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uncomfortable with doctor's advice.. suggestions?

Gloria - posted on 10/06/2010 ( 100 moms have responded )

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i am currently 5 months pregnant. this is my first pregnancy and i have a lot of questions, but my doctor always seems rushed and too busy to talk to me. i have been told to switch doctors but i don't know how to go about it without seeming rude. Some advice she has given me has been helpful but she isn't very nice about it. a couple in particular are my weight and complications. I was having some complications early in pregnancy (around 9 weeks) and was concerned with the pains and such. instead of trying to help me, the only answer i got was 'it's normal'. while that helped slightly, i was still curious why such things were normal. Recently i went back for another check-up and my doctor says i am gaining too much weight. I am almost 19 weeks and have gained around 20 pounds, but during the first 6 weeks i lost almost 10. i also quit smoking upon finding out i was pregnant. I am just looking for some friendly advice, along with eating healthier, about my doctor, and pleasant opinions on weight... Again, i am a first time mom and very uninformed. Thank you all.

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Jevonna - posted on 10/10/2010

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First off congrats on quitting smoking! Second You should feel comfortable with talking to your doc. If they don't have time for you then I would switch. I recommend a Nurse Midwife...I loved mine. Third I gained 64 pounds through out my pregnancy...if you are worried about your weight you might want to talk to a nutritionist...you could ask your doc. office if they know of a nutritionist to refer you to. Good Luck

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A lot of doctors are stuck in their "old time" notion that a woman should only gain a certain amount during pregnancy. The problem is that most of them don't take into account that every woman is different. I would say, get a different doctor. You need one that will take the time to answer your questions completely. New mothers get scared easily. I had a midwife. She was so helpful and told me that, as long as you gain weight STEADILY, weight gain is absolutely normal. I was up to about 45lbs with my daughter, but I gained it all gradually and lost it all by the time she was a year. But I wasn't even the type that exercises often and, to be honest, most of the remaining weight was in my boobs as I was breastfeeding, lol.

Katrina - posted on 10/15/2010

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If you're this uncomfortable with your doctor, you need to switch. Your happiness and comfort in pregnancy are more important than being nice to some doc you'll likely never see again. I changed OBs at 22 weeks myself and was SO much happier with the new one. I wasn't rude to the old doc at all, once she was no longer my doctor I felt that it was none of her business. When her office called to schedule an appointment I simply said "I've changed doctors". They will get the hint when your new doc requests your records from them. Maybe losing a patient will wake her up and maybe get her to take another look at her bedside manner.

Don't let anyone make you feel bad about your weight. I was overweight when I conceived, and had a nurse tell me that I shouldn't gain ANY weight at all while I was pregnant, and it wouldn't hurt me to lose weight. As long as you aren't eating a quart of ice cream a day and lots of other junk food, you should be fine. :)

Alana - posted on 10/09/2010

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when i was pregnant i went from 6 and a half stones to 8 and a half stones and from a size 6 to a size 12, but at 20 weeks i was still in my size 6 jeans lol. i dont know if thats alot of weight to gain or not but no one seemed really worried about it with me.
the pains are normal, tts what my doctor said when i asked anyway, same answer as you, just "its normal". your midwife should be abl to answer any questions you have at your weekly appointments with her.;
your wieght gain might be to do with you stopping smoking aswell.good on you for doing so! x

Anna - posted on 10/07/2010

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Don't feel guilty for switching doctors. It's a business decision, not a friendship one, and you deserve the best care possible, both physically and emotionally. If you're not receiving it where you currently go, you have every right as a patient to seek out a different doctor. And yeah, I'd definitely switch. I'd also pick up "What to Expect When You're Expecting". Reading the monthly chapters really helped me feel more at ease with the changes going on in my body, and I knew I could trust what I was reading as opposed to just getting hear-say from friends and family.

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Rebecca - posted on 10/19/2010

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You may feel uncomfortable about finding a new doctor, but if yours is too busy to be friendly and won't explain things to you, then you need to go elsewhere, if only for your peace of mind. You're a person as well as a patient and new moms have TONS of questions that they need to ask! Just call around and find someone else, and when you call to cancel your appointment with your original doctor, lie. Say something like "I've appreciated all the help you've given me, but with gas prices and the economy, I felt I needed to seek a doctor closer to home." Even if your new doc is even further away, it's none of their business who you're going to see instead of them. And chances are, if your current doc is as busy as you say, she'll get over it quickly with all the thought she's got to devote to her other patients.



