Step mom with concerns about 6 and 9 yr olds poor personal hygine

Peggy - posted on 11/08/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I am new to being a step parent (with no kids of my own) but have some concerns about my 9 and 6 yr old step daughters. They have really poor bathroom hygine they don't wipe after using the toilet even if its #2!! I have tried having my husband talk to their mom but she just freaks out saying that were accusing her of being a bad mom!! I am so grossed out by them not wiping or flushing that I am taking it upon myself to teach them toilet hygine how do I do this? how do I explain to them the importance of wiping after urinating or having a bowel movement? I have tried to tell them that they need to but that doesn't work so I want to explain why they need to and telling them because not doing it is gross or because they smell (which they smell like pee or poo all the time from not wiping) doesn't seem to work.

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Enna - posted on 11/13/2013

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Unfortunately you are their step mom, so you don't have much clout. Their dad needs to talk to their mom about it. Call their school and talk to the nurse (or make dad do it). I make sure we have flushable wipes for my daughter. She doesn't always do a good job, and I find that that helps. Make them shower more often. Spray them with air freshener. (totally just kidding) Buy yourself some nose plugs.
Seriously though, I think that unless they live with you, their mom and dad are going to have to work it out with them. That is definitely a mom job.

Peggy - posted on 11/13/2013

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April I have tried explaining that to them and they just act like im telling them some false story about the Easter bunny or the tooth fairy. And the 9 yr old has already had a uti, and when I told her she probably got it from not wiping she just looked at me like I was lying and just telling her some old wives tale. I really am grossed out by their bad toileting hygiene and grossed out by how they smell, because of their poor hygiene, (especially when they want to sit on my lap or cuddle with me which is all the time)

April - posted on 11/12/2013

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Well you could always tell them that if they don't wipe, besides the fact that they may smell, they may get sick. The left over bacteria may find a way to enter there urinary tact and they may end up with a UTI. Which is not fun. They would feel constantly that they need to pee even though they had just went to the bathroom and that peeing would hurt. It might make them realize how important it is to keep clean. Also important is to teach them the proper way to wipe. Hope this helps. Good luck! :)

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