This is a little embarrassing but... did it hurt to have intercourse after giving birth?

Laura - posted on 01/02/2010 ( 144 moms have responded )

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After having my daughter my significant other kept asking me to be intimate with him and about 3 and a half weeks after having her I finally gave in and ever since then it's uncomfortable every time I try to have intercourse. I'm wondering if it's because I didn't wait the six weeks or if this is common?

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Antonia - posted on 01/06/2010

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mine is 8mths10daysold and i still hurt to have intercourse. i tore incredibly tho so i guess that's my problem, i have no help but wondered the same

Lyndsey - posted on 01/06/2010

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i ripped.we waited 9 wks mainl bc he wasnt around due to military but when we did try at 9 wks he was VERY patient and said its my body i just had the baby its up to me. we took it slow hurt and couldnt finish tried again almost 15 wks after giving birth it was uncomfortable but after get going it isnt bad.each time it gets less "uncomfortable" i was on top too that way i could control better.oh and we use lube too.esp cause of breastfeeding(causes you to be dry)....hope that helps

Mindi - posted on 01/06/2010

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My doctor suggested I wait until 8-12 weeks due to my episiotomy. The first time didn't go well, nor did the second. By the third time (at 10 weeks) it was ok but still not enjoyable. It takes time but you'll get it back! Be patient, and use lots and LOTS of lube :o)

[deleted account]

its common.i however did wait the six weeks as i had a c-section. it was so uncomfortable it wasnt funny. it hurt and everything.

Kira - posted on 01/06/2010

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Not sure what your situation was but I had a c-section and we did wait over 6 weeks to try and it was aweful. It felt like i was being stabbed with a knife. Come to find out there were nerves that were not healed completely. It took about 16 weeks to get back to normal.

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Mandy - posted on 01/06/2010

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for me, it only hurt a tiny bit, just made me more self conscious than anything [because i wasn't sure how it felt for him]. i guess everyone's situation is different, but for me it didn't really hurt and I had it within just a few days after leaving the hospital. Mine was a natural birth.

Sheree - posted on 01/06/2010

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We waited until the bleeding stopped and then tried, so it was about 4 1/2 weeks. It wasn't really uncomfortable at all, but i had a very easy labour and no tears or stitches. I was also read on an australian website to try before your 6 week check up so if you had any problems or worries you could ask your dr about it. We would of done it sooner had the bleeding stopped.

Danielle - posted on 01/06/2010

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I waited til about 7 weeks...it didn't hurt but I did feel a bit uncomfortable. Like I needed to wait a little longer cause it felt weird about the having sex again. I think that it's maybe the fear of hurting myself or messing something up, but as a week or two went by I was back in the swing of things. :)

Lyndsey - posted on 01/06/2010

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ps my body def took at least 6 wks to heal maybe even 7-8..i could tell...and when i went for 6 wk checkup she found a piece of a stitch and about 4.5 wks giving birth after i had a purplish pink chunk come out which i think was piece placenta which mayb caused me to take that long to heal.cause after that came out i felt SO much better.

Octaviana - posted on 01/06/2010

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after birth is normal to hurt during sex because maternal hormones are more than sex hormones, and therefore can not dampen

Ashlynn - posted on 01/06/2010

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I waited a week and a half it didn't hurt for me it was a different feeling the first time doing it again though. its really easy to get pregnant after you have your baby so if your not wanting another lil one i would be careful lol

Jessi - posted on 01/06/2010

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it took almost 6 months after i had my son for me to get back in the swing of things. he weighed almost 9 lbs so it was (to say the least) traumatic to my body. just use plenty of lubricant and try to remain calm. also try to concentrate on just your partner. if there are other distractions you will not be able to relax. just take your time, go slow, and talk to your partner. if nothing else works call your doctor.

Jessi - posted on 01/06/2010

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it took almost 6 months after i had my son for me to get back in the swing of things. he weighed almost 9 lbs so it was (to say the least) traumatic to my body. just use plenty of lubricant and try to remain calm. also try to concentrate on just your partner. if there are other distractions you will not be able to relax. just take your time, go slow, and talk to your partner. if nothing else works call your doctor.

Stefani - posted on 01/06/2010

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my boyfriend kept bother me too and i gave in at 5 weeks and it hurt alot and my daughters 7 months and sometimes it still hurts .

Kristen - posted on 01/06/2010

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I actually tore a little bit (stage 2) whatever that means, but my daughter is 4 months now and I still find it a little uncomfortable. My husband basically forced it on the exact 6 weeks. I really think it takes time, not that it was trauma but having a baby was a bit of trauma to that area. It feels like things are still recovering for me down there. Just let him know whats going on and that maybe you still need a little bit of time. It also helps if he hears it from the doctor. Good Luck..down there.. :)

Chestina - posted on 01/06/2010

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I personally waited for 6 weeks. I wanted to get checked and make sure it was okay to do that. Every females body is different I was more scared then anything, once we did do something it was maybe 10 weeks and I still felt weird but I had to just loosen up...then I got pregnant again...