Becky Dawn

Kristine - posted on 10/19/2010

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Some Clinics also have midwifes. They have more time to spend with you and are concered about your pregnancey.

Nicole - posted on 10/19/2010

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Switching doctors isn't rude. I have actually spoken to my daughters pediatrician about it (I asn't switching from her, but switched to her from another dr) and she said doctors do not get offended by it. They just want you to get help that you are comfortable with, and that they still have other patients so to never worry about it. That the most important thing is that the patient is comfortable. It isn't like you need to talk to her about it, just start making your appointments with another doctor.

Brandi - posted on 10/18/2010

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it may be too late to find another dr, but i would sit ol girl down, and let her know that she is just someone with MD behind her name, and everytime i go to her i would have questions, and dont let her leave until u r satisified with the answers that is what they are there for, and she can express concerns about your weight gain in a friendly matter, because it is how she delivered the message to you, and that is a lot of weight so early in because u will gain alot towards the end and you dont want to go through trying to lose all of that, good luck

Darby - posted on 10/18/2010

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Gaining weight is normal, but you do need to keep it under control. As far as the pains earlier in the pregnancy those are also normal as well. Basically those pains were ur body stretching and making room for something that has never been there.

Kiaya - posted on 10/18/2010

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I had preclampsia with my first pregancy as well and gained quite a bit of water weight. Keep an eye on your blood pressure and swelling!! And get a better doctor, if your doctor seems rushed, it is because she probably has to much on her plate, doctors tend to take on more than they can handle or address the problem, tell herr how you feel see if anything changes. If she isn't willing to do what her job is like watching for preclampsia instead of just saying you have gained to much I would definately find a different doctor ask around go to someone highly recommend by people you trust!

Nicole - posted on 10/18/2010

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Instead of a regular doctor you might want to find a nurse practitioner they work directly under a doctor and they have a lot more time because they dont handle so many patients. more hospitals have a few. that might be a good option for you. also take a birthing class it talks about a lot more then just giving birth and they can give you tons of advice because a lot of the time they work in the hospital and have tons of resources!! i took mine early and thought it was great bc i have a few months to practice everything

Jeri - posted on 10/18/2010

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Hell, I gained almost 70 with my first, and my doc never said anything... I got pains like crazy, pulling and sharp on the sides of my pelvis area. It was the ligaments attached to the uterus stretching and it is normal, just sucky lol.

Amber - posted on 10/18/2010

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Wow. Your doctor is obviously not paying very much attention to you...it doesn't really matter how much you weighed before you were pregnant, and a gain of about 20-35 lbs is normal for a normal weight woman during pregnancy. I gained 75 (75!) pounds while pregnant, and there was nothing wrong with me or my baby at delivery. It just took me while to lose it all ;) Also, some pains are normal, like pain in your groin from the stretching of ligaments there, or mild to moderate back pain, or pain in the skin of your stomach (obvious reason: stretching of skin). But your doctor should know what your specific issues are, and explain things to you. Even if something is a normal pain, being a first time mom is scary sometimes, and you have a right to a doctor who informs you, explains things clearly, and is compassionate and patient. By NO MEANS should you feel bad switching doctors...you need someone who will be attentive. It's your body, your baby, and your life, plus it sounds like since your OBGYN thinks of what she does as just a JOB, she probably won't be offended if you switch. I was very fortunate to have a doctor who gave me tons of info and was very knowledgeable, who (although he was a man) made me feel very comfortable, understood, and cared for (they are out there!!) Plus, if you feel like you want more info, there are tons of great books, like "What to Expect When You're Expecting" by Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel, and "Eating Well When You Are Expecting" by the same authors, or go to pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/books for a list of them. Reading up really helped me A LOT :) A lot of hospitals also have classes new moms can take while they are pregnant that can provide tons of helpful info, just ask the front desk at your clinic or hospital and see what they say. Best of luck to you...just do what you feel you need to do, because this is YOUR special time!

