Venting / need advice

Mercedes - posted on 11/04/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hey moms , I've been a single parent basically from the moment I found out I was pregnant . My sons father never helped me and when I was pregnant he told me he wasnt obligated to do anything till the child was born . When my son was born he still didnt do anything he cursed my mom out and started to disrespect me through emails . Its almost 2 years now and he still hasent done anything he seen my son only a few times when I asked for money he claimed he would give it to me and then came up with an excuse . I dont know anyone from his side of his family , I dont even think he told them and if he did he clearly told them some bullshit . He told me he was living with a girl and bragged about how he spent money on her which upset me bc he never gave his child a penny . He claimed he moved out of state and I have no address for him just a current phone number and the girl he was living with address he claimed he wanted a blood test social security number and a birth certificate . I agreed to the blood test but told him I would need a address bc the court will ask and he called me a bitch and a fraud saying I will never get his address bc he knows I'm gonna send him child support papers and that I'm evil and a piece of shit and he told me to suck his ... You know what . The court is asking for a address or social security and I have neither this is stressing me out bc it has been going on for so long and I feel like nobody else in this world knows or understands how I feel . I dont understand why any guy wouldnt want to take care of their kid and be a coward . I dont know if I should show up to my court date or just forget it all hes verbally abusive and I wouldnt want him around my son without me being there and truthfully I dont want him having any custody bc idk what hes capable of doing

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Jodi - posted on 11/07/2013

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Actually, custody and child support are generally two different issues in most places. A person can still get visitation if they don't pay their child support, and you don't have a right to withhold that visitation just because he doesn't pay if the visits are court ordered. A court can also order child support with no visitation.

Whatever you do, turn up to the court date. If he applies for visitation, push for supervised visitation if you feel the child needs the protection.

Kylie - posted on 11/07/2013

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What state does he live in. Remember with child support payments may come visitation rights. He may not want to be around his child but may still participate in visitation just to piss you off. I have an 11 year old daughter and her bio dad has only seen her once for ten minutes, denied being a father then said he wasn't ready. I never went after a dime because over my dead body was he taking her anywhere. My husband that I met when she was 11 months old adopted her and we never looked back. Pray and do what is the best and safest option for the child. You can't beg someone to grow up, to be responsible or to be a father. Money sometimes is NOT worth it. If you want to talk further you can email me at kylie.davis@charter.net

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Mercedes - posted on 11/06/2013

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I spoke to a attorney and he told me about a private investigator very expensive !! But ill see what I can do as soon as i can . Thank you

Marissa - posted on 11/06/2013

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see if you can get a lawyer or private detective pro bono maybe they can get his info for you

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