THREATENING YOUR CHILD WITH SOMEONE TAKING THEM IF THEY DONT LISTEN!!! DO YOU THINK THIS IS RIGHT OR WRONG?

Jennifer - posted on 07/21/2012 ( 8 moms have responded )

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A friend of mine and I were talking today about out kids and how we decipline them... what works and what doesnt.... My friend says that when her dauhter is bad and isnt listening and shes screaming and kicking the walls and nothing else she does or say works, she reminds her daughter that if she refuses to listen to her parents then someone will come and take from them and she will ave to live somewhere else... Not with mommy and daddy...

So I was thinking, My daughter is three and she screams at bedtime and tis realy hard to get her stop no matter how many times igo in and talk to her, as soon as I leave her room she screams again.... Im wondering if I should use that comment that my friend uses for her daughter becuase she said it works.... for her daughter... her daughter is older then mine so im a little worrie becuase my daughter is only threem but I know she understands a lot and sh would understand not living with us.
Im just very scared of really hurtting her...
I ive in an apartment and am very worried that my neighbors might think something is going on becuase of the way she screams when she doesnt want to go to bed.

Do You ladies think its wrong and I shouldnt try it.. Or is it maybe worth a shit?

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Denikka - posted on 07/21/2012

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It's wrong wrong WRONG!!
Can you imagine how scary of a concept that is to a child? Being ripped away from your family? And worse, your family just letting you go? All because you didn't want to go to bed?? Seriously? How anyone can think that this is a good idea is beyond me. That's like telling your 3rd grader that if they don't get 100% on their test, the cops will put them in jail or your husband telling you that if you don't make the dinner that he wants, he's going to shoot you. Kinda out of proportion to the crime. . .

Kids scream. It happens. And anyone who has been around kids is going to understand that. Especially when they're young.
Instead, why not actually help the problem. Make bed time a fun time. Create a schedule. The 3 B's are a popular method. Bath, book and then bed. Give her a bath, snug up in bed, read a story or two and then it's time for night nights.
You shouldn't resort to scare tactics. If nothing else, what happens if she continues throwing fits at night, you tell her someone will take her when she's 7 or 8 and she calls your bluff?
Scare tactics don't work forever. It's a band-aid fix at best and can cause a lot of problems in the long run. Find something to FIX the problem, instead of just glossing over it. Child rearing isn't about *quick and easy*. Fixes take time and energy. It could takes days or weeks to break your little one of a bad habit. But stick to it :) Consistency is key!

S. - posted on 07/22/2012

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It is totally wrong, children of this age take things literally and a comment like this could really do damage.
Try sticker charts " if you manage to go to bed like a good girl you get a sticker in the morning on your chart"
Stick to your routine and your daughter will work out that screaming dose no good, she will grow out of it, i had a screamer you just need lots of positive parenting and I also found out my d was afraid of monsters so a quick monster check and a big ted guiding the door soon sorted that out. Im sure your neiboure will work out the screaming is at the same time every night.

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Amrit - posted on 07/31/2012

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NO! I think it is too scary and damaging for a young child. It breaks my heart just thinking about it. To me it sounds like an adult using an "easy" out rather than trying to think from the child's level about a good solution. I don't think anyone can know how such a thing could affect them. Even monsters in the closet seems a lot healthier than being separated from beloved parents. I would rather tell my kid that there is an alligator under the bed that loves to eat screaming children and then play an alligator recording in the hallway (if needed) than tell my child that there is a perceived threat of never seeing mommy and daddy again. Eventually the kid will figure out that there is no alligator (preferably after the tantrums stop) but they may always have a nagging fear of separation from parents. It's too scary, and in my opinion, unkind.

Jodi - posted on 07/23/2012

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Well, just the fact that it isn't a consequence she can even follow through with makes it wrong. But it is also likely to promote insecurity in a child. So yeah, I'm going with wrong.

I support the sticker chart idea. Reward positive bedtime behaviour :)

Stifler's - posted on 07/22/2012

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No that is ridiculous. And untrue. People don't take away your child because they throw tantrums.

Jennifer - posted on 07/22/2012

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Yea, Thank you for the comments... I read to her at bedtime, Never checked for monsters though Ill give that a try and the sticker chart is a good idea also.. Thanks again...
Deffinitly wont be telling her that someone will take her for not listening or crying.... \Thats very extreme and yes I know it will do some damage and she probably wouldnt sleep at all because she would be scared, I wouldnt be able to live with myself if i hurt her like that..
Thanks again ladies.

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