Rachel - posted on 10/18/2010

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Switch doctors. Or, even better, get a midwife. They spend a lot my time answering questions and supporting you, both mentally and physically. Don't worry about hurting the doctors feelings. Pregnancy can be a very stressful, scary, confusing time and you need someone who is on your side.

Kathleen - posted on 10/18/2010

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i ended up losing 10 pounds in the first 5 months of my pregnancy. like you, my doctor wasn't any help. there are guidelines to help you understand how much weight to add, but this is only so you can return to your pre-pregnancy weight. you see, at birth, you lose roughly 15 pounds right after you deliver (most of it is baby weight and the water. and then the last weight you lose is during the first few months after delievering (for some it's easier to lose weight when you're breastfeeding). if you add more weight than what is recommended, there's ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with you, nor is it unhealthy for the baby. it just means that it'll be longer for you to lose the weight afterwards. for a person who is average in weight, it is recommended that you add 35 pounds, while someone who is on the heavier side, it is recommended that you add no more than 25 pounds. but again, i stress to say that it is only a guideline for you to base yourself on. my mother-in-law added a whopping 85 pounds while pregnant with my boyfriend, while myself and my mother added only 17-18 pounds. every woman is different and it all depends on how you add it also (spacing it out on the span of your pregnancy is best also, mostly for you), so don't worry about whether or not you're adding too much weight.

as for your doctor that seems rushed, i would strongly suggest you find someone who can help you. not necessarily find another doctor (for many places in canada, trying to find another doctor is like trying to find a needle in a haystack), but find an external resource (whether it's a nurse or even a website like this one) that can help you during this great, wonderful and very stressful (especially if you don't know what to expect) time. i hope this helps some.

Helena - posted on 10/18/2010

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i had the same problem there is not answer in someone telling you that its normal, becuase what is normal, everyone is different, i went to the hospital at 8 months because i had a headic, just to find out i had pre eclampsia and i had to be induced.. so i believe there is no such thing as normal. as for the doctor it doesn't matter if you seem rude, if you ask question you need a doctor that will be able to answer you and not rush and seem like they don't care, you need someone who will care.. my doctor also told me i had gained too much weight, i lost 20 lbs my first 3 months becuase i was so sick, and i did no start to gain weigh until 6 months, i gained 3 lbs in month six, and finally in month 7 i starter showing, and in the last 7-8 month before my son was taken i went from 175 lbs to 235. i was told by my ob that a "normal" pregnancy a person would gain around 20 lbs, being 19 weeks you are almost half way there and that to me seems great. good job on quiting smoking, and that would also make you put weight one.. good luck with your little one, being a mother is the best job in the world..

Vikki - posted on 10/17/2010

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It really angers me when drs can't take the time to talk to first time mums, I had it with my first pregnancy but luckily my midwife was wonderfull as was my health visitor. I think the thing to keep in mind is not to panic or stress over every little thing to do with your pregnancy. Women have been doing this since time began and I strongly believe that we should be aloud to get on with it without fear of gaining too much weight or the baby measuring to big or to small! As long as your weight gain isn't causing you any medical problems i.e high blood pressure or pain in your joints dont fret. I would however recommend keeping as active as you can i.e walking or swimming. or just splashing around in the water if you can't swim. I didn't gain anything with my first pregnancy and was actually 9lb lighter then when I concieved after I gave birth but only because I had terrible morning sickness through out the whole 9 months. However I gained the weight after I had my son. I was so unfit when it came to giving birth that I ended up in a really state and very nearly ended up in theatre. My second pregnancy and birth was a breeze due to the most valuable piece of information I was ever given by my midwife. Being pregnant and giving birth is like running cross country. Start out slow and steady. Pace yourself. Eat healthy and avoid high sugar foods, they may lift your energy for a short while but it doesn't last. Prepare for the birth with gentle exercises. Invest in a pregnancy exercise dvd or book, as silly as it sounds it really helps. But the most important thing, you must never forget to do is....enjoy your pregnancy!!! Some women never get to experince this. It is an amazing gift. Rub your bump, wear tight tops and show it off! Talk to your baby, play them music. My son loved rock and my daughter dance music and that hasn't changed at all. Ben is now 4 and loves ACDC and Olivia is 2 and is very into Usher lol x

Kati - posted on 10/16/2010

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Don't feel guilty about switching doctors. If you are uncomfortable, you need to find someone who can give you the care you need. I went to an office that had several doctors & was told I would probably get a different one each time. I told them up front that I wanted the same doc each time so my care wouldn't be effected by people unfamiliar with me. Only during my docs vacation was I willing to see someone else & then insisted on going back to my regular doc. I refused on several occasions to change & made them work the schedule to accommodate me. If there are others in the office, give them a try. Otherwise, find another office. Ask friends or co-workers who the use, like & why.

