the boyfriend to step dad

Lisa - posted on 09/28/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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we have been living together for about 5 months now i feel my son is building up calling my boyfriend daddy. though he doesnt mind and i love it when he says it. i feel it might b lil too early to tell. Chris ( my boyfriend is a wonderful father ) but there are days where i doubt how long our relationship will last. We have grown into such a strong family in such a few short years i get insecure about issues like this and others. how or when do even explain to my son that this might b too premature for that.

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Trenia - posted on 10/14/2012

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Coming from a situation similar to that would say do everything that u feelnin ur

Kirk - posted on 10/13/2012

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Hi all my name is kirk I'm dating a beautifully women we have known each other fore 20 years as friends shes has a son that the father of the child took off id like to ask her to marry me.we ben liveing with each other fore a year now I love them bothvery much.id just like to be a great father figure to him and be a great man to her .......any words of advice

Kasey - posted on 09/29/2010

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I have been dealing with a similar situation, and it is very confusing and difficult. We want to make sure our precious child doesnt get hurt. It is very scary for me, I dont even let my son around my friends unless they have kids and its a family friend kid time. I feel like I have to keep my personal life and my family life separate. If u r like me you have been hurt before and are scared to go through that hurt again and for your child to feel that pain. My son knows his dad, my ex husband, but bc of a mistake his dad made he can not be around for a while. I chose to explain to my child that he will always have his dad and my boyfriend will be like a dad and take care of him. My son at 3 years old asked why he had to have two dads/ I could only reply to him sometimes we just have more than one, and talked to him ab how he has his pawpaw and mamaw and he has nana and granpa, and they are my two moms and two dads. It was very difficult to try to explain even though I come from a mixed family. My only other situation I have not figured out is the living together, I dont know when I will be ready to remarry again. Honestly I could live with out the paper and just be happily with my boyfriend. How long did u date before yall moved in together? We stay with each other all the time, more at my house now since my child started school this year and I have to keep his stability. I need help figuring the dating thing out with a child, esp since me and my boyfriend have grown so close!!!

Lisa - posted on 09/29/2010

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thank you soo much for the advice! we r in a VERY comited relationship and i do feel he is the one. ive been wrong about certain things and sometimes let my emotions get the best of me n think something this good couldnt last forever. i have never let any man or boyfriend come close to my child excpet for this guy because of our relationship. i dont want my son to get into the habit of calling all my boyfriends daddies. thanks again

Heather - posted on 09/28/2010

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IMO, this is why it isn't good to move in with a boyfriend unless you're in a completely committed relationship and planning to spend the rest of your lives together. Especially if you have a child, the child's best interest should come first. If you aren't 100% sure this is the guy you want your son calling "daddy", you shouldn't let him think your boyfriend is his dad. Even if your boyfriend is a great father figure, it's going to hurt your son 10 times more if you decide he's just not the one. THEN, you have to explain why "daddy" left AND that "daddy" wasn't really daddy. Your son's really not going to understand that. If your boyfriend decides to adopt your son then I think that's when he can start being called dad. Then it's official. :)

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