Unsure if I should finally seek child support or not???

Fehrin - posted on 08/03/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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To try and make this short.... I am 25 my son is now 5, I haven't been with his father since he was a 1.5 yrs old. I left because it was not suitable for a child in anyway. I was left with a few thousand dollars debt and no support. My son's father rarely came around and it was always an issue when he was I ended up having to charge him and get a restraining order. Him and my "best friend" hooked up and had a kid immediately. I was already in the process of making my son and my life as good as I could, paid the debts and kept moving forward. I never recieved any money for the debt I was left with or child support, he had "better" things to spend his money on and always claiming he was broke. In the past year my sons father is back in the picture and is taking him every second weekend, I am okay with it for the fact that its his Dad and I would never want to take that away from him but am not happy with living conditions and some other stuff but try not to bitch unless its going to harm my son or anything like that. To the point, we agreed he would pay me back half of the debt and pay half of anything my son is in or needs and I will not take him for child support as long as he is helping and staying actively in my sons life. Well he has yet to pay me a cent, he didn't even celebrate my sons birthday this year and nothing for living conditions or anything like that has changed.....so do you think I could really rely on him to pay when it comes down to my son going into a sport and what not?? He claims he doesnt have enough to support his own family now, for them to live on their own etc, but yet they eat out all the time(something I don't like when my son is there) and stay in hotels and smoke and a bunch more......I am scared to take him for child support because I am not money hungry and don't want to start a fight or make it so he doesnt see his child (even though he is not the best role model, but he is his father) Its hard to explain like I know I will always provide for my son with what he needs with or with out father but I do feel entitled to help. I dont know what else to say thats some of the story and would really like some opinions to help me finally make a decision to keep going on this way and just see what happens or say enough??

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Danielle - posted on 08/04/2012

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go to court and get support and a custody agreement, the court can make him do supervised visits until he gets his shit together. i have 2 kids w/ my ex, he would pay like 20 -40 when he felt like it even though he brings home 400 a week. and then he had the nerve to claim them on his taxes and take that money when he wasnt supporting them. that was enough for me to go to court and get cs, he now has to pay 131 a week, and since ill have LEGAL residency he cant claim them on his taxes again. if you dont have some sort of order your ex can do the same thing if he has your sons social #. its been a pain in the ass, but so worth it.

Jodi - posted on 08/03/2012

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Seeking child support isn't about being greedy. It is about both parents being responsible for the cost of raising the child they created TOGETHER.

So yes, you should absolutely file for child support.

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Jodi - posted on 08/03/2012

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Well, don't feel bad. I got sucked into that vacuum with my ex too, initially, and after 4 years, I filed, and yes, he went totally nuts over it. But at the end of the day, he has a responsibility to his child too, so he can just suck it up.

Fehrin - posted on 08/03/2012

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True, I don't know why I feel soo bad if I were to take him for child support. Thank you very much Jodi.

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