As for your weight, everyone is different. I am a large lady, & was yelled at repeatedly for losing weight during my pregnancy. I lost about 30lbs by the end & my son was completely healthy & 8lbs at birth. A friend of mine is very skinny, gained 60lbs during pregnancy & her child was almost exactly the same. There is absolutely no reason to think that it's a problem in my opinion. Not unless they can show you something with the baby.

Good luck!

Danni - posted on 10/15/2010

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change doctors you should be able to talk to your doctor about anything to do with ur pregnancy as it is your first dont worry bout being rude if your doctors not helpful that is not good enough you have qeustion and they need to be anwered by a doctor

Tiffany - posted on 10/15/2010

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I would suggest going to a midwife. They are a lot more personable and will take the time to answer all your questions. I loved mine! She was amazing!

Bernadette - posted on 10/15/2010

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I really wouldn't worry about seeming rude if you change doctors. It's none of their business as to why you change and if you do feel obliged to tell them, tell them the truth - "I don't feel I am getting the support that I need" Maybe it will be a wake-up call for the doctor in treating other patients. I think a doctor you feel comfortable with, and tells you the things you need (or even just want) to know is important, especially with the first pregnancy when you are totally in the dark about what is going on. And if you don't want to give your doctor reasons, just call the receptionist, as them to forward your medical records to your new doctor, and leave it at that. If they ask why, just tell them that you have found a doctor who is more convenient for you.

Amelia - posted on 10/15/2010

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Honey, switch doctors. Your doctor should never hurry you or rush out on you. They should sit down and see if you have any questions. I will never have the doctor I had whild I was prego again. He is a great pedi but never for delivery again, he couldn't be bothered to as my opinion on what he was doing to me, Checked me after being in labor for 10 hours only 1 cm, then decides to break my water while in the middle of a contraction and couldn't speak up. then decided I needed pitocion. I was pissed. Nothing went the way I wanted it because of him not communicating with me. Your ob should communicate with you. And don't worry about hurting her feelings, this may sound really mean but you'll be hurting her wallet more from the way she sounds. And as for the weight don't worry as long as you're not gaining a lot all at once don't worry, I gained over 50 lbs during mine. was about 135 when I got preggo and 189 just before i had her. I had no complications other then the weight gain and a little animea

Donna - posted on 10/15/2010

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do yurself a favor and switch doctors. just dont go back to the old one, its not like she'll notice, shes obvioulsy swamped as it is so who cares.

Jamie - posted on 10/15/2010

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Being over weight before getting pregnant makes everything a little more difficult. I'm overweight and have been for years before I got pregnant. One thing I did (because we were worried about gestational diabetes) is cut down on carbs and starches. Just don't eat as many breads, potatoes, corn, and junk. It's difficult, but well worth it.

Genna - posted on 10/15/2010

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my family doctor was concerned about my weight in the beginning of my pregnancy too but the first so many weeks your usually getting sick so your bound to not gain much or to lose weight i ended up only gaining the weight of the baby in the end it wasnt till i was seeing a obgyn that they fignured that out anyways hope this helps a bit but if your doctor isnt helping that much i would switch

Stephanie - posted on 10/15/2010

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I gained lots more weight than I was suppose to. I also think you need to be able to be totally comfortable with your doctor at all times. I had a great doctor who spent time with me each visit and was always so bubbly and perky. You will to be happy with your doctor when delivery day comes. As far as eating healthy keep healthy snack options in the house like apples or granola stuff like that and keep junk food out. Thats what I did.