Laura - posted on 01/06/2010

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i waited the typical 6 week period after my first, and on the exact day it would be 6 weeks, i couldn't wait anymore and actually asked my husband for it- he didn't initiate it! but after my twins, i waited 8 weeks, because my body was telling me NO! and actually, i hadn't had sex in MONTHS because i went into premature labor at 24 weeks with them, so my doc said no more sex... and then i was on bed rest, so i was really wanting sex but i listened to my body and waited until i felt like i really could. it was more enjoyable that way- for both of us.

Heather - posted on 01/06/2010

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We waited until about 5 weeks and it hurt a lot because i still had stitched from my episiotomy. it hurt for a few more weeks, but by about 8 weeks i was pain free.

Kathryn - posted on 01/06/2010

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I waited the 6 weeks, I was too scared to do it sooner. I didn't have any pain, in fact it felt really good. Like the 2nd time, I say 2nd because there was no pain like the 1st time. I did have a small tear, 4 stitches I think. I don't know, but I do think you should talk to your doctor.

Nora - posted on 01/06/2010

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I waited the full 6 weeks (not a day later...haha) and only had discomfort due to lack of natural lubrication, which was due to my hormones still not being back to normal. So we used lubricant and nothing hurt. I had a small episiotomy and still did not hurt after the 6 week wait. However, it took four months after delivery before intercourse was pleasurable for me again. And this is due to several possible factors. Definitely see a doctor if you haven't already. Our bodies can change after going through such an ordeal as childbirth.

Amber - posted on 01/06/2010

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I would definitely go see the doctor. However, I just want to mention something from experience. After having my third baby, my partner (who I later left due to abuse) pressured me to have intercourse. I gave in after 2 weeks, and my body was definitely not ready. Be sure your partner understands that it is painful for you, and hopefully he respects you enough to wait the extra few weeks if that's what your body needs.

Risha - posted on 01/06/2010

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yes, its very sensitive.. after giving birth... i cn understand!... physically also n mentally also !

Sequoia - posted on 01/05/2010

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i had sex at about 3/4weeks-that really hurt (i had natural delivery, with 2nd degree tearing), but i think i was really tense/nervous as it was first time since. But since then, now im relaxed again, it doesn't hurt. Try relaxing to make things easier, failing that i was recommended to use lubricant if it still doesn't get less painful.

Adele - posted on 01/05/2010

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I gave birth to twins naturally, T1 came out head 1st but T2 turned around after having T1 & he was delivered breeched & I had pain everytime I had intercourse that lasted for a whole year, but I had a very traumatic experience after having my twins, I haemorrhaged for 2 days, stopped breathing from loss of blood & needed a laparotomy to save my life, so I think all that contributed to why I had pain for so long.....

Jenna - posted on 01/05/2010

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My boyfriend and I waited 3 weeks. I didn't feel very uncomfortable, but since I had a c-section we were extra careful that he didn't put a lot of pressure down on me and I made sure before we started that he would have to stop if at any moment I started feeling uncomfortable or if it hurt. I probably should've waited 6 weeks, but my doctor didn't get upset with me for not waiting. I hope you start feeling better. But if you aren't ready you can just tell him no, he'll have to learn to understand.

Kellie - posted on 01/05/2010

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I waited the 6 weeks because I got an IUD and I also had a c-section (not by choice!)so I didn't think it would hurt. My husband & I tried it and it hurt so bad that we couldn't do it.. but we kept trying for a couple weeks! and finally we were able to do it. Its weird because me and my husband had sex every day that I was pregnant... even the day before my baby was born. Everything is fine... no problems but I think it you should let your body tell you when you are ready!

Ashley - posted on 01/05/2010

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Honestlly i think it just depends on the person and how bad the birthing was. Like me, i didnt wait a week. But i had a natural birth...not by choice, it just happend so fast and i didnt need stitches or anything so i heald up in a week. I was a little scared at first to do it but once i did it wasnt so bad. so my answer would be no...but it just depends what you went through and how you feel now.

Jessica - posted on 01/05/2010

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i waited 3 weeks and it hurt but not bad its probably because ur body isnt fully healed.

Josephine - posted on 01/05/2010

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I waited 3 weeks and 5 days, by then the bleeding had totally finished and s few days earlier so did the discharge.. I had had 2nd degree stitches and i was really nervous. My partner didn't pressure me or anything but he did remind me that he was still "in to" me. I think thats why i was curious about getting back into "it" so early. It was VERY nerve wrecking but after the penetration everything went well..

I just say talk to your partner, let him know how your feeling and ask him to take it really slow.

Being in the mood also makes a huge difference!

Stephanie - posted on 01/05/2010

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YES IT HURT! My husband waited six weeks because my doctor was very serious about it, but I also tore a little bit during delivery, and he wanted to make sure that everything healed appropriately. So, we waited the six weeks, and it still hurt! In fact, it hurt for a few months, no matter how often we did it! The hormones in your body make your tight and dry - so going slow and using some K-Y will really help! Yes, this is embarrassing, but if we can't talk about it amongst ourselves, than we would go crazy!

