Super Broody For Number 3! Uh oh!?

[deleted account] ( 4 moms have responded )

My husband and I have been going back and forth for months now whether or not to have a 3rd child. I'm 26 (still young) with a beautiful 6 year old girl from a previous relationship and a 4 year old boy that I have with my husband. I don't want my kids being far apart in age and was also diagnosed with endometriosis a couple of years back so my fertility is slowly going down the drain. Normally the decision to go for another wouldn't be an issue, but our financial goals would be pushed back. Buying a house in our town seems impossible, even with my husband bringing in a decent income. A small bungalow alone would cost easily into the $350 000's. For a 3 bedroom townhouse we are looking at just under $300 000. We currently rent and I would be going back to work in the fall when my kids are in school full time. Obviously we would make it work and they say "you regret the children you don't have, you'll never regret the ones you have"... and though that may be true, I'm scared of the repercussions that may happen financially with the kids we already have and love. We have great savings accounts set up for them now for their future and we are financially stable now, but we would have to move as a 2 bedroom would not be suitable for 3 kids (of different genders) and I doubt our car would fit 3 car seats unless we re bought all new seats to fit. Not to mention how I am actually getting sleep now! No more potty training, we can get up and go anywhere we want without having to pack much. The baby stage is past us & most of our baby stuff has been given away. Half of my family is saying to go for it, the other half is saying to wait ... so confused. I just don't want to have regrets down the road.... & I can't seem to shake this feeling. Any advice?

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[deleted account]

Sorry to hear that :( That is tough, especially when you want to give your little one a sibling. I hope things work out for you and he comes around to understand!

Jenn - posted on 02/04/2013

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I know the feeling I really want #2 in my family and my Husband is putting the brakes on it! Good luck!

[deleted account]

Thank you for the reply. I think our back up plan is that if we do have another child, we'll get a bigger place and I'll be able start up a home daycare with a couple of other children. That way I'll be bringing in an income and still able to be home with the new baby and be there for my kids before and after school (which is one less expense as far as paying for a program for them to be in if I work outside the home.) I've been praying non stop and asking for signs. This morning, I was sorting through some things in my sons closet and down fell a box with the pregnancy test I had saved from my son! I took that as a sign ;) I keep thinking, maybe just one month of not being on BC and if it meant to be it will be in that month. The chances of me conceiving in 1 month are slim anyway considering the circumstances so if it happens, I'll know it is right!

Jana - posted on 02/04/2013

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4 years ago, my husband and I were in a similar situation. I have always wanted three children, but my husband, after the birth of our 2nd decided he didn't want anymore. A few years went by, we were building a 4 bedroom house (still uncertain if that was a new baby or a guest room.) I had the same cons as you, we had a 4 and 2 year old, out of the baby stage, getting to sleep, travel was easy, etc. I'd about talked myself into not have a third child, my body was finally resembling a pre-baby body. My husband was the opposite! He wanted another baby. We decided if we weren't pregnant by the end of summer we were done. Well, we got pregnant about 2 weeks after that conversation! Let me tell you, this kid has been such a blessing (just like number 1 and 2) Glad we had him, but had we decided not to have another, I never would have known all we were missing and would be blessed with my life, but I feel I would have been longing for another baby. Sure, our finances took a hit with another baby, but our lives gained so much more! My suggestion: pray, pray, and pray! If you still have reservations about not having another baby, then you should probably try to have another one.

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