Cassandra - posted on 10/15/2010

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you dont have to say anything. Just go to another doc. They will send over for you records. But as stated before, alot of weight gain can be due to serious conditions such as pre eclampsia. I had it with my first. I put on 8 lb the whole pregnancy, than I put on 10 in a week I had to deliver at 30weeks. Dont be scared, everyone is different and some ppl gain more than others. But if you feel as if you are not geting the care you need you should see someone else.

Kristia - posted on 10/15/2010

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I would switch doctors. Being pregnant and going to the doctor should be something you are excited about and look forward to. Doctors understand that sometimes personalities don't match up. You need to be happy with your doctor and be confident in him/her.

Jo - posted on 10/15/2010

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if you can, seek out a midwife. they have so much hands on experience with pregnancy & birth. midwives are more willing to address any concerns. i have 4 children, during my last pregnancy i was lucky enough to have a private midwife for the duration. it is a much more personal experience to have a midwife also. another option is to simply inform yourself. what to expect when you're expecting is a great book, as is "up the duff". good luck with your pregnancy :)

Sarah - posted on 10/15/2010

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Same thing happened to me. I bled a lot during first couple of weeks, and the dr was rude, rushed, and talked about my baby as an 'it' that may not be viable. He kept me waiting nearly 2 hours for an appointment, then told me that I was supposed to have a full bladder for the ultrasound. Anyway, I didn't go back to him. The next dr I went to I told her his name, the way he treated me, and that I wanted nothing further to do with him. She asked lots of questions, got my notes from him, and then I luckily (and thankfully) aoided seeing him again. If your not happy - change. Everyone's different and the dr's have enough patients that they aren't likely to miss one, who they probably don't even realise they were rude to.

Megan - posted on 10/15/2010

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Change doctors while you still can if you're unhappy with them! I had a group of doctors who were like that. One of the doctors even had the nerve to tell me to stop eating little debbies and mcdonalds because I was "gaining an unhealthy amount of weight". I kept telling them I was gaining mass amounts of weight, my feet were so swollen I could barely walk, and that I was having pain and then numbness in my leg. Turns out I had pre-eclampsia REALLY bad- I gained OVER 100lbs. (After my daughter was born and I had to be put on diuretics. I was 10lbs lighter than when I first got pregnant- still am!) I now have nerve damage in my leg- it's permanent. I ended up with pulmonary edema while in the hospital because of their mistakes, AND- turns out- my pelvic bones are too small to deliver a baby vaginally. My mom, aunts, grandmother and various other direct blood related family members ALL have the same thing. So, I sat in labor- hooked up to pitocin for 3 days when I couldn't have had a vaginal delivery in the first place!

I was unhappy with the doctors while I was pregnant. Everyone in the office was rude, short with me, and acted like I was a big baby complaining about "normal pregnancy things". I highly doubt you'd have the same experience as I did- all the things that happened to me had to have been a one in a billion chance, so don't be scared about that, but a lot of the problems I had could have been caught a lot sooner or prevented entirely. I was lucky if any of the asshole doctors I saw would stay in the room with me for more than 30 seconds.

Amber - posted on 10/15/2010

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if your doctor acts like he/she is too busy for you, than dont worry too much about bein rude. remember...doctors arent everything. you know you better than every doctor out there, your weight gain sounds about right considering the rebound weight from losing so much weight in the beginning. when it comes down to it, you MUST have a doctor that knows that his priority is you and your baby, not anything and everything all at one time. and dont be afraid to speak up. the early pain is normal, called "round ligament pain" and even though it hurts it usually means that your uterus is expanding, but if it feels like it hurts too much, than you need a doctor that respects you enough to hear you out and show concern. i hope you the best, and if you ever have a question, i have delt with many pregnancy issues and would be more than happy to help, send me a message. :)

Tiffany - posted on 10/14/2010

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1. find a new doctor, or midwife. they should never rush you, not being a new mom... I had full 45 min appts with my midwife and she explained and answered everything she could
2. its not rude if the doctor is mean
3. if you're gaining too much weight too fast it could be due to gestational diabetes, so your doc may be cxoncerned. it can make a very heavy baby, and cause problems later in the pregnancy for baby. ask if thats why the doc is mentioning it. quitting smoking could have done it too
4. congrats on quitting!!
5. dont worry about eating healthier. just eat. obviously, if you can eat a lot of fresh veggies fruits dairy and whole grains thats better than fries and burgers and sugar and fat, but eating is better than not, dont starve yourself or your baby wont have the nutrition it needs.

