thoughts of having a second child and scared

Angie - posted on 03/31/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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my son has just turned two and when he was born i was definetly not having another however lately my husband and i have been talking he backs me up. I am scared financially i am a stay at home mommy and it seems hard enough with just one, not being able to give him the time he needs with a new born, will he enough being a child do child things when its so hard to get a infant places. i no the infant stage goes fast but can i do it without quilt. any moms have the same fears. how is being pregnant and run after a toddler? is it really worth doing without and making it harder money wise for two? i feel like my family is suppose to be two children but i have never been so scared of the thought, i hated being prego and delivery was no fun and infant i didnt enjoy and love his age now is it hard with two or does it go by to fast to realize? help

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User - posted on 04/01/2013

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You know I am in your boat!!! Seriously since mine was about 1 1/2, he is now 25 mo, I have had the urge to have another baby! I truthfully want a large family, like at most 6 or so kids, but I get scared at the thought of really going through the newborn stage with a toddler running everywhere.
I as well am a stay at home mom, and we have made a huge cut moneywise with me losing my job, and we are doing fine, but sometimes things are tight, but we always have what we need and my son has everything he could ever want lol. More in the beginning we had a harder time, but we are now on a fairly smooth boat and I worry about that going away if we have another.
Ever since we had our son, I have saved almost everything, so if we have another boy we will have everything lol. What worrys me is what you described is giving enough time/attention to our toddler. When I was pregnant too I did like it, but had awful morning sickness until 12 wks and then at the end was on bed rest with a couple complications, everything turned out fine but it was hard on me, if that happens again I know I cannot take care of my son. I also worry about when the baby is just born, having enough time for myself to take care of me, having enough sleep ( I was a walking zombie with my son), having no help with the new baby, just like I had no help with my first. I loved him being a newborn but was scared all the time I was going to hurt him, drop him, be too loud around him, it was hard, I know yall know what Im talking about.
I also worry about money, but I have read storied about people having children when financial means werent there and when they were born, the money fell into place. It always works out.

But with all of this worry/stress, I believe in God and I know that he will help me get through the hard times and bring the support that Ill need to take care of the family, and myself. I feel like if it was meant for me to become pregnant and have this child, I know that God will give me the strength and for me to keep the faith that everything will be okay. Things will fall into place in time.

I think that having that bit of fear and worry when considering having another baby looms over every parent. Its natural to feel this way, but dont let it stop you from having another little blessing, they are def. worth all that we as mothers go through. To see that little smile look up at you, is the best

I am actually in the middle of exercising, to lose weight, to be in a healthier state for my family, me, and to start trying for another baby. I am hoping I will be able to start in the middle of this year! Hopefully if I am blessed with another baby, my first will be 3 and he will be old enough to help mommy out with little brother/sister. ive always heard 3 yrs difference is the perfect gap, one coming out of diapers, one going in, not two at once!

Sarah - posted on 04/01/2013

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hi only you know if you could cope money wise and emotionally but i have 3 boys aged 11 , 9 and 3 i had my first 2 very close together and i was young i thought how am i going to cope with a new born and a 2 year old but i did i included my 2 year old in everything with his little brother and he loved it which made it easier also made the stage of going in there own room in there own bed easier with my 2nd because he went in same room as his brother you could her them laughing away together in a morning and you will blink and they will be my kids ages lol if you can afford it and its want you and your husbands wants go for it x

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