suspended from nursery for biting

Sherran - posted on 06/16/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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my 20 month old has just been suspended from nursery for biting. i've asked for advice before and i tried everything but nothing works! he's not bad and he only bites this 1 little girl. it does seem that she sort of bullies him (takes his hat, pulls at his face ect.) but the parents of the other child have gone over the top. i do understand that its their baby he's biting but she's not innocent in this and dont understand how they can say the things they have. The mother was stood there as her daughter came upto me and hit me for no reason and she said nothing. How is this going to effect my son, bitings wrong but hiting and pinching is ok?

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My son went through a biting stage. After a few months of telling him no, I finally read somewhere that if you make them bite themselves, it makes them realize that it hurts.

As for the little girl hitting him, have you filed a complaint against her to the administrator of the nursery school? If so, and nothing's been done to reprimand her behavior, I'd switch schools.

Sherran - posted on 06/17/2009

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I see wot u are saying be the other child scratches and hit other children too. he does get frustrated sometimes and tries to bite me but stop himself. the parents of the other child doesn't see that their child has a bad habbit too, because my son bites its taken more seriously than hittin but this doesn't seem fair. there is always a reason for his biting its not unprivoct and he cant talk properly yet so its not like he can tell people.

Amanda - posted on 06/16/2009

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as a daycare provider I understand this. I have a girl who is a mean bitter even draws blood and she always targets a little boy. only the little boy and he marks easy to begin with so when she bites him it looks just awful. I am not allowed to boot this child out (who just turned 3) because she is mentally challenged (FASD). As a provider it makes me angry that this child does this and it is embaressing when I have to tell the parents of the little boy that he had been bit yet again. she is also a scratcher. I have had to cut her nails my self and pin mittens to her even in the summer. Her mom has started biting her back which I do not support and it doesnt seem to be working. If I ask her what she has done wrong she smiles and says I bit so and so and then happily bounces off to the naughty spot.

maybe you can get an in home baby sitter or nanny for your child. I am thinking I may have to sugest this to my bitters mom.

Heidi - posted on 06/16/2009

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no none of that is ok, and i think you should find another facility to go to. when my son was being threatened to be kicked out of nursery we started implementing the "flick theory" meaning first offense we slapped their hand and said no no. second offense we slapped the hand two times and said one more time and you get the flick! third time we'd flick his cheeck by the corner of his mouth and say thats for biting me/whoever and you will not bite for attention, if you need or want it ask me. also we froze wet washcloths in case it was gum/tooth related! we of course delt with jo-jo's biting for about 2 months, when we did the flicking (mind you it hurt him, because he had to learn) it only took about a week. i hope this helps.

Nicci - posted on 06/16/2009

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I'm shocked they would suspend your child. He's just a baby and many children go through the biting stage and you would think they'd be a little more understanding as a nursery! If it is possible I'd consider moving him to another nursery where they are understanding of children and their individual needs! Keep trying to discourage the biting and def. express to them that neither behavior is acceptable! Good luck!

Charlie - posted on 06/16/2009

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you might need to hold a meeting with the teachetrs and talk about the reasons for his biting and ask them to monitor what exactly is happening , i cant believe they actually suspended him thats way over the top , i have seen this so many times at the school i worked at and its not fair to your little boy .

Tanya - posted on 06/16/2009

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Put your own complaint in about the other child. Make sure you explain that this girl is hitting and pinching your son, and his biting is a reaction to her behaviour. If neccessary go through the things you have tried to curb your sons biting, and ask the nursery teachers what the girls mother is doing to curb her own childs behaviour.

Both biting and hitting are wrong and if the nursery is willing to punish your child but say nothing to the one hitting then it is time to move nurserys.

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