:) good luck.

Jessie - posted on 10/14/2010

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oh yeah and I was told I was obese too. I was 140 when I found out I was pregnant and 165 when I had him. technically I lost ten pounds in the first trimester so I was down to 130 and went up to 165 so I gained 25 or 35 depending how you do the math, LOL, I lost all of that weight within 5 months from breastfeeding my baby and am about 134 right now. I do eat and drink a lot healthier now than I ever did before trying to be healthy to be a good mom to my son and also because of breastfeeding. Ya just gotta eat healthy and watch you calories from drinking (soda, lattes, etc) that really sucks to cut back on soda but it helps so much. I actually work in a fast food place and now I almost always bring my own lunch (usually leftovers from the supper the night before) so I can eat better :) congrats on being pregnant btw, babies are the most amazing thing ever!

Jessie - posted on 10/14/2010

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I think a lot of people, doctors included like to blow of first time moms and brush their concerns aside because we "obviously" don't know what we are talking about. I got so damn sick of it when I was pregnant with my son. the question "is this your first baby?" really started to drive me insane when I went to give birth to him. The nurses didn't believe me that I was in labor (I had been in labor at home for over 12 hours before I went in) and basically told me that I was a first time mom and didn't know what I was talking about. I had back labor and the nurses couldn't find my contractions with the monitor so "obviously" it was "just your baby sitting on your spine, stop tensing up that won't make you feel any better" Right... then the doctor came in and checked on me, told me my water WAS broke, I was dilated to a 4 and fully effaced, and I WAS in labor. the nurses were about to send me back home. Seriously this kind of crap has happened to me with doctors, nurses and family since being pregnant (he is 15 months now) I was right about him being jaundice, having an umbilical hernia (which he had surgery on at 2 months old), having thrush, etc, etc. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS! you will most likely be right jf you think something isn't right. Also, the what to expect when you're expecting is a good book (so is the 1st year one) they are really long but I loved them.

Alexis - posted on 10/14/2010

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Swith docs, I read an article once on wether or not you would offend your doctor if you were to switch. Guess what! they don't care, obviously this one isnt caring for you the way you want\need. You can ask for your medical files at the front desk and they will mail them to you. You dont even have to mention that you are switching docs if you dont want to tell them. Make an appointment with another doc and bring your medical files with you.

Jordan - posted on 10/14/2010

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I'd say change doctors, whether it seems rude or not what matters is how you feel more especially with being pregnant with your first, you definately will have a lot of questions that need answers. Its best to get a dr that you feel comfortable with because at the end of the day you will have to be sure that you trust this person to deliver your baby into the world safely. My gynae with my first baby was the best, i had a lot, and i mean a lot of questions but he never made me feel like im annoying him or whatever.

Shannon - posted on 10/14/2010

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i know my doctor always seems rushed to, so any questions i had about pain or nausea etc i asked a health nurse at my local health unit, she was much more understanding. and if they dont have that answer or think its something that the doctor should deal with, they can tell you what to say/ ask the doctor. i put of about 50lbs with my kids (i found it hard to lost it between my 3 pregnancies). talk to other moms when you can too they can make you feel better.

Sara - posted on 10/13/2010

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Switch doctors. Don't be afraid to ask questions and to keep asking them if you don't understand the answer. There's nothing wrong with switching to a doctor that you feel comfortable with, because it is less stress for you and that means less stress for your baby. Good Luck!

Heather - posted on 10/13/2010

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Switch doctors! Most doctors are busy enough that they won't probably won't even notice that you aren't coming anymore. You really need to find a doctor that you are comfortable with. It makes EVERYTHING related to your pregnancy MUCH easier. And if your doctor tells you something you're unsure about...... look it up online.