Jade - posted on 01/05/2010

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OMG YES it hurt... I think it took a full 10 months for everything to settle and to be able to rock and roll as per normal. It hurt alot for what felt like a LONG time, so much so that he would penetrate just a little bit and it felt like I was splitting in two so he had to pull out... Poor bugger was so good about it though. Things do go back to normal, it just takes time. Lots of time. Goodluck!!

Stephanie - posted on 01/05/2010

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AFTER HAVING MY SON I WAITED THE SIX WEEKS LIKE THE DOC TOLD US TO AND EVEN AFTER THE SIX WEEKS WHEN WE TRIED TO BE INTIMATE IT STILL HURT ME TOO.. I THINK B/C OUR BODIES ARENT REALLY USED TO IT AND IT TAKES TIME FOR YOUR LADY BUSINESS TO GET BACK TO NORMAL..

[deleted account]

I had a c-section and have sex did after hurt. I did not think it would. I didnt wait six weeks though. it got better with time.

Margaret - posted on 01/05/2010

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It was uncomfortable for me after the births of both of my boys. I didnt want to have intercourse for almost three months.

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i waited the 6 weeks and intercourse was painful for me too.when i went to the dr. i was told i have fibroids but its a tumor in the uterous. you should definitely get checked out

User - posted on 01/05/2010

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I tried everything for 5 months then I researched it on the internet and turns out not uncommon problem and if ur breastfeedign also ur body represses the estrogen so DR prescribed a night cream that has estrogren and it helps with the problem hugely

Angela - posted on 01/05/2010

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Yes most women will have pain during intercourse after childbith unless they wait longer that the drs say to wait.

Mariam - posted on 01/05/2010

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I waited about 3 weeks. It didn't hurt too much the first night, but the second night was really painful. I know your supposed to wait a while, but we were both very excited and it just happened. I suggest very easy moves, some lube if necessary, and patience on his end.

Jenna - posted on 01/05/2010

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I waited bout 3 weeks after havin my son as well. It hurt bad. But it does get better.

Amanda - posted on 01/05/2010

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I waited the 6 weeks and even a little longer, I was worried cause of the stitches from the epesiotomy. I remember it hurt the first time or 2. But it got better.

Corrie - posted on 01/05/2010

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It will be uncomfortable and strange for some time after. Your body has to readjust so expect within 6 months for things to get better and a full year to be back to normal.

Tiffany - posted on 01/05/2010

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OK.. I tore to the 4th degree, the most you can tear, giving birth. I had stitches and everything.. I waited the 6 weeks like I was told to, maybe even a few days after... It still hurt but not as bad.. Your best bet is to wait, but don't be afraid to have sex now. It will get better in time.. Just make your partner take precaution and take it slow.. good luck..

Jenna - posted on 01/05/2010

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I can't remember exactly how many weeks after my daughter was born, but when I gave birth to her, I tore a lot. I waited a little while, but he kept pestering me about it and I finally gave in. He wore a condom so I wouldn't get pregnant again, and we tried to use a lot of lube, but it still hurt because my stitches hadn't fully healed yet. The doctors did a horrible juob stitching me up so now there is an extra flap of skin that gets pulled each time we have sex. My daughter will be 3 years old this coming April and it still hurts from time to time.

Shannon - posted on 01/05/2010

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hey laura i think that the 3 weeks may have made a difference for you...i waited the 6 weeks with both of my children and it didn't hurt one bit...in fact it was great :) but i was lucky and i didn't have to have an epistiotomy and i only tore enough to need one stich to that may have made a huge difference in my case

Alexandria - posted on 01/05/2010

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My husband and I waited longer than 6 weeks to have intercourse again and it still hurt. It actually still hurts and our daughter is 9 months old now. I talked to my doctor about it and she said it's normal and gave me some advice... It should get better with time if you take care of yourself and dont let your husband be too ruff. Also, use lots of KY, it really does help so much. Doctor also said to have sex at least once a week.

Tonia - posted on 01/05/2010

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It was painful for me and we waited until about 7 or 8 weeks. I had an episiotomy though, so that could have been part of it. I would say it hurt until probably at least 12 weeks post delivery. My husband was very understanding though, and didn't push me, thankfully. He could tell that I was in pain, and didn't wnat to do that to me. WE tried about once a week until I could bear it.

Nikki - posted on 01/05/2010

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I waited til after my 6 wk dr visit just to be safe because I was nervous because I also had an episiotomy...but still hurt!! Think about just like a wk after your period, it hurts a bit...so waiting 3-6 wks is going to hurt more..Im sure it will be better after a bit :)

[deleted account]

It probably hurts more since you didn't wait the 6 weeks so your body didn't have time to heal properly. But it still hurts even if you do wait 6 weeks. It takes 2-3 times before it kind of feels like normal. But your significant other shouldn't be bothering you to have sex with him. You just had a baby and your health should be more important thatn sex.

Leta - posted on 01/05/2010

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I've had pain/discomfort off and on since my last child 5 years ago. Sometimes it's worse than others. I recommend going to your doc just to make sure it's nothing major. Being able to be open with your partner helps too.

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