Tips on spacing my first and second child?

Shauna - posted on 03/24/2011 ( 12 moms have responded )

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I have been mulling over when to start planning to have (final, family-completing) baby #2 because I don't really want my daughter to have a sibling more than 3.5 years younger than her.......does anyone have any advice or suggestions in regards to planning?



We've got a lot of uncertainties about the future (jobs and lack thereof), plus we know that we aren't sure if we can afford a bigger place but even so, I'm not sure how quickly it would be possible for us to afford a larger space and the lifestyle that comes with it.



Do you think that siblings get along a lot better when they're similar in age or older?

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[deleted account]

I am going to approach this from a different angle - YOUR HEALTH! your body takes approximately two years to recover from pregnancy and childbirth.

A recent study in California by Kaiser showed a huge increase in autism in the second child if the children were close in age. One theory as to why this is - is because the mother's body is not fully recoverred from the first pregnancy and thefore not able to give enough nutrients to the second fetus. This is just a THEORY though.

here is a link regarding this: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40990120/ns/...

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12 Comments

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Tiff - posted on 09/11/2012

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im a mother of a 4 year old lil girl.. and may be pego agian im very scared because im not married ... and its by a different man than my frist 1. i fell that i dont have the support and im not ready for that responsablity.. wat should i do?

Kelly - posted on 03/26/2011

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all kids will have their moments no matter the age gap but it is so much easier to raise kids closer together then father apart.

Kelly - posted on 03/26/2011

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it's so much easier to raise kids close together in age. I have a 6yr old and a one yr old my son gets along with his sister. He has a cousion 3 months apart from him and they do not get along at all. It depends older kids don't want younger siblings getting their stuff or annoying their friends. simular in age they tend to play alot more together.

Elfrieda - posted on 03/25/2011

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I'm wondering about this, too!

I'm 3.5 years older than my sister. We always (aside from the usual spats) got along really well, and had the same friends in high school, even with the age gap. When I was 12, I convinced my dad to build a room in the basement for me so we wouldn't have to share, which hurt her feelings a bit, but she got over it. :)

But I have four girlfriends who have brothers about 3 years different than them, and they are all more like only children. I think it makes a difference what sex the second child is. Not that you can plan that!

If all goes according to plan, I hope to have another baby when my son is just over 2 years old. I think that is a reasonably close time frame so that the kids can be close in age without the downside of me losing my mind!

Brianna - posted on 03/25/2011

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i have 2 sisters and i am the youngest. my sisters are 3 years apart from eachother and then my middle sister and i are 2 years apart. we got along really well and still do. I have a 16month old daughter and im gonna try for baby #2 in the fall so my kids will be 2.5 or 3 years apart.

[deleted account]

I can tell you growning up i was in the middle my older brother was 3 years older than me my little brother was about 17months. my older brother and i growing up got along great. My little brother and i fought all the time.. from growing up i'd say a year can be tricky and expect arguements along the way :) although every child is different i think my older brother had more of an understanding because he was alot bigger than me :)

Bonnie - posted on 03/25/2011

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When they are closer in age they usually have more in common and most of the time get along better in general, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything.

My boys are 21 months apart and I love this age difference. They play together and watch shows together. We had kept all baby items from our first child so they were out and ready for the next one. It was a smooth transition for us.

When people mention having the finances to afford another, I always say that you could afford one now and then by the time the baby comes something can come up. You never know.

Ashleigh Jade - posted on 03/25/2011

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I have 3 kids aged 4,2 and 1. I like the age gaps beyween them. They do get along quite well but obviously have their moments lol
I planned the kids so that i could further education and re enter the work force when all are in school.

Its really up to you and your partner. If you can support another child both financially and mentally go for it!

Casey - posted on 03/25/2011

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I didn't want a huge gap between my kids either and my son is 2 and half now and we are expecting our second baby in a couple of weeks and I think thats a good age gap but it will still be hard as well cause my son is fairly independent but still needs help to do most things so I'm going to be pretty busy.
My sister and I are 18 months apart and we've never really gotten along because there is to much competition between us and people like to compare us all the time which is horrible so having them close together doesn't really mean that they will always get along.
My sister has 4 years between her 2 girls and they fight like crazy too, so I guess there is no perfect age gap between kids and you need to do what is right for you and your family and if having another baby right now is not going to be affordable then maybe it's best to wait for now, I know someone whose 2 boys are 8 years apart and they are the best of mates so I dunno I think it just depends on whats best for you :)

April - posted on 03/24/2011

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My kids are about 19 months apart they're getting along so far (she's 2, he's 7 months) so i can't really tell yet LOL.



I'm 6 years apart from my youngest sister and we're fine, we hardly ever fought because i was the oldest and she was the youngest (we weren't that close when we were younger) so we didn't have much in common until we started getting older and i became the go-for-advice sister LOL so we are the best of friends now.



With my middle sister, we were about 2 years apart. We were really close, but we fought all the time LOL even till now we fight but we know everything about each other and we can be best friends and each others worst enemies at the same time but i love her :)



I think it all depends upon if you're ready to have another child. You know what they say, there is never a perfect time to have kids. So go for it. When your ready and when you feel it's right.

Rachel - posted on 03/24/2011

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hello... well i have 2 sons at the moment they are 15 months apart... they get along fine but they do have their moments when they fight over litle things like toys.. but hopefully u get more advice to help you out... but in my opinion it depends how you u are financially n if your ready for another one etc...but i bet ur daughter will love a little brother or sister when the time is right :)... hope this helps :)

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