Tara - posted on 10/13/2010

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Hi Gloria! I had a very similar experience with my first pregnancy. And the best advice I can offer is to find another doctor. I don't know what your medical coverage/financial situation is, but I would strongly suggest you do some research about Midwives. I am trying for my third baby, and after 2 experiences with doctors offices, insensitive and rushed visits and advice, and after a friend of mine using a doula and having a home pregnancy I've decided to explore my options further. I've heard about people having such amazing experiences with the presence of a doula or midwife (even if you choose to be in the hospital for your birth). If that is not an option for you, at best, don't belittle your own feelings and find someone new! Good luck and congratulations!

Michelle - posted on 10/13/2010

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Hi Gloria - yes it is normal for pains in your 1st trimester because your insides are busy making space for baby to grow - weight gain plays a big roll in preg - it can make the baby stress during labor and it will make it hard for you to lose the weight after birth - 15 - 22kg in weight gain is healthy during preg.

[deleted account]

I too quit smoking with my first son. Its hard and your weight will change often. Mine did and I gained 40 pounds with my son and the doctor told me I was in perfect weight. everyone's different on how much they gain or lose because everyone is different sizes and shapes. As far as the doctor goes I would either change doctors or the next time you see your doctor bring a list of questions you have and give them to the doctor as soon as he or she comes in the room and ask if she or he could answer them for you. I did that every time I went my appts and finally she started to ask if I had any questions before she left the room. I always brought a list of questions because its better to write it down then instead of trying to remember what you wanted to ask them. Good Luck and I hope that helps.

Lynelle - posted on 10/13/2010

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You are paying your doctor to provide you a service. If your doctor isn't doing it to your satisfaction, either tell them to shape up or switch!! You don't have to be nice. If you don't like them, don't go back! I switched from a midwife to a doctor and I am so glad I did because my doctor gave me the BEST care ever and I will never see someone else.

Erinna - posted on 10/13/2010

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I have been told that many women have spotting/bleeding and cramps midway through the first trimester, because of the baby implanting in your uterus. That may be why the doc was saying it's normal. You will know if anything is really wrong. Make sure they check your blood pressure, and urine for proteins and diabetes. This can be signs of serious problems. You don't need to tell your doc you're going elsewhere, just don't go back. Ask friends and family if they know a good doc. Hope this helps. Good luck honey. I gained 16kg/35pounds with my baby and lost it would'nt worry about it just make sure your eating well, don't try to diet. :)

Irina - posted on 10/12/2010

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Sounds like my doctor was, never more than 5 minutes every visit. But what elped me is: reading all the pregnancy books (I bought them used, so they were cheap), and speaking to all the pregnant women around (I worked in retail so I met tons of new people every day). The best advice I can give you is: DONT STRESS OUT! If you want to have a healthy baby, you should be happy and relaxed as much as possible! Do what it takes to make yourself feel better (warm bath, favorite music, fresh air - super important!, shopping, I dont know whatever makes you happy and healhty eating as much as you can, and everything will be just fine!)

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Wow. Umm...I'd switch and wouldn't care if I seemed rude. She seems kind of rude to you. You gained a net weight of 10 pounds and she says you're gaining too much? I wish I'd only gained 10 pounds by my fifth month. I would seriously find a more understanding doctor. Also, as far as I knew, pain early in pregnancy isn't supposed to be normal. I haven't had any pains except from my tendons stretching and a little back ache. Also, if your doctor isn't willing to take the time to examine you, you should find a doctor who will. Just seems to me like she's being calloused.

Joanne - posted on 10/12/2010

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it is common to gain weight when you quit smoking and with a growing baby at the same time the amount can look shocking for a sudden gain.another possible reason could be you may have developped diabeties but then your dr/midwife will test you.

i also gainned a lot of weight during my pregancy, first time too, i quit smoking the day i found out i was pregnant and put on a lot of weight cause i wasnt smoking anymore and with a growing baby, then found out i had polyhydrants (sp) which was retained fluid which made me heavier than i really was.but after having my baby i was back into my pre pregnancy clothes an hr after birth and some of them were lose and bagy too.

i ate mostly fruit during my pregnancy as it was spring and summer.

hope this has been of some help to you and good luck

Betty - posted on 10/12/2010

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I have'nt been pregnant yet but so far all of my doctors that have had an experiance with have been very helpful and willing to explain things to me. If I don't like a doctor, dentist, or whatever I will seek out a replacement because I know how good it feels to be taken care of by careing doctors that enjoy their jobs. I'm glad to hear that you are getting a new doctor.

