that will make you feel better for a while or that you don't get to do.

Mothers groups or playgroups whatever you want to call them are a fantastic way to meet other mums, some in your situation, and to socialise yourself and the kids.You may even meet someone you really hit it off with. You really need to put yourself out there for your own sanity. If not look into weekly activities through your library like story time or music classes, they don't always cost alot to participate in.
Get down the park, there are bound to be other mums you can talk to there. Take the kids to feed the ducks. There is so much you can do to stop repeating the same pattern every day. Yes it is hard to get 2 small kids organised to go out but you need to just do it, and the more you do the easier it gets.
Mine are 3 and 22 months and I always have a bag packed with spare clothes, nappies, baby wipes, nappy bags, change mat so that when I go out all I have to worry about is snacks and water and anything I need for me.

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