Toddler hitting?

Tiffany - posted on 08/07/2009 ( 16 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 2 years old, and she likes to hit when she doesn't get her way. Today she smacked me in the face in the middle of the store when I told her to put a watch back on the shelf. Any suggestions on how teach her not to hit? Or disciplinary actions I should take to show her this behavior is unacceptable?

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Anna - posted on 08/07/2009

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I have an almost 2 miyself, and he hits me and her nanny in the face when he doesn't get his way. I read about "time-outs". I've tried it with my son, and it seems to calm him down and then he hugs me after being timed out. I usually set him at the corner of our bedroom for the time-out. Try if it works for your baby. Good luck!

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Danielle - posted on 08/08/2009

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Anytime my daughters smacked me, I smacked them back where they smacked me. Really lightly of course,I didn't want to hurt them. But the shock of me doing it was enough. I also tell them that they can't do that. Once they calm down,I tell them that I love them and explain why they can't do that. They never did it again.

Valencia - posted on 08/08/2009

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My son used to hit me when he didn't get his way, but luckily it was never in public!! I told him that if he hits me again I will hit him back, so if he smacked me, I would smack him back (never in the face, and NEVER hard, usually on the arm) but it only took two or three incidences until he realized that what you do people can happen back to you. It is a very important lesson because when he is in school if he hits kids they will likely hit him right back.

It's no different then smacking their hand when they reach for a hot stove or touching things you tell them not too. Everyone has their own views but I believe I'm not abusing him and he hasn't hit me in almost 2 years!!

Noel - posted on 08/08/2009

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I take my little mans face in my hands and make him look me in the eye and I got to his level and tell him in a very hushed but stern voice... "you do NOT hit mommy"

Christina - posted on 08/08/2009

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Use time outs, they are only effective if you stick to it. Consistancy is always key. If you're in a store, leave, and explain to her it's not ok to hit. I know time is precious and sometimes you don't have time to go back. But even if you remove her for a few moments while you have a time out in the car, it works. I know, from my experience, it's an attention seeking thing. They know if they hit you, you will pay attention to them, whether good or bad. The absolute worst thing you can do is hit her back, not only because it's considered child abuse, but because children learn a lot by example. And honestly how can you tell your child it's not ok to hit, but you just hit her for it. She's gonna start to wonder why it's only ok for certain people.......Just remember, no matter what the problem, the quickest way to solve it, is removing your child from the situation, it helps everyone clear their head.

Jill - posted on 08/08/2009

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time outs do work...one thing I was taught though, even in children as young as two, before you let them out of time out, explain to them why they were in ther, they may not understand, depending on how developmentally smart your child is, but after hearing it over and over, eventually they will get it. I did this with my 2 year old (very smart, knew her abcs and could count to 15) and she did wonders, stopped the behaviors she had very quick. Sometimes shed cry because her mom would yell and put her in time out, when I explained why she was there she would sit quietly until the time was over.

Amy - posted on 08/08/2009

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My boy went through that...luckily he hit the girl next door, and she hit back! I used that opportunity to send her home, and explain to him, that the hurt he felt when she hit him was the same hurt (and booboo) he was giving to others. I really haven't had a problem since.

Stefanie - posted on 08/08/2009

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When my kids hit me in the face I just hold their arms down gently and tell them in a soft voice that we do not hit b/c that hurts others. When they hit another child they get an immediate time out. No warnings. They have to stand in the corner with their nose in the corner for 2 mins. Then they have to apologize and ask forgiveness.

Savannah - posted on 08/08/2009

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I use time outs with my son. he is getting pretty bad about hitting. Or he will hit at you, not actually hit you but smack in your direction when he is mad. Smacking his hand seems to just make the situation worse so I just go the TO route and it really helps. So far he hasn't done it in the store. But he has gotten enough discipline for doing it that when he starts to cop and attitude in the store I just point and him and say "don't go there" and he chills out immediately.

My youngest is 1 and he just started it and so far I don't have any idea how to get him to stop... he's gonna take some work! lol

Good luck!

Pamela - posted on 08/08/2009

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Time out when used the right way is the best. there are lots of books out to help you work out what's best for you and your family.

