was anyone as scared as i am about giving birth?

Courtney - posted on 05/26/2009 ( 12 moms have responded )

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is it really as bad as the horror stories that i hear... what do i need to expect... any good tips for relaxation that worked for you>>???

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Kristyn - posted on 05/27/2009

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I highly recommend a doula if you are trying to do it naturally. I didn't have one and I wish I had. But it's a whole lot easier if you go into it knowing that millions of other women have done it since the dawning of time and it normal. Lots of women in America have bad birth experiences because it's what they are expecting because that's what our culture shares, but there are a lot of women who had wonderful birth experiences too. I read Ina Mayes Guide to Childbirth and really liked it. I felt like it prepared me in a more constructive way.

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Don't be scared its really not that bad. I was never really scared b/c I knew it had to happen either way I thought about it. Just believe in yourself, think about how strong you are going to be and stay positive. I was in labor for 36 hrs with an hour of pushing and ended up with a c-section and I still didn't think it was as bad as I thought it would be. My second one had to be a c-section, as my hospital does not allow vbacs and it was worse than my first birth that I was actually in labor with. So every women is different, every birth is different. You will do just fine, I would recommend an epidural though, they are GREAT. Congrats and best of luck

Amelia - posted on 05/27/2009

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In the end it is over that quick it's not funny and you end up wondering what you were so worried about in the first place. When you see your child for the first time you forget all about the pain and it's gone as soon as it's over any way. my first was a still born at 34 weeks. 28 hours labour with no help from the baby. I found the hit bath didn't help me as such, i found for me the biggest help was my sister rubbing really hard on the base of my spine and the pain during contractions was gone. My second was induced and the pain was hard and fast but epidual got rid of that and it didnt affect him one bit. only 6 hours second time and the only pain afterwards was from tearing but that was gone in a week. It's not scarey it's the most spectacular thing in the world and your you have to do is focus on the little person you will be meeting and holding at the end.

Laura - posted on 05/27/2009

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hi there i am a mum of 2 and also a doula i pre pare mums for birth and all the mums i meet who are having babies for the first time feel exactly the same as you ! birth is different for everyone not all are bad. some good relaxation which i do with all my mums is to keep mobile, wlk and move about as much as you can as this helps baby to move through your pelvis more freely also use the birthing ball to get thoughs hips working. get your partner to massage your back with essential oils whilest having contractions you can also take all the things you like from home like music bedding photos ect. but dont worry hun think of the ending and having a beautiful baby to love i hope it all goes well for you

Edwina - posted on 05/27/2009

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i wasn't nervous or scared about giving birth,dont listen to other stories that people tell you everyone is different and its not all that bad i can promise you...due to my calmness of my birth my baby was 1 day late i had no problems at all and i was in labour for just 3hours.

lots of nice baths will relax you.use lavender oil in the bath and try to have one in the morning and one before bed.

hope i've helped.

Stephanie - posted on 05/26/2009

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I was pretty freaked out considering I was in bed watching all of the horrifically painful looking births on TLC. I was induced and had pain meds once they started other meds to make things move faster. I also had an epidural. I literally felt nothing. Didn't break a sweat. So it was a LOT easier than I thought. (Some people go the drug free route but I am tiny, barely 100lbs so didn't want to go there) The few weeks afterward weren't very pain free though.

Penny - posted on 05/26/2009

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Birth is everything you didn't expect. Just ask the nurses they will help you. I had a whole birthing plan and thought I was oh so ready. and then my son was breach and I had a c section. so all my plans got thrown out the window.. You will be fine..just listen to the doctors they are there for a reason.. if our grandmothers could do it 60 years ago with no pain meds we will make it..

Danielle - posted on 05/26/2009

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yes i was scared and didn't want to think about or talk about what it would be like.

all i can tell you is nothing any of us say can prepare you for it but once you hold your baby you wont care, it will be the hardest thing you will ever do but the best thing as well, just remember, its only one day in your life and it wont last for ever.

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I'm going to have my second baby in August, and I am really excited about the birth! Your body releases heaps of oxytocin when you're in labour, which is the same hormone that you release when you have great sex. It helps you relax and is part of what keeps things "moving". Your body has an amazing network of functions that kick in when you give birth, and these work even better when you give birth naturally cos there's no medication to jumble things up, but whatever happens, you've got everything you need to do a fantastic job!

I was amazed by how fulfilling an experience birth was, because I was scared witless too! It's definitely like Carissa says, though - when the time comes, you'll know just what to do and you just need to trust your instincts (I'm usually a pretty rational rather than "feelings" person, but during birth I had such strong feelings about what to do when and what I needed).

How long until you're due?

Carissa - posted on 05/26/2009

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I was TERRIFIED about giving birth. It's one of those things that there is no way of knowing how it is going to feel or what is going to happen until you go through it. In fact, I even kind of went into shock when my water broke. I started shaking and my teeth were chattering uncontrollably because I was so scared.

I did a natural/unmedicated birth. Once labor really gets going, you won't be scared anymore. And by the time I was ready to push, I would have done anything to get the kid out so I wasn't nervous about that part either. The most important recommendation I have is to have a good labor coach. The combo of my doula and my husband helped me stay focused and on top of the contractions.

Labor and delivery hurts, but I hate that people focus so much on the pain. I would do it again a hundred times over. I think the whole experience is so intensely beautiful. There is nothing, NOTHING like it in the world. When all is said and done, you will be overwhelmed with love for you baby and pride in yourself and what you were able to do.

Women have been doing this since the beginning! You can do it, and it's going to be great!

Minnie - posted on 05/26/2009

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I was induced with my first and did not want to go that route again..with the meds and interventions and such. So I went all-natural and had a home waterbirth for my second. I loved it immensely. It was the most exhilerating, wonderful, amazing experience of my life. I would do it that way a thousand times over.

Don't pay attention to the horror stories. Birth is a normal body process that, if left to itself, will go swimmingly at least 95% of the time. Your body and mind is made to handle birth and you are perfectly capable to. If you're going to have an unmedicated birth you should look into a waterbirth. Water is considered the next best pain reliever to the epidural. It's so incredibly relaxing, and you can move so easily.

I sort of went into a trance during my labor. I kept going over the pattern at the bottom of my tub. And I made sure to keep my bottom, face, abs, and legs as relaxed as possible. And I moaned through the contractions. Before I knew it, I had to push, and she came out in four minutes. And then I lifted her to the air myself!

Then we got in bed and snuggled and nursed without any interruptions. I loved it so much- it was so intimate, comfortable, and peaceful.

Danica - posted on 05/26/2009

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Everyone is quick to share their horror stories. Birth is scary because you don't know what to expect. I was even scared the second time around. Just remember that your body was designed for this and you just have to follow the leads.

My second delivery was WAY easier than my first. The first labour lasted 18 hours with 3 hours of pushing because my daughter was posterior, my second was 5.5 hours with 15 minutes of pushing.

Don't be afraid to ask for what you need, drugs, walking, changing positions. Also, trust your OB/midwife, they are there for you and have seen it all. Sure it hurts but all the pain is forgotten as soon as the baby is out.

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