VENTING... sad/mad/annoyed

Stefanie - posted on 08/17/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My husband and I have recently begun talking about trying to have a baby. We were discussing a few things like trying to figure out my cycle and when would be a good time to start. Then the conversation turned to what to name the baby if/when we got pregnant and knew what we were having. For the most part, he was joking about the names he picked, but I was being serious. He didn't seem to like any of my names then he never answered any more questions about anything baby-related, just changed the subject. Not really sure what happened! I think reality may have set in and he realized what having a baby would mean. Or he has decided that if we can't agree on names then we won’t agree on anything and this whole baby thing won’t work.
But I'm kind of hurt because 1. He was the one who brought up the subject of having a baby. As he puts it "we aren't getting any younger and we want to have a child while we're still young enough to do things with him/her" 2. I was really excited about possibly having another child, only this time it would be planned and it would be me and my HUSBAND and we'd be a real family. Now he seems to have changed his mind. Not sure what to do, think or say now :(

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Jessica - posted on 08/17/2012

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Bring that up to him. If you're lucky enough to have the subject approached for you, then bonus. But if not, then one night when you're both relaxed and in a good mood, gently bring up the topic, like "I was just thinking today that we never got to finish our conversation the other day about possibly having another child. I want to know your thoughts. Are you serious about it, or just talking for nothing'. Just because you dont agree on names doesnt mean anything. Me and my hubby didn't agree on our daughters name until the end. He hated the ones I picked and even made fun of one because he thought of something perverted to say with it. It upset me because i really liked that name, but I found another one that I liked even more, and he did too. There are a lot of things you won't agree on, thats the beauty of being a parenting team, you have to work together thru those hurdles. Reiterate the fact that you aren't getting any younger, and you don't want to be raising children in retirement years. Maybe he isn't aware that you are this serious about it, and that's something you should let him know too. Men can be very confusing, especially when it comes to having kids. If he's not giving you 100% attention during the matter, or seems to fluff it off, then he may not be ready and I wouldn't push it. Good luck! :)

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