Visitation advice

Jessica - posted on 02/08/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I have a very unique situation. I have 4 year old twins. the father has not been around for almost 3 years. I get child support but only $12 a week (thats combined for both). He has taken me to court for DNA out of spite and visitation (but did not show up). I live in NYC and he lives somewhere in PA. We have a past of domestic violence and he used to do it in front of my kids. He has 2 other kids that his mom has custody of. He has a record but no convictions and has attempted to kill himself by overdose.
Now me I've been on my own with my children since I was 19. I'm a full time student in my 4th semester going for my BA. The kids have speech disabilities and all of that is always taken care of as well as their health, everything is up to date.
I know I'm the best parent I can be but with past issues of DV and being absent in my kids life for so long I dont feel he should have any right to see the children. I've tried when we first split to establish something but he doesnt care about them unless he hurts me. I'm writing this because I recently sent a petition to his mothers house for a name change of last name. This started him with the bs of him saying hes going to take me to court for visitation.

3 Comments

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Michelle - posted on 02/08/2014

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Stability and consistency are very important for kids. I hope someone will be able to provide you with information so him visiting the kids can be denied. I hope visitation can be denied for him as well. Incase it doesn't work, and he is able to get visitation (hopefully supervised for the children's safety), since he is unreliable, maybe you could make plans for after the kids 'see' him. Maybe after each visit you take the kids to a movie, or the park, or McDonald's or something. That way whether he shows up or not, the kids know that afterwards they get to do something special with mommy. This way it builds a different type of consistency that kids need.

Jessica - posted on 02/08/2014

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thanks for answering. I'm also thinking the judge would grant supervised visits. But my thing is I know he would get it and show up maybe once or twice and disappear again and that is what I do not want. With my kids "disabilities" a stable schedule is very needed. I'm just hoping someone knows a way I can get it that visitation can be denied.

Michelle - posted on 02/08/2014

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As the father, he does have the right to see them. However, I would do what you could to make sure he doesn't have them on his own. To be honest, he says he's going to take you to court, tell him, okay, see you in court. Then you try and get full custody, or to where he has supervised visits. With his record, attempted suicide, and the fact that he hasn't been in your children's life for 3 years, he will not win, but you could.

I don't know if this was helpful or not, but it looks like all he wants to do is cause you trouble. Do what you can to get him out of the picture. He may be the children's father, but he is unfit, and from what you've said, he is a danger to you, and potentially to your children.

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