Erika - posted on 08/08/2009

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Toddlers have it pretty hard. They don't exactly know how to express themselves except for primal behavior like hitting when they are aggravated. A huge insult to toddlers is to not only act offended after the hitting incident, but to not pay attention to them after the fact. They start to realize that they get no positive OR negative reaction when hitting and will realize it's not the right way to express themselves.

Rosa - posted on 08/08/2009

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People can call protective services but not much will be done unless you are actually beating your child, there is a differance between a spanking and a beating. A spanking can leave a red mark as long as 2 to 3 hrs and beatings cause bruising, which of course can last for days. This informatoin I gatherd from a social worker who is a good friend of mine. Now, I have a three year old son who I spank maybe once every couple of months, And what I do with him is get eye level with him (I've always done this by the way, even if I thought he couldnt understand.) And I tell him in a very stern voice "Look at me!" And when he is looking into my eyes I tell him "You do not.....(whatever it is he did)" "If you continue with this behavior you will.....(I either tell him he will get time out or get a spanking. Depending on what he did.)" You just have to remember to remind her that you are the parent, and she has to listen to YOU not the other way around. She is at a stage where she is testing you and if she knows she will get her way with that kind of behavior then it is going to continue untill someone teaches her RESPECT. She is not to young to learn, my son is living proof of that.

Rachael - posted on 08/08/2009

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My son went through a hitting phase not too long ago, just before he turned two. He did it very randomly, when you least expected it (so, for no reason at all) and he did it because he thought it was funny. With my son, it was all about the reaction he got from it, which I learned after gasping in shock a few times. Time out didn't help us in the least. I talked to my son about why hitting is unnacceptable (it gives "owwies", it's not nice, etc) and then when he would hit me, I'd hold him tightly by both hands and say "We do NOT hit, it hurts, it's not nice". I had to keep a normal voice and give zero reaction, so I tried to do as little as possible while still getting the point across, if that makes sense.



Anyway, it dwindled down from him hitting multiple times a day, to a few times a week, to once a week, and now he hasn't hit me in many months. woo hoo!

Pamela - posted on 08/07/2009

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Try timeout. At home have a spot of a room that is safe for her to sit in and everytime she hits you tell her "no you don't hit mummy" and then put her in the room leave her for 2 mins then try again if she hits you again put her back in the room for a further 2 mins (due to her age, 1 min per year of age) everytime she hits you put her in the room she will soon associate smacking mummy with going to the room. If she gets out of the room take her back there and explain to her that she is in time out because she hit mummy. Try and explain to her about how it hurts you and makes you feel sad, that way she will learn to understand how hitting you makes you feel and why she shouldn't do it. As for when your out stop what your doing and take her back to the car (i know this can be hard and embarrassing but she will get the message that if she hits you that it's not on) It has worked for me with my 22month old he now realizes that if he hits me that he goes in his room till he gives me a hug to say sorry. Hope that helps

Malinda - posted on 08/07/2009

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In a store or in public now a days if you spank your child dumb people will call children services and report you for child abuse. But you can't spank them a half hour after they did what they did to deserve because they won't understand what its for so I tell her you don't hit mommy, and if she was getting a treat or toy at the store put it back on the shelf and tell her she isn't getting it because she hit you and always make her tell you she's sorry, and you tell her you still love her. My daughter is two also and when she doesn't get her way sometimes she does hit. I spank her bottom!! It's "old fashioned" but it works, Then i just tell her flat out "you don't hit mommy" and right away she says "I sorry mommy, I love you" right as she's crying. The crying only lasts for a second, It hurts her feelings more than her butt and the shock of spanking on the butt gets their attention and also lets them know what it feels like: not good. Time outs only work with her when she gets a good swat on the butt then gets sat down. Total 180 change of attitude in 2 minutes. You just have to stay on them. Everyday is a challenge, but they do remember and learn if you stay on them about it.

Malinda - posted on 08/07/2009

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Quoting Tiffany:

Toddler hitting?

My daughter is 2 years old, and she likes to hit when she doesn't get her way. Today she smacked me in the face in the middle of the store when I told her to put a watch back on the shelf. Any suggestions on how teach her not to hit? Or disciplinary actions I should take to show her this behavior is unacceptable?


 

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