visiting dad

Jamie - posted on 08/15/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I have a two month old with my boyfriend. We aren't financially ready to move in together, so I'm staying with my mother, not only because of money, but because of all the support my family gives me (free babysitting whenever I want :P) I love my boyfriend and him with trust my son, but I'm extremely nervous about letting him go over there alone. Any words of advice?

Also, how did you guys figure out visitation schedules? Hopefully we'll have enough money saved in a couple of months, but in the meantime, my son needs to see his father.

5 Comments

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Kerri - posted on 08/16/2010

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A father is supposed to be on guard with his daughter's (or step- daughter's) bf ;)



Also, daddy time is good, for all of you. Baby gets time with daddy, daddy gets "training" so-to- speak, and mommy gets a little mommy-time.



Personally, I love watching my daughter play with her daddy, it makes me smile :0) Right now she's bouncing up and down on his belly and laughing at his grunts, hehehe. He's come a long way, I think we've shaped him into a decent daddy ;)

Kerri - posted on 08/16/2010

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If you trust your boyfriend with him, completely, let him go with daddy for awhile. I was always nervous about letting my bf handle the baby for any period of time too. When I first starting leaving and letting him stay with the baby, I'd call and text frequently. I just wasn't sure if he could handle it to be honest. And no one does as good of a job as mommy of course, haha. I was picky for awhile but after awhile it became easier. If he's eager to have some alone time with your son, then I say let him have it, just don't go too far in the beginning in case he needs you =]

Nicole - posted on 08/15/2010

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probably because she can hear you guys in the night. or thinks you may need a bit of a break and its his turn to step up. but if you don't want to give your baby up for a night you don't have to. and no one ever said your boyfriend had to stay the night...have him come over a few hours on the weekend or during free time that is set up and at the end of the day he goes home.
my boyfriend and i were looking at a similar situation where we would have to have been living separately because our lease was ending and we had no place lined up right away. so we came up with weekends and one day during the week. we would treat it as the days when we first started dating. meeting at a location that was a halfway point between our homes and spending the day together. because my mom is ok with him staying there he would have taken advantage of staying the night once every other week.
luckily we found and attained our next apartment so we didn't have to go through with our visitation plan.

Jamie - posted on 08/15/2010

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My mother likes him, but my stepfather is wary of him. My siblings all like him well enough also. But there's a lot of people here, so I can't have him come over and stay the night. Plus, my mother is all for him keeping the baby over night. I'm not sure why, it's not like we keep her up or she takes care of him at night. I think she thinks it's just something that I need to do. Idk.

Kimberly - posted on 08/15/2010

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How does your family feel about your boyfriend? If they don't despise him, why don't you suggest supervised visitation (though don't phrase it like that) and suggest that he come by when others are around (if you can't be.) so that if the baby gets too fussy, there's someone familiar around to soothe him.

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