Brandee - posted on 10/12/2010

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My doctor is great and I trust his advise and medical opinions, but he does always seem rushed. I prefer to have appointments with his nurse practitioners.. They are wonderful ladies and are able and willing to answer any questions I have.. If you decide to continue seeing your doctor, then I would suggest you make a list of questions before each visit.. That way you don't get flustered during the visit and forget what you want to ask.. It will also save on time because you will have prepared your thoughts before the visit.

Katherine - posted on 10/12/2010

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I also had alot of problems with both of mine and and was a little over weight to begin with my doctor told me about pregnancy yoga and arobics your town might have some if you ask around are call local offices like carenet! about the doctor being rude and you feeling rushed i changed doctors because of that very problem well i had an ovarian cyst as well but my doctor just gave me the option to have surgery and risk losing the baby or to wait it out and have a c section at the end cause there was a strong chance the baby wouldn't make it through surgery this worried me i was at the time only 20 and it was my first i started getting paranoid and the doctor didn't seem to care about my concerns so i figured with this outlook do i really want this person taking mine and my childs health into there hands when they make there job seem like a burdon so i changed doctors and was very pleased in fact the new doctor i found was also my doctor through my second pregnacy point being if you don't like them don't worry about hurting there feelings they are getting paid to be there for you not the other way around best of luck!

Brandi - posted on 10/12/2010

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I do not think it is rude of you if you want to find another doctor. If yours is not explaining things to you to help you better understand what you and your body is going through...Give someone who will your money. With my daughter I had so many questions and was fortunate enough to have a doc who would glady answer any question I had. This is yours and your babies health not his/hers. On weight gain. I would say go for walks if you can. When I was pregnant with my daughter I craved super healthy stuff... Tomatoes, celery, apple juice and pears to exact....I lost 15 lbs before I knew I was preggers... ( I was 12 weeks before it showed on the test and i had taken one two weeks before this) I quit smoking the same week I found out. I walked everywhere I could. Work, grocery store, post office. You name it I walked to it. I ended up walking about 2 miles a day. In the end I ended up gaining 6 1/2 lbs back from what I lost and that was it. How I don't know. I ate. I think it might have to do with me staying as active as possible. Keep your head up. It is a totally new thing for you and your body.....

Jolene - posted on 10/12/2010

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I was very concerned with gaining too much weight when I got pregnant, so when I gained 12 lbs in the first month and a half I expressed extreme concerns to my doctor.... He told me it was fine and normal and not to worry about it. I steadily gained after that..and kept telling the doctor that I was concerned about, and he reassured me that I was fine. I am a health food fanatic and a dance teacher so I had no reason to be gaining so much. At 30 weeks I had gained like 45 lbs and he THEN all of a sudden told me that I was gaining to much weight and that I was going to end up fat after I delivered and told me that I had to "lay off the cookies and candies". I was LIVID! Had this doctor not listened to a word I had said the past 7 and a half months! I probably had sweets a total of 3 times since I had been pregnant. I looked into changing doctors but I felt that I was too close to my due date to change and get used to a new doctor. Then I found out that the doctor I had seen the majority of the time of my pregnancy DOESNT DELIVER BABIES!! You would think that would be something they would tell you when you start going to a practice! After that I started to see another doctor and midwife in the practice who DID deliver babies.... they both told me that the other doctor was obsessed with weight gain and that he tells almost all the mothers that they are gaining to much weight and that I shouldn't listen to him. The other doctor ended up being there for my labour and the midwife delivered me. Both were awesome and I loved them! I guess the point of my story is, I feel your pain with a doctor that won't communicate or listen to your concerns.... Hopefully it will work out for you as good as it did for me....

Katie - posted on 10/12/2010

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If you're at all uncomfortable with your doctor, you should seek a new one because it will inhibit your ability to be honest about all of your health needs. (S)he won't take it personally; they have many many other patients. Congrats on your first pregnancy, it sounds like you're doing great! I had never had any kind of weight problems before my pregnancy, and it was definitely distressing when I started gaining, but I lost the ~40 lbs I gained within the first 3 months after my daughter was born.

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