suggestions

Liz - posted on 05/24/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

2,013

3

450

Hello. I have a set of almost one year old boy/ girl twins. I would like to start trying for baby #3 soon, how do I convince my husband to do so?

11 Comments

View replies by

Jaime - posted on 05/26/2009

4,427

24

197

p.s. Melissa D your daughter is beautiful and looks like she is doing very well. She certainly looks like a happy child and full of life.

Jaime - posted on 05/26/2009

4,427

24

197

I agree that a lot of times men are not always on board with the thought of having children until a woman is actually pregnant or until the baby is born. Pregnancy is a very stressful time despite the positive aspects, and knowing that your partner is not 100% committed to the idea can add to that stress--as well, I feel that it adds to your own insecurities about not being completely ready for having a baby. If your husband is so back and forth already to the point where you feel you need to convince him of a third child, then it's not a good idea to force the issue. You say that there are times your husband is on board, but then he quickly changes his mind...this constant flip-flopping screams "No, I'm not ready". It doesn't seem fair to create a child in a relationship that already includes two children, when the idea of a third is likely scaring the s@#t out of your husband! Going from 2 to 3 children, while the work load might not seem to change much, the responsibilities are still present and there are so many factors to consider when it comes to children. Tricking your husband into a pregnancy would likely result in disaster given his already shakey approach to the idea of adding to your family...I would take some time to think about this. It's a nice thought to want your children to be close in age, but realistically timing and readiness are mutually exclusive.

Mel - posted on 05/25/2009

5,539

58

228

oh i definately agree with this! they are so skeptical before but afterwards they get excited about the idea, especially with first babies. my partner said he didnt feel ready when i fell pregnant and was worried but never told me but it didnt take him long to love the idea and he said he could not imagine life without her

Kimi - posted on 05/25/2009

486

13

41

Quoting Melissa:

comments made by Kimi are very a very manipulative way of trying to get ur partner to have a baby and i would not recommend this to anyone. I would hope that anyone who pretended to think they were pregnant then pretended to cry when they are not, would not be having children and anyone who does that isnt ready for them. Anyway you do have plenty! and you have beautiful twins already, im still trying to get my fiance to have a second one. Be patient, im assuming he wants baby#3 just not yet



I know.  I would never do this but there are a handfull of times I really did get exited over the possibility of being pregnant and I would suck it up and try not to be too upset when I found out otherwise.  My husband would have been really easy to flip in those weak moments had I been honest with my feelings. 



 If he goes back and forth than just cross your fingers durring the times he's for it and it shoud happen soon.  Once your'e pregnant for sure he will be compleatly on board anyway.  Husbands are awsome like that.  He will only want baby number three for sure when you are actually pregnant so, it sounds bad, but you just have to try for it whenever he is ok with it at the moment.  Useing condoms instead of birth control pills will make it more possible to conceave since he goes back and forth alot and they are safer for your health too.  Best of luck!

Liz - posted on 05/25/2009

2,013

3

450

I really would like to have my kids close together so they can grow up together. Especally if it is a single baby next, then that child would have the twins to play with. He does want more kids, but he's been very flip floppy lately in terms of what he wants it seems. There has been some months where he goes, " yeah sure we can start trying.. or trying soon." Then there are other days where he's completely against it.

There was a few times following those months he said we could try where I thought I was pregnant, but then took a test and found out I wasn't. Rather disappointing, but he didn't seem to be too sympathetic because by then he had changed his mind again.

Ashley - posted on 05/25/2009

19

57

3

tell him the truth and that ur ready. then pray that god will speak to him because god gives you the desires of your heart.

Mel - posted on 05/25/2009

5,539

58

228

comments made by Kimi are very a very manipulative way of trying to get ur partner to have a baby and i would not recommend this to anyone. I would hope that anyone who pretended to think they were pregnant then pretended to cry when they are not, would not be having children and anyone who does that isnt ready for them. Anyway you do have plenty! and you have beautiful twins already, im still trying to get my fiance to have a second one. Be patient, im assuming he wants baby#3 just not yet

Amanda - posted on 05/24/2009

79

7

2

we had an eight month old son when we got pregnant again. we had twins the second time and he was sixteen months old when the twins came home premmie. it seems like alot but it is so nice. they share clothes, toys, playtime, and other then the two sizes of diapers, it is the way to go. we didnt have to put anything up because of the younger ones, and when we went and did stuff they all went. i recommend having them close. but it is different for everyone. they fight less close together because they are too young to be jealous, it is just another playmate.

Kimi - posted on 05/24/2009

486

13

41

Well... Theres no convincing. All you can do is trick him and that's not very nice.

Maybe if you act like you think your prenant and then cry when you find out your not he will be sympathetic. I agree that you should wait a few years before bringing up baby talk. You got a little head start by having twins anyway so what's the hurry? Dose your husband know how important this is to you? Ask him what you have to do to convince him.

Mel - posted on 05/24/2009

5,539

58

228

i wish i knew! i dont have twins but have a 14 month old and i am trying to convince my hubby of the same thing. since i have some medical issues that make it harder for me to get pregnant he has been happy not to use contracpetives since our daughter was 5 months but i would like to look into a family planning clinic etc which is what my doc told me but he believes we have to wait and it will happen when the time is right. explain to him that going from 2-3 is not a huge difference, you already have twins. Everyone i have talked to has said 3 is no harder then having two, however 1-2 is a big shock

Natalie - posted on 05/24/2009

143

9

18

Question is does your husband want more kids? Dealing with twins might be a lil over whelming so he might not be up to the suggestion right now but give it some time! Let the twins get a lil older and then I am pretty sure that he wont object! Good luck anyhow!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms