Stepmoms...

Jennifer - posted on 09/11/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hubby has a duaghter and possibly a son with his ex, this month there will be a court order DNA test to see if the boy is his. We haven't seen either one of the children for over 3 years now, his ex wants child support for both of them but will not allow him to see the children. After the DNA test he will be requesting court ordered visitation. I am afraid of how she or they will react. When we first started dating they were around and she was such a sweetheart, he was a little over a year old and still a baby. She told her mom that daddy's girlfriend was really pretty, and since then she has kept them away from us. I don't know, now that they are older, what it will be like to have them around again. I hope it all goes smoothly, but his ex has told us she told the kids her daddy didn't want them anymore since he had a new family when she found out I was pregnant with my 2 year old. I am scared that they will be aggressive towards us or our son. I fear that they are resentful, and don't put it past his ex to have said so much more negative stuff about us to the kids. I don't know what to do, and don't really know how to tell him how I feel, I think he deserves to see the kids and that it might be my fault that his ex has kept them away. I want to have a good relationship with the kids, but fear that as time goes by that will become more difficult. Any advice?

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Shelsea - posted on 09/11/2009

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when you guys get visitation take it slow! you might want to sit down with them and explain things to them to a point. dont talk bad about their mother because thats all they have really known. his ex is really immature! she should have been more worried about how you treated her kids instead of you being his new pretty girlfriend. well i hope all goes well for you and i hope you and your hubby get to see the kids and they get to meet their new brother!!

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Katlyn - posted on 09/11/2009

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When the time comes and you and your spouse do have visits with his children make them feel like they were not forgotten! include them as much as possible and make them excited about there new brother. if there are any questions answer them as best as you can. if the children are nasty toward your son explain that it is not his fault the situation is like this. take it one day at a time and over time the children will see all of you as you not as what their mother has put in there mind!! even though they are young they still can form their own opinions of people!! hope some of what i wrote can help you and good luck :)

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